So many parents will pay attention to their children's education first. Indeed, children's education is the most important, and it should be started from an early age, but how to educate them? This is a difficult problem.
This is a girl of 23 years old, Yao Yao. She said that her parents almost arranged her growth.
When I was a child, I loved my parents very much. I will report everything to my parents, share happy and unhappy things with them at the first time, and my parents will give me some suggestions and praise at the beginning.
Later, Yao Yao found that no matter what she said, her parents were watching her mouth open and close. In fact, her mind is not there at all, and sometimes she scolds a few words: "Why do you talk so much!"
Every time I eat or buy snacks, my parents always force her to eat what they like or what they think is good for Yao Yao. If Yao Yao says she doesn't like food, her parents will severely criticize her for being picky about food.
My own clothes have never been my favorite. Every time my parents always give Yao Yao clothes that they think look good, and Yao Yao says she doesn't like them, and her parents will scold her for being ungrateful. Think that's it? No, I have to buy it back after scolding and force her to wear it.
From childhood to adulthood, academic performance and school choice are also in accordance with parents' wishes. My job after graduation was introduced by my parents. Even the love I am talking about now is arranged by my parents. My every move is under my parents' control.
Yao Yao said that she didn't know how many times she had resisted since she was a child, but every time her parents didn't listen, even if she did, she didn't take it seriously. She felt paralyzed, and she said she didn't know what the meaning of living like this was.
Sometimes, parents think that love for their children is actually a kind of harm to their children. I just put pressure on my children and love them, but I didn't settle down to get to know them well and know what they really need.
Ms. Li is a real workaholic. She has been telling her friends that there is no love in this world, but there is absolutely no job.
She said she could rest at home for three days at most. If she is still resting after three days, it is absolutely unacceptable. Work is all she has.
However, after having children, it is really hard to watch them go to work. Parents are old, so it must be very difficult to take care of the children. She can only quit her job and stay at home as a full-time mother.
Without a job, children are all she has, and she thinks about them 24 hours a day.
Eat with a nutritionist and buy the best quality clothes, lest the children feel uncomfortable; After her children went to school, Ms. Li attended various lectures of parenting experts and bought many parenting books, so it is necessary to educate her children well.
But one day after school, the child came home with a good temper: "Can you leave me alone?" Do you know what my classmates say about me? They call me Giant Baby and Mama Bao! Have you nothing to do? "
Ms. Li looked at her usually obedient son, and her heart was mixed.
Later, she thought to herself, really, since she had a son, she had no life at all. Her former good friend doesn't know when she stopped contacting. Looking at the empty wardrobe, she couldn't remember the last time she bought clothes. Looking at her face in the mirror, she asked: How long has she been wearing makeup?
She put all her energy into the children, divorced from the society, but got the roar and resistance of the children. She feels like a failure.
It seems that I am devoted to my children, but I have never asked my children if they can bear this love.
Many parents say that the obedient and well-behaved children don't know when they have alienated themselves and don't know how to communicate with them at all. Asking too many children will annoy you, and finally there is time, but the children are silent.
For educating children and how to communicate with them, a netizen gave his own opinion with personal experience:
Kobayashi said that once when she was a child, on the eve of her father's birthday, she saw her classmates knitting bracelets, so she thought of knitting a small pendant for her father as a birthday present.
So I bought all my pocket money as a red rope and asked my classmates to teach me how to do it. After mastering the method, I made up for it with joy. In order to catch up with my father's birthday, I do it every day in class and after class, and then I go home and hide in the house after school.
Finally, I was found by the teacher in a class and called my parents after being criticized. After listening to the teacher's complaint, my father pointed at my nose and scolded me without even asking. Xiao Lin wanted to explain, but his father said angrily, "Don't give me so many excuses, don't I know you?" If you don't learn anything every day, no wonder you don't study hard and you will lose me! "
Kobayashi didn't give the pendant to his father until the end. He put it in a gift box and put it under the bed. Since then, Kobayashi has spent all his game time studying, and his relationship with his parents has gradually become cold.
Until one day of my sophomore year, Xiao Lin received a short message from my father, saying:
Linlin, I just cleaned your room with your mother and found a box under your bed. I didn't know it was your gift to my father until I opened it.
Did you make this up when you were a child? Remember when dad scolded you, dad felt guilty! I made you sad, baby, I'm sorry! Dad apologizes to you. Dad likes this gift very much. My mother and I love you very much.
Xiao Lin burst into tears after reading it. It turns out how important it is to be understood by parents.
Later, when she got married and had children, Kobayashi decided to respect them. Even if you come back late, you should communicate with your children for an hour every day, treat them as friends, and let them feel the love, respect and understanding of their parents.
Whether it is big or small, or even what to eat every day, she will ask her children's opinions; When the child made a mistake, she didn't criticize education as her father did when he was a child. Instead, she controlled her emotions and patiently asked what happened and why the child did it.
Kobayashi said that it was because of her father's short message that she knew the significance of communication between parents and children, which made her live so happily and safely now.
There is a reason why children are not close to their parents. Every child is born to love his parents, and some of them are just consumed by their parents' behavior for a long time.
In the first issue of "Mom is Superman", when Huo Siyan and her son Uh-huh were chatting at home, they asked where Uh-huh wanted to play in the summer vacation, whether to go to the seaside or something. Uh-huh Tong really said, "I don't know, I want to play on the moon."
If you are a bad-tempered parent, you will definitely scold or laugh at your children when you hear such an answer, but Huo Siyan didn't disrespect Mm-hmm, and didn't disagree with Mm-hmm. He just said, "You want to go to the moon, you can. After making money, you can buy a ticket to the moon yourself. "
Then, uh-huh, he said he would take a rocket and need his mother to accompany him. Huo Siyan said, "Then you can buy two tickets."
Uh-huh, and then he said that he would take his father. Huo Siyan echoed: "Well, the plane ticket is very expensive."
Mm-hmm: "I'm going to take Mangosteen, Nene and her younger brother, as well as Puff and Jasper, and then the fathers will sit together, and so will we children." Mom, you will take care of our children. "
Hearing this, Huo Siyan gave his son a compliment, saying that his son is really atmospheric.
Children's thoughts are always unrestrained and their words are innocent. How many parents can chat with their children as patiently as Huo Siyan? Respect children's ideas, give them advice and praise, and make them feel that you are both my mother and my bosom friend.
A parent who can chat is undoubtedly the happiest for children. Only by listening carefully to children's thoughts and opinions will children trust you more and more and will they be willing to confide in you.
Educating children is like riding a bike. You should always check the road conditions and control the speed.
The child is growing fast. Parents should observe their children's mental health at any time and communicate with them more, so that children can become psychologically dependent from physical closeness.
It is the best way to love children and make the relationship between parents and children closer.