This article is very long,
Estimated reading time: 10 minute.
The Korean documentary "Dear, Don't Cross the River" directed by Mo-young Jin tells the love story between two elderly people who have lived a luxurious life for 76 years with the cold and quiet mountain village as the background and the wasted years as the theme.
This is a very tearful movie, which is different from the vigorous charm when I was young. When the film started, we were sitting alone in the back row of two old people who had lost candles, watching the end of their love that had already been submerged by the world of mortals, and watching the arrival and departure of their snow-soft lives.
Grandma Jiang Xilie is 89 years old and grandpa Cao Bingwan is 98 years old. It has been 76 years since they met and fell in love. Two old people live in a corner of Hengchengshan Village, Jiangyuan Road, where the mountains and rivers are beautiful and the scenery is pleasant. This is how they come and go quietly in the songs of the four seasons.
Looking back on the past years, they have experienced disease, poverty, war and death, and have gone through countless spring, summer, autumn and winter hand in hand. When they really face each other's parting, they can't let go. Next to the two old people's houses, there is a small river trickling westward, with a panoramic view of beauty and joy. But in grandma Jiang Xilie's eyes, she doesn't want to cross the river with grandpa, nor can she walk hand in hand with grandpa, because once she breaks down, she will never come back. Grandma watched the river flow westward, as if she saw grandpa waving to her at the end of the river.
They met in the snowy winter. He was 23 years old and she 14 years old. Grandpa said that when he was 9 years old, his mother died of illness and his family was very poor. But since the adoption of Jiang Xilie's family, he has never been frozen or hungry. It wasn't long before they got married. In this ignorant youth, they got married here and lived a plain life of daily necessities in rough years. For more than 70 years, grandpa Cao Bingwan was not angry with grandma Jiang Xilie for anything. In this way, they spent countless meals and four seasons in a corner village.
You married me when it was snowing heavily.
In 76, the old couple gave birth to 12 children. However, six children unfortunately disappeared or died. Grandma buys some new clothes and shoes to burn every year, so that these children can put on warm clothes below. When grandma said these words, tears had already filled her eyes quietly, and the bitterness and thoughts buried in her heart finally poured out. Grandpa, on the other hand, sat beside his grandmother, his wrinkled face soon fell down and looked at a thick stack of new clothes without saying a word. They know better than anyone what it's like to lose their loved ones, but at this time, they are most concerned about and miss each other. Because grandma knows that grandpa will leave soon, she will bury him after all. Because grandpa knows that grandma is the most insecure person in his life, he can't accompany her like water after all.
Grandma Jiang Xilie is afraid of the dark, so she tells her husband to stay outside when she goes to the toilet at night. Grandpa Cao Bingwan was afraid that Grandma would be alone, so he sang one ballad after another for her. On that long night, the moonlight dripped on their hearts like still water. They are as sweet and warm as newlyweds. Even after countless long nights, they have long forgotten that they have gone through more than 70 years unconsciously. They go up the mountain to chop wood and pick vegetables every day and live a life of daily necessities. Grandpa Cao Bingwan is very weak and has asthma. He said he was tired without cutting much firewood, but even so, grandpa always pretended to be brave and carried the most firewood on his back, so he couldn't bear to be a little tired.
Soon, winter came, and it snowed heavily on Jiangyuan Road for several days. The blue roof and the green river have already been covered by heavy snow, and the couple put on new couples' clothes to sweep the snow outside. Grandma Jiang Xilie said that eating the first snow in winter is good for your health. She has always believed that her husband can live forever and she can always accompany him.
One night, grandpa Cao Bingwan had an asthma attack and was out of breath. So grandma stayed up all night, taking care of her husband lying in bed and sleeping with him. But grandma already has a foundation in her heart, which may be the last time in grandpa's life, and I don't know how many nights left to sleep with him like this. Thinking of this, grandma began to cry silently.
I think of the road we walked together, the bitterness we experienced and the sweetness we tasted in 76 years. Grandpa never left his side and never let go of his hand. Their departed child silently prayed in heaven that the two old people could continue to live together, but the angel's call turned over grandpa's name with emotion, and time slowly took away his life with an uneasy and sad heart.
Generous, stingy, gentle and pale time has given you a lifetime to find the answer to life, but it has never extended a moment for you in the deep years.
A person's life is very long, but no matter how long it is, it can't make a person love another person enough, just like two accompanying souls, which have long been integrated by time in the world.
It's just right for you to accompany me as the spring breeze.
After winter, spring wakes up and everything recovers, followed by green trees and revived flowers and plants. The children came back to visit the old people one after another and pay New Year greetings to their grandparents. The whole family got together and had a heart-to-heart talk, laughing and making a big table. One of the daughters told a sweet story about how grandpa spoiled grandma, which made everyone laugh. The old couple spent the last happy New Year in their lives in this kind of passionate laughter and long-lost fireworks.
Usually, children are busy with housework and work. There are only two dogs, one is black and the other is white, the white one is Tiny, and the black one is deferential. When grandpa sang that ballad for grandma, two dogs and the big tree beside him were the only audience in the performance.
