Wenzhi Dong Na
The first way of inaction: "no time" and "don't know"
Qin was born in an intellectual family in Beijing from 65438 to 0990. His parents, who graduated from Tsinghua, didn't expect much from him, but their education for their children was not sloppy, but the way of education was different from that of many parents.
In the face of children's endless "why", many parents are struggling to answer and desperately charge. Parents chase their children to learn at all costs in order to let them learn knowledge. But Qin Song and Gong Jie have never done this.
When communicating with children, their most common language is: "The baby's problem is great, but mom and dad don't know. Will you help us find the answer? " "Mom and dad don't have time. Do you think of yourself first? " Parents who "have no time" and "don't know" let Qin learn to solve problems by himself from an early age.
Before Qin went to primary school, many people told children that they must learn to read, but they didn't. When Qin was 3 years old, he used to tell stories to his son with a picture book before going to bed every night. The imaginative and bizarre plot in the book fascinated Qin. While listening to his mother, he stared at the book with wide eyes. "Mom, what does this word mean?" When he meets unfamiliar words, he can't wait to ask his mother.
Just as Qin was fascinated by the story, he suddenly decided not to tell his son a story. She said to Qin, "son, mom is busy with work recently, so she can't tell you stories." Find it yourself. You can ask me if you don't understand. " In fact, in a busy place, Gong Jie deliberately made a move to keep his son's appetite and let him go to school by himself.
At first, Qin was not used to it and pestered his mother to tell stories. So Gong Jie sat in his study, with a book in his hand, and let him pester himself and ignore it. Seeing her mother's careless appearance, Qin was too lazy to pester her, just holding a picture book and reading it himself. In the process of reading, unfamiliar words are often encountered. Qin wanted to tell the story clearly, so she chased her mother and asked her to tell her son patiently whenever this happened.
Slowly, my son got used to reading alone, and Gong Jie was happy to be at leisure. Unlike many mothers of three-year-old children, Gong Jie has enough time to do her own thing every night. In this process, Qin's literacy has also improved by leaps and bounds, and he has a strong interest in reading.
Like many children of the same age, Qin is also full of strong curiosity about all kinds of things in nature. Once, Qin Song and Gong Jie took their children to the zoo to play. Walking to the area around Shihu Mountain, Qin suddenly asked, "Who is better, the lion or the tiger?" Qin Song and Gong Jie looked at each other. Their son's question really stumped them. "That's a good question, but mom and dad can't say clearly. Why don't we go home and look up this book? " Gong Jie said frankly to his son.
After returning home, I handed Qin "100,000 Why": "Do you want to know who is a lion or a tiger? The answer is here. " After hearing what his father said, Qin couldn't wait to pick up the book and look for the answer to the question like a treasure hunt. "I found it, I found it!" Qin was happy from ear to ear.
Seeing their son's excitement, Gong Jie and Qin Song were suddenly inspired-he would get a greater sense of accomplishment than if parents told the answer directly and let the children explore for themselves.
Since then, in the face of their sons' various "why", Qin Song and Gong Jie have a new trick, that is, "I don't know, find the answer yourself and tell us when you find the answer." In order to cooperate with their son's exploration and discovery, they bought Qin different versions of "100,000 Why".
Qin Song and Gong Jie's seemingly "indifference" to children actually conforms to the law of children's natural growth: they don't set limits on children, but stimulate their desire and ability to explore themselves.
From 65438 to 0997, Qin was a pupil in beijing university of chemical technology.
Qin, who went to primary school, did not change his playful nature. Because of carelessness, he often didn't finish his homework and made mistakes in the test. Qin Song and Gong Jie are worried and discuss with their grandparents how to face this new problem. Grandpa is a writer of children's literature, and has always advocated entertaining. He said to Qin Song, "Which child doesn't like to play? When you were at school, you also loved to play. Have we ever controlled you? Is your study delayed because of playing? " Finally, the whole family reached an agreement on educating their children. Learning is Qin's own business, so he should be independent and coordinate the relationship between learning and playing. Tell Qin that reading is closely related to his future, but all this is his own business and should be arranged by him. Of course, no matter she is not ignorant of the situation, grandma will often chat with Qin to learn about his study at school, so as to know fairly well. This relaxed environment did not let Qin relax his study. On the contrary, it prompted him to form a good habit of studying consciously: listen carefully in class, come back from school, hurry up to finish his homework, and then play happily. Moreover, in order to have more time to play, Qin himself is constantly summing up and exploring how to finish his homework efficiently.
