The difference between the eldest brother and the second brother is six years. When the second child was born, the boss was in the kindergarten class. The addition of new members of the family attracted everyone's attention. Grandma, dad and mom all paid attention to their younger sister. The boss often complains: my memory begins with having a younger sister ... before the arrival of the third child, our family often staged such a picture: the second child cried and went to complain to his grandmother. Grandma cursed the boss. Then the boss is full of grievances and stinks.
I don't know how other people's families live every day. I'm fed up with such noisy days. Children who look at other people's homes are brothers, friends and brothers outside, while our children sometimes have to look at each other's eyes when they go out. The second child will look at me piteously, and the boss will disdain to pretend and write all his emotions on his face. This is definitely my own. I've been like this since I was a kid. The second child is smart, smart in front of us, or arrogant in front of his sister. I know the situation clearly, but I don't know how to deal with their relationship.
I often wonder, is it so difficult for a family to live in harmony? Everything must win or lose. Have fun? I blindly asked my sister to tolerate her unreasonable troubles, but I didn't take into account the boss's grievances. On the contrary, my practice may have indulged my sister in being more unreasonable, and it will also breed practical jokes on my sister.
Until, I bought this book "How to say, children can live in peace" on the recommendation of Sister Yun. If you are a family with many children like me, I suggest buying one at home. Usually guide words and deeds at home.
If you have been as worried as I am about why children always don't get along well, then you must do the following questions to understand where the problem of children's inferiority comes from.
Prepare a pen and a notebook. Record the reaction of each picture.
1. Imagine that your husband (wife) puts his hand next to you and says, "Dear, I love you so much. You are really a lovely person. I decided to find another wife (husband) like you. "
Your reaction:
When your husband's new wife (husband) finally comes to your house, what you see is that she (he) is very young and quite beautiful and cute (handsome and humorous). When you three go out together, people will greet you politely, but when they see the new woman (man), they exclaim excitedly, "She (he) is so beautiful (handsome) that it makes people crazy!" Hey, baby ... you're so cute! "Then, they will turn to you and ask you," What do you think of your new wife (sir)? ""
Your reaction:
The newly married wife (husband) needs clothes. Your husband (wife) went to your closet and gave her some sweaters and pants. You protested, but he (she) said that your clothes were too tight because you were fatter than before, so it was suitable for her (him).
Your reaction:
Newly-married wife (husband) will soon get familiar with it. Every day, she (he) seems to become smarter, more beautiful and more powerful. One afternoon, while you were trying to figure out the system description of the new computer your husband (wife) bought for you, she (he) rushed into the room and said, "Oh, can I use it?" I know how to do. "
Your reaction:
When you told her (him) not to let her (him) use it, she (he) ran to your husband (wife) and cried. After a while, she (he) came to see you with your husband (wife), with tears on her face. Your husband (wife) holds her (him) and says to you, "What's wrong with letting her (him) use it?" Do you have any losses? Why not share it with others? "
Your reaction:
This question touched me the most. This picture often appears in my house, and I am the husband who is holding a penis that makes the boss feel hateful and talking nonsense. The so-called empathy, I really stand in the position of the boss to consider it? There are no facts. I have grown from a child to an adult myself, but I have forgotten how I felt when I was a child. Rather than forgetting, it is a problem of not treating children with care. )
6. One day, you found your husband (wife) lying in bed with his new wife (husband). The husband (wife) kept scratching her (him) while she (he) giggled. Suddenly, the phone remembered that the husband (wife) picked up the phone. Later, he (she) told you that something important had happened. He (she) must go out at once and ask you to stay at home with your new wife (husband) to make sure that she is all right.
Your reaction:
(This picture is also deja vu. We always think that it is natural for our sister to take care of our younger brothers and sisters, but we ignore the feeling that we are the boss. Instead of ignoring it, I never thought she would have her own feelings. )
Do you feel that you don't have any love when you do this? What you feel now is what the boss has been experiencing. Do you really want to hug her (him)? !
As adults, we have adult thoughts and considerations. We have never discussed with our boss about having a second or third child. Because we didn't have this kind of treatment when we were young, we could only passively accept our younger brother or sister and then take care of him or her. This is what we were taught when we were young. That's how we educate our children now.
I always thought my parents wanted a bowl of water. The boss has it, and the second and third children should also have it. Prepare three copies of everything. If there are no three copies, the big one must make way for the small one. I think it's a bit unfair to be a boss.
After reading this book, I understand that children don't need equal treatment, they need unique and exclusive treatment.
The vast sea of people, you are my only "you".
I'll share this book here first. I haven't finished reading it. For the following, listen to the next chapter.
The third child joined our family last summer. The eldest is ten years older than him, and the second is four years older than him. The boss will fight with the second child, but he loves the third child very much. When the third child is easy to hug, the boss often helps us take care of the third child. It's a little embarrassing to have your dick in the middle. The third child was not born, so my sister had to let her go Now that you have a younger brother, you must learn to adapt to the new role and let your younger brother eat first and play first. The third child can walk now. He runs around with the second child every day. One second they were fighting for a toy, and the third one broke the toy because of recklessness, which made the second one cry. The next second, they will play hide-and-seek at home and have a good time. When the boss is in a good mood, he will take his second child to read picture books together. I feel that this home is very harmonious, warm and loving!
Keep growing, keep practicing and become the person I want to be!