Parents' methods of educating their children
1 Help children establish good habits
Many parents work hard all their lives just to leave a fortune for their children and protect their lives. But I didn't expect that money, a valuable thing, would be squandered by children sooner or later.
Children who are used to daily luxury can change from frugality to luxury, and from luxury to thrift. Once the high-quality life is disrupted, it will only leave them with degeneration and endless regrets.
Therefore, it is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish, and it is better to give children several good habits than to give them millions of wealth. You know, good habits can change the fate of children and broaden their future life patterns, which is very important for their life growth.
The habit of reading
Reading is very important for children's growth and plays a great role in learning and life experience.
Children have the habit of reading, which will not only greatly increase their writing vocabulary, but also lay a solid foundation for the expansion of knowledge and scope.
If a child is a junior high school student, it is obvious that the number and difficulty of subjects in junior high school are far more than those in primary school. Therefore, children have a wide range of knowledge and it will be much easier to learn.
A habit of suffering hardships
I don't know if parents have this feeling: when we give our children a good material life and learning environment, children often don't cherish and squander.
Such children are selfish and arrogant, unable to sympathize with their parents' hard work, and have no gratitude and filial piety. Therefore, parents should give their children a chance to suffer, let them know that life is not easy, and let them understand that survival is not easy.
The habit of calculation
For the college entrance examination, mathematics has always been a subject that opens the gap. If you want to learn mathematics well, you must first let your children fall in love with calculation and learn to deal with numbers.
In this regard, parents should cultivate their children's computing ability from an early age. They can invite children to calculate the cost when they buy food, or they can let them learn to keep accounts and help them develop the habit of loving calculation.
2 cultivate a good parent-child relationship
People often say, "Money makes the mare go. As long as you have money, you can buy anything. " But I want to say that there is really one thing in the world that money can't buy back, and that is parent-child relationship!
Anyone who has seen "Deformation Meter" knows that children who can be on that program are either rich or expensive. These parents who have a smooth career development have a common heart disease-children are disobedient and parent-child relationship is not good.
These families are glamorous on the surface, but they are fragmented inside. Parents and children will start cursing when they disagree. If you want to talk about education with your children, you have to see if you have a chance to talk. The only way for mom and dad to communicate with their children is to give money, give money, and then give money!
In pedagogy, it is better to establish a good parent-child relationship than to persuade children to study hard. If the atmosphere of a family is harmonious and friendly, the education of children can achieve twice the result with half the effort.
Parents and children have a harmonious relationship, and the education of their children is easy to succeed; The relationship between parents and children is tense, and the education of children is easy to fail. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in identity positioning.
Learn to be a "coach" instead of a "leader"
For children's education, parents always like to pave the way for their children as "experienced people", telling them what to learn and what books to read are useful …
Although the starting point of all this is for the good of children, they have never considered their ideas or asked for their opinions. In the long run, children will be afraid of you, stay away from you and won't talk to you. Naturally, what they say to you goes in one ear and out the other.
On the road of children's growth, they will encounter many problems. At this time, they need someone to give them advice, help them point out problems and then overcome difficulties together. What they need more is a close coach, not a superior leader who demands obedience and obedience.
Learn to be a cheerleader instead of a referee.
The referee on the sports field has been staring at the athletes. Once a foul is found, it will be warned to leave immediately, and it will be handled without mercy. Cheerleading, on the other hand, is always full of energy, cheering for the athletes and bringing them confidence and motivation.
In the process of growing up, children will have many firsts, such as learning to walk for the first time, holding chopsticks for the first time, riding a bike for the first time ... Maybe they will fall down many times in the process of learning and will keep repeating mistakes. At this time, parents must give their children a chance to buffer, and don't say, "Why are you so stupid? I can't learn after a few times. "
Parents' suggestions on educating their children
0 1 children's sophistry-feedback effect
Whenever parents point out their children's mistakes, children always find many reasons to prove their innocence. At this time, parents generally call their children's behavior "sophistry" angrily. In fact, this is not sophistry, but a kind of feedback from children to their parents' education.
Education is a two-way street. Parents should not only teach, but also accept children's feedback, so that education can achieve the most perfect effect. However, many parents are not aware of this. They just "teach" themselves and don't care about their children's information feedback. Such education often fails to achieve the purpose that parents want.
Analyze and respect children's feedback.
When children give feedback on our education, we must first analyze this feedback. Of course, this analysis is not only aimed at children's language, but also includes children's movements and expressions.
However, it is worth parents' attention that children's feedback should be respected regardless of whether it is "sophistry". In the above-mentioned educational cases, when the children tell the reason why "the children in our class say so", the mother yells at the children without analyzing their feedback. Is this a sign of disrespect for children's feedback? Therefore, the mother doesn't know the truth of the child's feedback-she doesn't think "you are so stupid" is a dirty word.
It is conceivable that parents misunderstand and suppress their children's feedback. In the long run, children will never give positive feedback to their mothers' education. Without children's cooperation, parents can't educate their children.
Educate children purposefully according to their feedback.
When analyzing the problems of children's feedback, parents can carry out purposeful education on children's feedback. For example, if children don't know the importance of politeness when giving feedback, parents will never do it again. They can tell their children the importance of being polite through examples and reasons, and guide them to be polite children. If the child's feedback is that he doesn't want to know the responsibility caused by his recent wrong words and deeds, parents should isolate the child and let him become a person who knows his mistakes and corrects them, and dare to do something. ...
In short, no matter what feedback children have on their parents' education, respecting and analyzing children's feedback is the primary prerequisite for achieving educational goals.
04 Family Education Can't Be Inconsistent-Watch Theorem
Psychologists have done an experiment: give a person a watch, and when someone asks him the time, he can tell it quickly and confidently; However, when the man got two different watches, the watchmaker could not know the time quickly. Because two watches can't tell a person a more accurate time, on the contrary, it will make people who look at the watch lose confidence in the accurate time. Psychologists call this phenomenon "watch phenomenon", and draw a conclusion that there can only be one guiding principle or value orientation in doing things. Later, people called this conclusion "Watch Theorem".
The misunderstanding of parents' education of children
First, the expectations for children are too high and the discipline is too strict.
A large part of the "excellent" children who are forced out have mental illness and are easy to resent their parents and society.
Second, don't respect children and make all decisions and choices for them.
This starts when children are very young.
Third, don't trust children and don't give them the opportunity to learn "self-discipline".
When the child closes the door, he always feels that he must be doing something bad inside.
Fourth, don't praise children, so as not to make them proud.
When a child rushed home in high spirits and told his mother that he had been praised by the teacher, her mother said that praise would cock his tail. Look how dirty your clothes are!
5. I like horizontal comparison, and what I say most is "look at XXX"
It can be said that this is a common problem of all parents.