Once, Gong Jie bought his son a very interesting math book, but his son put it on the shelf and ignored it. At this time, the methods of Gong Jie and Qin Song are still ignored. Gong Jie didn't force his son to study. When the family was sitting around for dinner, Gong Jie said to Qin Song, "Have you solved the puzzle of' colored socks'?" "Colored socks?" Hearing the new word Qin, I was sitting there and my eyes shone. "What colored socks?" "This is an interesting math problem I bought," Gong Jie said with deliberate understatement. "Oh, colored socks? I really didn't expect this question. " Qin Song and Gong Jie echoed each other. "Where is the book? Let me see, let me see. " Thus, Qin could not sit still. Come to Qin with a book. Before the meal was finished, Qin turned to the book with great interest.
The second way of inaction: ignore the results, but get excellent results.
In 2003, Qin was admitted to Xicheng Foreign Language School with excellent results. Qin, who entered junior high school, did not spend most of his energy on his studies. He is a class and student union cadre, playing the piano, basketball and reading extracurricular books ... it seems that he plays most of the time.
At this time, Qin Song and Gong Jie did not fall into anxiety because of their son's "not reading". They still insist on their own method-"no matter" and leave the initiative entirely to Qin. Facts have proved that their choice is correct. As a result of cultivating a strong sense of time since childhood, Qin is particularly good at using scattered time to study. For example, when the family goes out to eat together, when it's time to serve food, he will take out his exercise book and finish his homework quickly. His mother told him to go shopping, and he would take an English book with him and recite words while waiting in line. In addition, Qin's classroom efficiency is also extremely high. He knows exactly what he has mastered and what he needs to learn. In this way, after a semester, Qin's academic performance advanced by leaps and bounds, and the final exam actually jumped to the top of the class.
When Qin excitedly showed his mother the report card of the first place in the exam, he said airily, "What's the big deal about being first in the class? There are only twenty people in the class. Think about it, how many people are there in the whole grade? " After listening to his mother, Qin was unconvinced. In the following time, Qin really got the first place in the grade. However, regarding his son's achievement, Gong Jie still said lightly: "You are only the first in the boarding department. What's the big deal? How many people are there in the whole Xicheng Foreign Language School? " When Qin took the first place in the west, he was still saying the same thing: "How many people are there in the whole Xicheng District?" "If you say that, there will never be an end!" Qin is really unconvinced. "Yes, there is no end to learning." Gong Jie still said quietly.
"Other students did well in the exam, and their parents bought them gifts to take them to travel, but you never rewarded me!" Qin Xiaoyi said with grievance.
"Learning is your own business, and your grades are not for mom and dad. Why should we reward you? Besides, gifts are emotional communication between people and have nothing to do with exams. Tourism is a wonderful physical and mental experience and a process of broadening one's horizons, rather than the exchange of academic achievements. If you want to be like other students, then our twice-a-year travel plan will be cancelled, and all the gifts we usually give you will be taken back, and you will only be rewarded after you get good grades in the exam. " Considering that mom and dad have always given themselves full satisfaction in this respect, Qin quickly took back what he just said. "Forget it, forget it, you still don't reward me."
He has always been indifferent to Qin's academic performance. Therefore, Qin never took his achievements so seriously. In his view, the key is to understand the knowledge thoroughly, and this process is the happiest. It is this utilitarian mentality that makes Qin do well in every exam.
The sentence "Wandering happily in the sea of knowledge" is just right for Qin. In his view, life and study are inseparable. Qin likes to use the knowledge in books to solve various novel problems in life. One day, Qin released the car and took his son out to play. On the way, he found his son staring at the dashboard. "What is this guy thinking?" Whenever this happens, Qin Song will consciously ask a deeper question for his son to think about.
"How do you think the speed on the dashboard is displayed?" "The engine is connected with the machine, and the machine can measure the speed of the engine." Qin Xiaoyi said thoughtfully. "That makes sense." Dad immediately encouraged, "So, what is the relationship between rotational speed and linear speed?" Qin didn't expect a good explanation at that time. After returning home, he thought about it and found the key to the conversion relationship between rotational speed and linear speed-the circumference of the wheel.