They wear matching shirts to go out to the market, buy clothes and go to any place they wanted to go far before, but they were afraid to go more. Although they faltered, they all walked hand in hand. But grandpa's health is getting weaker and weaker. Every time he walks, he stops to have a rest, bending over and panting, which really makes people feel distressed. Grandma Jiang Xilie looked at grandpa's back on the bridge and shed tears unconsciously. She looked at the river flowing behind her and prayed that it wouldn't take her lover away so quickly. But what grandma can do is to stay with grandpa all the time, and in this last time, as usual, hold his hand and accompany him to sleep.
Summer begins in the delicate and soft sunshine, and the weather is getting hotter and hotter. The children celebrate grandma Jiang Xilie's birthday, but even the opportunity to get together twice a year makes them feel very troublesome. At this time, the eldest daughter at home complained about the eldest brother, saying that he did nothing and was unwilling to take care of his parents. In front of the two old people, they shouted all the vicious and realistic words. Sometimes, life is not as beautiful as expected, and it is crushed by some scribbled trivial matters and trivial matters.
Some people's ideals are based on a rich life, and some people's ideals are based on a poor heart, but neither wealth nor poverty will be the only reason to directly crush the utopia. And those accumulated resentment and distress, those incomprehensible, are the greatest power to tear down the wall of ideals. What the children really didn't expect was that this unhappy dinner was their last gathering.
Soon after, the little white dog left his parents, and his grandparents buried him in a overgrown field in the back hill. On the way home, grandma seemed to feel something. She looked at the mountain shadow not far away and felt dejected, and shed tears unconsciously. The little one is dead. Maybe he couldn't find the way there after Grandpa left, so he took the lead to show Grandpa the way, so Grandpa wouldn't be lonely when he got there. Grandma and Gong Shun will also meet Grandpa and Tiny soon after they leave.
In the love between Grandpa Cao Bingwan and Grandma Jiang Xilie, there are many things that modern people can't reach. Even some people still have such desires and expectations, but the reality is often a wall less than a height. This wall separates us from luxury and hope into you and me who only pay attention to reality and hard work.
Time in the world of mortals is always so puzzling, so gentle when you miss someone, and so painful when you mourn someone. When we want to catch it, it often slips through our fingers, and the footprints we left at last will eventually be erased, leaving only a wisp of smoke.
You left me when it was snowing heavily.
The autumn wind blew away all the fallen leaves scattered on the earth. At home, Gong Shun gave birth to six or seven puppies, and one of them ran to his elderly grandfather, which also meant the beginning of a new life and the departure of another life. In the remaining days, grandma still stayed at grandpa's bedside and accompanied him through the last period of his life. Grandma has begun to silently prepare for this farewell that will never look back. Her tears ran down and stung her heart like needles. Think of each other playing in the autumn yard, having snowball fights and making snowmen together after the heavy snow in winter, and splashing water on each other in the spring afternoon. But in a blink of an eye, the lover who accompanied him all his life left. No one regarded himself as a child, and no one tolerated and forbeared his grandmother.
Think of what my grandfather said to my grandmother before: life is the same as flowers and leaves. We flourish in spring, enjoy the beating of rain in summer, and wither with frost in autumn, so is life. When I was young, I was like a flower in bud. Although it looks beautiful after flowering, it will eventually wither and decline with the passage of time and return to nothingness. Grandpa is indifferent to life and death. The only thing he doesn't trust is grandma.
Finally, grandpa's rapid breathing and coughing, grandma's weak sobbing and crying, accompanied by the relentless beating of the waves by the river, quietly left. He finally crossed the river and waved goodbye to grandma.
You married me when it was snowing, but you left me when it was snowing. We have gone through countless spring, summer, autumn and winter together, but in a blink of an eye we have turned into a cloud. Grandma buried her husband in a corner by the river, and she would follow. They went to that world to continue their unfinished love.
Dear, don't cross that river. It's taken from the folk song "Crossing the Red Five Rivers". In that ballad, the husband insisted on crossing the river by himself, but accidentally fell into the river. In real life, grandma doesn't want grandpa to cross that river. For them, this river is like the dividing line between Yin and Yang. Once crossed, they will never meet again.
Grandpa Cao Bingwan and grandma Jiang Xilie spent a happy and warm love life, but how many people can understand this kind of love, because they have experienced too many beautiful scenes of heavy snow, where will you go? War and conflict separated them from their children, and the pace of real life kept their only child away from home. Snow is extremely beautiful, because their pain and suffering are disappearing quietly. The reason why couples can maintain this initial intention of maintaining love and marriage is precisely because of this grinding suffering that they have learned to be tolerant, considerate, understand and trust each other.
When I was young, I thought that vigorous vows and promises were love, and the courage to take the lead was responsibility. But when I was old, I found that it was just a beautiful image blooming on the epiphyllum. As time goes by, all that remains is remorse and guilt, emptiness and fear. But true love is just a gentleness that can't be said for a lifetime. It doesn't need too many words to prove it, but it takes time to verify it.