? I often regret some choices, for example, my mother didn't fulfill her filial piety when she was alive; My father was tortured by chronic diseases all the year round, regretting that the university did not choose to study medicine, but there was nothing he could do when he was seriously ill; Regret that I graduated from college and didn't get into a graduate school of a famous university, and regret that I didn't study for a doctorate; I regret not going to the north, Guangzhou and Shenzhen, and I regret not engaging in work related to my major.
When life is not satisfactory, I always think about these choices, and I have frankly asked myself: if life has a chance to start over, will it be better? Close your eyes, be quiet, feel with your heart, imagine yourself going back to the past, and your cognition will follow, and then the answer will come out.
? In that case, even if I knew, I would still make that choice. What makes us choose is everyone's cognitive system. Some time ago, I was watching Zuo Luo's new media "Learn to Write", and mentioned in the section "How to build the stability of the writing system" that "we often regret some choices we made, and regret is useless. Why? Because even if you have a chance to go back in time, you will probably make the same choice. It seems that you just made a choice at that time, but that choice was actually based on your past cognition, experience and judgment. This is the meaning of system capability. " This sentence resonated with me greatly. What we think, say and do can't jump out of our cognitive system.
Teacher Shu Yuan Zhang Xueyan, who specializes in family education, also stressed that children should be equipped with software such as self-confidence, self-reliance, self-improvement and responsibility to form an endogenous system, so that children can have a better future through positive affirmation. Indeed, for example, when eating, a small partner saw his favorite dish and picked up the dish and pulled more than half of it into his bowl. He didn't feel anything wrong at all. It is estimated that many people will whisper, "I really don't have a tutor." Tutoring is the software installed by family education for children. The installed software is constantly upgraded and optimized in the process of growth, and the output result is naturally good. If you install bad software and don't correct it in time, the output result is what others call "no tutor"
Character determines fate, attitude determines height, and thinking determines pattern. Personality, attitude and thinking all belong to the category of cognitive system. Cognitive system guides people to make choices, which are interpreted as life experiences, and all life experiences are combined to form life.
Some people say that parents, brothers and sisters can't choose the environment in which they grew up, and it is these "impossible choices" that lead to their mediocre life. Indeed, he can't choose from his family background, but he can choose his own life. Because God has given mankind a lot of freedom, let us learn from the self-improvement of heaven and the goodness of the earth. This degree of freedom means that we can optimize and upgrade our cognitive system through continuous study, practice and cultivation, so as to achieve "no hesitation before choosing and no regret after choosing" at every critical moment of life.
Schwartz in psychology came to the conclusion that all bad things will really become unfortunate events only if we think they are bad things. This is in line with the statement in the Tao Te Ching that "disaster is a blessing; Happiness, disaster "is similar. No matter what the cause is, as long as we are grateful, there will be a force to guide us to find the right direction, to correct and optimize our cognitive system, and life will be able to jump out of all kinds of limitations and have unlimited possibilities.
"Tao can be Tao, but it is not constant." Everyone can tell a certain truth from his own cognitive angle, but it is not the whole of Tao. Upgrading and optimizing the personal cognitive system is a way to make us closer to the whole through continuous iterative updating, that is, to understand the truth of the world and master the laws of the world. If you have a cognitive system close to the Tao, you don't have to be afraid to make the wrong choice.
How can we have a powerful cognitive system? Love and gratitude are the most dynamic emotions, and they are the great motive force for internal seeking; Modesty is the only one in the sixty-four hexagrams of the Book of Changes that is not fierce, and it is the best attitude to take it from outside. From the inside out, "See the sage Si Qi, but you will be introspective if you don't see the sage", "I will save myself every day", "Learning is getting worse every day, and listening to the Tao is getting worse every day", reading more and thinking more, and drawing nutrition from the sages at home and abroad in history. Every day, we are harvesting, progressing and growing, and our cognitive system will be constantly optimized and upgraded. When we meet all the beautiful things, it will come naturally.
? If life is unchangeable and unsatisfied, should we consider optimizing and upgrading our cognitive system? Is your cognitive system optimized today? The beauty of tomorrow is waiting for you to choose.