When Qin told his father the result, let him personally verify it on the next bus ride. However, in the following riding, it was found that the relationship between Qin's actual speed and vehicle speed did not meet his expectations. But at the same time, he found that the speed on the dashboard changed greatly after each shift operation, but the speed hardly changed. This observation made Qin realize that engine speed and wheel speed are not the same, but can be changed by "gear shift". In order to find out the relationship, he recorded the data of engine speed and speed in different gears in detail, and got off the bus and measured the radius of the wheel. After returning to China, I wrote a small paper through investigation.
After repeated discussions, Qin realized that many problems in life can be solved by mathematical methods. Since then, he has a preference for mathematics. He taught himself calculus, read Newton's philosophy of natural science and many difficult math books.
Before the exam, all the students are busy reviewing, and Qin is also very busy, busy answering the phone of his classmates. Many students will call him if they don't understand science problems. Qin Song and Gong Jie are very supportive of their son to help their classmates. In their view, the process of giving lectures to classmates is also a process of digesting and absorbing knowledge by themselves, and this kind of interactive communication is more conducive to understanding and absorbing knowledge.
The third way of inaction: not seeking results, but seeking results.
In 2006, Qin was admitted to the experimental middle school affiliated to Beijing Normal University with excellent results. Because my home is far from school, I drive Qin to school every morning. When passing through the second ring road and the third ring road, it is often blocked. When everyone was worried about the traffic jam, Qin's mind turned again: "Why is the traffic jam so bad? What went wrong? " When he told his father this idea, his father also brightened up and encouraged him to find the root of the problem. From then on, Qin sat in the car every day to observe, and he found such a rule: traffic jam is often a road section, this road section is blocked, and it can be unblocked for a while at the next road section. So, he continued to ask such a question: "Why is this section of the road very congested, but the other section is not?"
Qin told his parents that he wanted to make a systematic and comprehensive investigation on this problem. This is the most tense stage of high school study. Undoubtedly, such a survey has nothing to do with exams and competitions. However, Qin Song and Gong Jie did not stop their son's investigation and exploration, but firmly supported his idea. Despite their busy work, Qin Song and Gong Jie took turns driving their sons to the Second Ring Road and the Third Ring Road for several consecutive weekends. Qin stood on the overpass and observed it for an hour or two. In case of an important situation, he takes pictures with his camera. Qin Song and Gong Jie are sitting in a nearby McDonald's, waiting for him to read aloud. When the son is thirsty, make a phone call and mom and dad will send the water.
After several field visits, Qin's research on it has made progress. He observed that the traffic jam was related to the insufficient exit of the main road and read a lot of information to solve this problem.
"Yes!" One day, the whole family was having dinner, and Qin had a whim. Qin is very interested in computers. He knows that there is a buffer in the computer, and it takes some time for people to type on the keyboard by hand, but the speed of the computer's central processor is very fast. If all the words, such as the CPU, are lost and other things are dealt with, it will inevitably lead to a decline in efficiency. Therefore, the CPU will temporarily store the information input by the keyboard in the buffer, and then process it after all the characters are input. Therefore, Qin believes that this method in computer can be used for reference. So he came to the conclusion that some similar buffer zones can be set up next to the main road. When there is a traffic jam, some vehicles can wait in the buffer zone first to make the main road clear.
"But how many buffers will be built? Where should I put it? " Qin continued to ask questions. "That's a good question!" Encourage Qin. Because, in view, it is not unusual for Qin to draw previous observations and conclusions. However, it is a great progress that my son can consider the quantity problem. Next, they locked several important sections, and Qin let go of the car and took him to check and measure one by one. Qin collected all the data and successfully wrote a paper with his mathematical knowledge. Soon, Qin found that some traffic jams had begun to be rebuilt, which coincided with his idea. Really happy.
Not long after, Beijing held an applied mathematics competition for middle school students, and Qin's "Assumption about the buffer zone around the city" won the first prize in the competition paper.
By chance, Qin's family learned about the selection of "Tomorrow's Little Scientist". In the end, Qin stood out among the 509 applicants with his research topic and comprehensive quality of "the idea of expressway around the city". He won the first prize in the 8th "Little Scientist of Tomorrow" selection activity jointly organized by the Ministry of Education, China Association for Science and Technology and Hongkong Zhou Kaixuan Foundation, and won the honorary title of "Little Scientist of Tomorrow", and was admitted to Peking University in advance.
The "inaction" of parents has inspired the "promising" of children. Under the guidance of harmonious education, Qin not only aroused curiosity about things, but also formed the spirit of independent exploration.