Sometimes, do you think your children are particularly playful? Watching TV, playing games and playing mobile phones are still dawdling after the prescribed time, always wanting to play for a few more minutes?

Parents' guidance is very important for children to have a happy childhood, develop physically and mentally harmoniously, and grasp the scale of study and leisure. Some parents ask their children to concentrate on their homework while playing mahjong at home. How can such an approach achieve good educational results?

Many parents scold their children's mantra: "Just play, don't hurry to learn!" ""children play too hard and won't succeed. "On the contrary, if children are busy reading, counting or learning piano, chess, calligraphy and painting since childhood, parents will feel great satisfaction and even become a topic to show off to others. Obviously, these parents are unconsciously caught in a misunderstanding.

Playing is a child's right and a child's nature.

The process of children's growth is a process from natural person or biological person to social person, that is, a process of continuous socialization. In the process of children's socialization, there is a basic need, that is, the need for learning. But what is learning for children, especially young children? After careful observation, it is not difficult to find that children's initial learning style can be summarized in almost one word, that is, "play". They play mud, water, toys, all kinds of things that can be touched, small animals, all kinds of games, and feel the fun of exploration. In the unrestrained play, children not only enrich the sense of touch, hearing, sight and taste, but also accumulate valuable experience, learn to learn, and cultivate a healthy body and mind. Isn't this the most important thing for young children?

Games are the first driving force for children's development. For example, games can help children get rid of the tendency of self-centeredness and understand the thoughts and feelings of others well, which is the basis for the development of various social abilities such as conflict resolution and learning to cooperate. For children, life begins with games.

Playing is a child's right and a child's nature. If children are not allowed to play, it is cruel and deprives them of their legal rights. And it is difficult for parents to completely control their children's play.

However, some parents not only often restrict their children to play, but also always base the meaning of play on learning, even if they allow their children to play. When they think that a certain "game" is beneficial to learning, they allow children to play; When they think that an activity is not conducive to learning, they limit their children's choices on the grounds of "affecting learning". Therefore, under the guidance of this concept, children's pure recreational activities, such as watching TV and playing electronic games, are strictly prohibited, while activities such as reading, learning computer and playing the piano are encouraged and supported by parents because they are considered to be beneficial to their body and mind. In the eyes of adults, such activities are "conducive to learning".

In the opinion of some parents, all activities that are not conducive to children's grades, whether children like it or not, should be banned. On the contrary, it is considered to be worth promoting. This practice itself violates children's right to rest and the right to freely choose cultural activities.

Some "play" really doesn't help students directly, so parents won't let their children play? Some parents worry that their children are too playful. If it is not strictly controlled, isn't it lawless? He can play whatever he wants. How come?

Of course not. Playing is a child's nature, and of course it is also a right that children can't ignore. When parents treat their children's play, their main responsibility is not to restrain and discipline, but to guide and help.

As an educational researcher, my principle is: it doesn't matter if children have fun, but also encourage them to have fun. However, we must master the correct principle of balance.

This article is taken from Sun Yunxiao's book "Learning Ability 12 Cleverly Awakening Children's Potential".

Sun Yunxiao

Chief expert and researcher of family education in China Youth Research Center.

Vice Chairman of Family Education Steering Committee of Ministry of Education

Distinguished professor, Capital Normal University