Ms. Yang, a parent of a middle school student in Shunyi, said that some time ago, her son accidentally broke his leg while playing football, and he was going to school after resting at home for a while. She thinks her son is studying in a boarding school. Because my leg injury has not been completely cured, I may need the help of my classmates to go back to school. So she brought her son a lot of food and asked him to go to the dormitory to share it with his classmates. After a week, my son came back from school and told her that he had eaten all the food. "Then why don't you divide your classmates?" She asked. The son said, "My classmates help me and I will give him money." She was surprised and said, "How could you?" The child said, "If I don't give him money, he will help me. He helped me. If I give him money, he will accept it. "
Compared with the children's "light wind and light clouds" in this matter, parents' mood is more complicated, even a little confused and at a loss, but they are not as exclusive as before, and their views are polarized. Parents who accept this kind of thing think that times are different now. Such a child has a business mind and is worth encouraging. Just don't make huge profits. But at the same time, it also needs guidance, such as using the money earned to buy books for the class and enrich the book corner; Buy fruit for grandparents and honor the elderly; Or donate it to out-of-school children. Parents who don't accept it think that the current social atmosphere is broken, and even children are "mercenary." "When I was a child, we all had an innocent and unpretentious childlike innocence. Students are United and friendly and help each other. If you can be praised by the teacher for helping your classmates, your heart will be sweeter than eating honey. Now, life is good, but people's hearts have changed, and even the purest childlike innocence has changed. " Some parents said this.
Zhang Xuling, an expert from the research group of "Three Wide Parents Education" in Peking University, thinks:
For the mutual help between classmates, some children think that money can solve it, and it is best not to involve emotions. The relationship between mutual debts is simpler. What some children do makes parents feel incredible, but it is also the result of social development. When the Internet brings more spiritual satisfaction to people, in a society where everything does not depend on relationships, and in a society where money can buy more and more things, the alienation between people is also inevitable.
However, no matter how the society changes, friendship and good interpersonal relationships still directly affect a person's happiness. Therefore, Teacher Zhang Xuling suggested that all mutual help should not be paid by money. To help others for free is to agree with each other's value and pay voluntarily. Both sides will have a sense of value. If they pay, their sense of value will be lost and they will become paid labor.
Then, what is the reasonable charge for the help between classmates? It mainly depends on children's views on money. As long as both sides feel fair, they still need to maintain some friendships other than money.
Teacher Zhang Xuling said that money education has always been a difficult point in family education, because they only have a bottom line, that is, there are standards for what you can't do, such as obeying the law. There are mainstream standards for what can be done, but there is no absolutely correct standard. The mainstream view of money is related to social and cultural background, family education and the background of the times. Therefore, today's children may have different views on money from their parents, and they may be more influenced by their classmates in dealing with the relationship between money and classmates.
The education of family money view is a subtle process, and it is also the direct transmission of parents' money view, so there is no need to educate it deliberately. When children are found to be quite different from their parents in dealing with problems, we need to grasp several points: first, we must not violate laws and ethics, such as stealing from others, not paying back money after receiving it, not paying back money after borrowing it, blackmailing others and so on. Second, the principle of relative fairness, you can't take advantage of people's danger. Third, there is no charge for helping disadvantaged students, such as helping sick students to do something.
Children's concept of money has not yet been fully formed, and their social cognition level is insufficient. Parents need to help their children define the boundaries of behavior: obeying the law and being kind.
For some parents, children who can make money are not necessarily high in financial quotient. Financial quotient refers to the ability to create and manage wealth, including money concept, wealth knowledge, earning ability and so on. And "love of money" is a kind of value that puts money in an important position, so "love of money" does not mean "high financial quotient"