These problems always bother every parent, especially when the child is 5- 10 years old and enters school again. Various problems emerge one after another, and parents have a headache in the face of these "naughty children".
We were not parents from birth, but from the day the child was born, we were promoted to parents. In the face of all kinds of problems that suddenly appear in children, we will inevitably become angry from embarrassment and use emotions to solve problems.
Although we will regret treating our children with bad words afterwards, we can't control our emotions and there is no best way to solve them when we see their naughty children.
However, even so, as parents, we should know that education is not to force children to yield, but to learn to squat down and talk to them.
Children are not just children, they are completely independent people like our parents, but they are a miniature version of us. The way we treat them depends on their attitude towards us.
Before, I heard a friend complain. She said that her eldest son didn't know what had happened recently. Ever since she was pregnant and ready to have a second child, the eldest son in elementary school has been against herself everywhere.
I fought with my classmates at school today, failed the exam tomorrow, didn't write my homework well at home, and often talked back to myself. I'm really angry with him.
Her eldest son, Tao Tao, is seven years old. He is in the first grade of primary school. I used to go to their house. This child knows me well, too. He is not as naughty as she says. He is very clever.
I learned to do arithmetic when I was in kindergarten, and I can also exchange some simple spoken English. I am also very clever and obedient, but after only one year, he has become so naughty.
I asked my friend how Tao Tao handled her when she was naughty.
My friend told me that I was in a bad mood because I was pregnant and because of some trivial things in my life, I was often called to school by my teacher to reflect his affairs. So whenever I see Tao Tao naughty, I will scold him, sometimes let him stand in the corner, and even hit him a few times when I am angry.
I asked again, so the purpose of your practice is to make the children obey, right?
My friend said, yes, I just wanted him to be obedient and not noisy, but it worked well for a while, and then he began to be naughty again. There is really no way.
After listening to his words, I seem to have found the real reason why Tao Tao was naughty. I told her that when Tao Tao is naughty again, she must calm down first. Don't lose her temper in a hurry. She can calm down first.
Tell your child that you are angry now and need to calm down, but your mother will always love you and you should reflect on it. When our anger is over, we will talk it over.
Later, she listened to me. When Tao Tao deliberately dropped the bowl on the floor, she really wanted to fly into a rage and give him a beating. Suddenly, she remembered what I said.
First, she looked at Tao Tao and was silent for a few seconds. Then she squatted down, looked at Tao Tao, and said quietly, "Tao Tao, your mother is very angry when you do this. It is wrong of you to do so. Mom needs to calm down, but she will always love you. You should also reflect on it now. When you figure it out, mom will talk to you again. "
Tao Tao suddenly stopped making trouble, just looked at her calmly, and then she walked into the room. After a while, suddenly the door of the room was carefully pushed open and a small head poked out.
Tao Tao went in and said to her with a guilty face; "Mom, I'm sorry, I was wrong. I didn't mean to be so angry with you. Can you forgive Tao Tao? "
My friend looked surprised and a little touched, she said; "Mom loves you so much, of course she will forgive you, but you can't do this in the future."
"Mom, do you know why I often make you angry?"
The friend shook his head. "Why?
"Because grandma said that my mother didn't love Tao Tao when she had a little brother, I made you angry to make you love me."
It turned out that Tao Tao listened to her grandmother's words and thought that her mother would not love herself with her little brother, so she did so many things that made her angry. My friend was particularly sad to hear that.
It turns out that after I got pregnant, I paid little attention to Tao Tao, and I seldom took care of him as before. Coupled with grandma's teasing, Tao Tao was like this. Thinking of this, my friend finally realized how much I owe my children.
In fact, not all children are naughty for no reason, but we don't find their thoughts and ignore their feelings, so children will do things that make their parents angry.
Educating children is not forcing them to obey, but listening to their voices, so that the relationship between parents and children will be better.
We are parents for the first time, and our children are our children for the first time, so let our children have the right to speak like us. Education is not to tame a child, but to guide them.