1.0-3 years old
Children of this age will be unable to control their emotions and often cry. If the child is crying, parents should give the child an emotional response.
Orphans in Romania once told us the importance of caring in early life. If parents only respond to children's physical needs at this stage and ignore their emotional needs, it will destroy the formation of children's self-image and accumulate negative emotions in their hearts.
On the one hand, children will have this idea: Will my parents ignore me only when I cry, or will my parents ignore me if I can't cry? Parents should distinguish whether their children need our comfort when they are crying.
If the baby is really young and cries when parents are not around, then parents should give the baby enough sense of security so that he won't always be afraid and want to cry. Children in this period have enough sense of security, and there will be less negative emotions except physical needs.
2.3-6 years old
Babies can walk and talk at this age, but they are still very weak. When they encounter many things, they will find that their ability can't do many things, and they will collapse at this time. And began to sprout independent consciousness and enter the first rebellious period.
For example, they want to take things from the table, but after trying hard, they find that they can't reach the height of things, so they will have a nervous breakdown and feel that they can't do it, which is very sad.
When parents feel this emotion, they should have the right way to educate their children. We should not laugh at them for not being able to do what adults can easily do, but should comfort them and help them do what children can't do.
And encourage children and tell them that you can do these things when you grow up. Don't be too sad. We can't let them feel hopeless, then they will be more sad and can't get rid of negative emotions.
In the meantime, some children will play with their parents. Whether they like it or not, their parents will say "no" to everything they say, they will begin to know how to perceive words and feelings, threaten their parents with negative emotions, and when they don't get the toys they want, they will start to cry and lose their temper.
When parents face these rebellious demands of their children, they can't let their children get what they want just because they cry, but they will only be more immersed in this mode. If they get nothing in the future, they will be more depressed and cry, and they will be more difficult to cope with.
During this period, parents should give their children the right to choose, let them feel respected, and make some family rules with their children, which can not only let them vent their emotions, but also let them realize their mistakes.
3.6- 12
At this age, children need to leave their parents' shelter and go to school alone. This is really a cruel thing for a child. When they haven't accepted strange things, they should be sent to strange people and strange environments.
During this period, children's anxiety and negative emotions mainly come from test scores and interpersonal relationships. If the child has negative emotions at this time, parents must give the child enough encouragement and comfort to make the child confident to face more difficult things and challenges.
When the children are older, there may be pressure to study, and they need to take exams frequently, for fear that they will be criticized by us for their poor grades.
Parents should not only pay attention to their children's grades, but should tell their children what is important is how much knowledge TA has mastered, and grades are only the incidental result of TA's focus on understanding.
It doesn't matter if the child's grades are not good, the key is the learning attitude. The main task at this time is to cultivate good study habits. Of course, during this period, the communication between parents and children should transition from preaching to listening. Let your child keep trusting you and talk to you instead of accumulating negative emotions in his heart.
4. adolescence
Adolescent children will feel that they have grown up, and they can do many things by themselves without the help and verbosity of their parents.
However, parents have not changed for a while, and children have grown up a lot. They will still treat their children as children and feel that they have not grown up and need constant reminders and help from their parents.
Then children will feel more rebellious at this time, more unwilling to listen to their parents, or feel that their parents don't understand them and feel very disappointed.
Parents really need to learn to let go slowly when their children are in adolescence, and also appropriately let their children participate in the decision-making of family affairs, just like Ji Shengli and Liu Jing in Little Joy. At first, I got sick and didn't tell because I was afraid of affecting my study. It turns out that parents' lies will only bring anxiety to their children, which will not help.
On the contrary, after telling Ji, Ji studied hard and finally achieved good results in the college entrance examination. Therefore, this also gives us a warning as parents. When children grow up in places we can't see, they also have the right to know and participate in family affairs.
Positive emotions are really advocated in our life or work, but everything has two sides. If we have positive emotions, we will have negative emotions. When children have negative emotions, parents should pay more attention to and take care of their children's negative emotions and help them get rid of them or learn how to deal with them. This will be a moment that children will always remember and a lifetime treasure.