Educating children is a very meticulous work, so we must master the sense of proportion, otherwise it will not only fail to achieve the expected results, but also adversely affect the growth of children. To master the sense of proportion means to pay attention to the scientific and artistic nature of education, and not to indulge and criticize too much at will.

Love should be moderate. Parents love their children, which is beyond reproach and the wind of inheritance. But if you spoil your child too much, you will indulge and even obey unreasonable demands. As described in the cartoon, if a child wants a moon, he must be picked by heaven. This is not loving children, but actually hurting them. In the long run, it will not only make children more and more disobedient, but also destroy their will, cultivate their selfish concept of "taking me as the center" and "parents serving me", and cause various defects in their personality, such as willfulness, stubbornness, emotional fragility, poor self-control, strong dependence, lack of sympathy and responsibility. At the same time, the prestige of parents will also be reduced, and children will not get the respect they deserve.

Be strict and appropriate. Educating children should not be too harsh. If the child's shortcomings are exaggerated, small mistakes are too costly, demanding everywhere, and even interfere with some normal and childish naughty behaviors, then the child's immature nervous system will have an instinctive protective response to these excessive and overloaded stimuli, resulting in rebellious psychology, thus casting a shadow of inferiority and timidity on the child's young mind, becoming more stubborn, or becoming depressed, cautious and lonely.

Look forward to it. It is the common wish of parents all over the world to hope for success, but this expectation must conform to the law of children's physical and mental development. The formation of children's intelligence and morality has its own development law. Nowadays, young parents often pin all their hopes on their children because they only have one child, and expect too much from them. This will cause great mental stress to children and make their self-efforts very difficult, thus dampening their enterprising spirit and interest in learning and causing psychological obstacles to their future study and enterprising. Moreover, if the requirements are too high and too urgent, it will exceed the child's tolerance, and it will often be in a state of tension, leading to brain dysfunction and inhibiting intellectual development. As the saying goes, "haste makes waste" is the truth. Of course, if the expectations and requirements for children are too low, even parents will implement the "three guarantees" for everything, which is not conducive to the formation of children's personality, morality and behavior habits in the future. When such children grow up, the metropolis lacks self-confidence and is even lazy about their work.

In addition to being appropriate, the expectations and requirements for children should be consistent. Father, mother, grandfather and grandmother have different expectations for their children due to their different experiences and occupations, which often leads to conflicts in educational methods and means, leaving children at a loss. Therefore, on the issue of educating children, family members should be consistent in their big goals and general direction, and education should focus on mothers, with others actively cooperating and assisting.

In addition, expectations must be put into action. Sampling survey shows that most parents have good expectations for their children, but they are cheating when they put them into practice. For example, in cultivating children's independent living habits, almost 100% of parents say that they don't spoil their children, but in fact, there are many parents who spoil their children.

Praise and criticism should be timely and reasonable. Praise is a child's skill. With achievements and progress, without praise, children will gradually lose the motivation and interest to try again, and the existing progress is difficult to consolidate. However, too much praise easily leads to children's vanity and jealousy, which leads to children's unbearable failure and reduced tolerance for setbacks. Too much or untimely criticism of children will shake children's self-esteem and self-confidence, and form inferiority and retreat. Makarenko, a Soviet educator, once pointed out: "Excessive stubbornness is due to children's natural resistance to parents' autocracy, which is often manifested as abuse of authority, excessive intimacy, excessive severity, excessive pampering, excessive impatience, and excessive blindness ..." Every parent, especially young parents, should understand this truth and master "discretion" when educating children.

How to educate children in the right way?

1. Give children some privacy.

2. Give children the opportunity and right to choose.

3. Let children choose their partners and friends freely.

4. Let children do what they want to do.

Let the child do some housework within his power, such as washing clothes, boiling water and cooking, so that he can realize that he is a member of the family.

6. Prepare a display stand for children to show their products on.

7. Take seriously the serious questions and opinions raised by children.

8. Treat children as adults, get along with them as equals, and treat children as friends.

9. Discover children's small progress in time and know how to appreciate children.

10. Remember to say to your child: I love you, you are my baby!

1 1. Remember to kiss your child often, hug him (her), touch his (her) head and let him (her) know your love!

12. Keep an eye on his/her progress and let him/her know his/her progress! Discover the child's small progress in time and appreciate the child.

On the other hand, parents attach great importance to the cultivation of children's intelligence, but ignore the cultivation of non-intellectual factors such as will, perseverance, personality and interest. Some parents even deprive their children of the right to play and have fun. Others spoil their children too much, fearing that they will be wronged a little, so that they will be isolated from all "bitterness" and "toil". Even in very poor families, children will become "people who get rich first". This kind of care and arrangement in life is excessive and requires too much intelligence. The "over-education" that restricts interference in office activities has resulted in children's strong dependence, lack of sense of responsibility and patience, and weak will.