Washington, the father of American literature, once said, "Let children feel that family is the happiest place in the world. This is a wise way for educated adults in the past. This beautiful family, in my opinion, is as precious as the most exquisite gift that adults give their children. " Parents are children's first teachers. Good behavior, correct educational methods and harmonious family atmosphere are very important for children's psychological growth. However, the current reality is just the opposite. A large number of surveys show that the lack of family education has become a key factor leading to problem teenagers. With the development of society, family education in China has become a weak link in education. Present situation: One of the misunderstandings of China's family education: emphasizing autocracy and neglecting letting go. According to experts from Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences, more than 800 parents in Beijing/KLOC-0 have been followed up in recent three years. The results show that two-thirds of families have the problem of improper parenting. According to the survey, as many as 30% families interfere excessively with their children. If overprotection is arranged instead, then excessive intervention is to limit children's words and deeds, draw a frame and set a tone. Children should act according to their parents' understanding and wishes, and should not go beyond their parents' instructions, so that children lack critical thinking, have no opinions, and listen to others' suggestions. Children dare not go beyond their parents' understanding and limit their own thinking, so that children rarely have divergent thinking, thinking is imprisoned and there is no gas field, which not only affects their creativity now, but also has a bad impact on their future work and life. Myth 2: Pay more attention to intellectual education than moral education. Family is the earliest contact point between children and the world and the beginning of all education. Family education is the education of children in the most plastic period. People often take the moral character, personality and behavior habits developed in this period into the grave, which can be described as "a small man has a ambition, but a nature cannot change." However, at present, in some families, young parents are busy with their careers, lack enough time to educate their children, or simply do not master scientific and correct educational methods, which leads to the deviation of family education. The Beijing Academy of Educational Sciences has investigated the educational situation of more than 3,000 families. One of them lists 17' s quality education content (including moral, intellectual, physical and aesthetic aspects), so that parents can choose the education content they think is most needed. The statistical results show that the top three are intellectual education, learning methods and learning habits, while the selection rate of important moral education contents such as "patriotic education" and "socialist education" does not exceed 60%. Myth 3: Pay more attention to material than spirit. Nowadays, with the continuous improvement of living standards, many parents have suffered in their childhood. In the generation of children, they don't want their children to suffer any more. Therefore, there is nothing that children can't think of and parents can't buy to show their concern and love for their children. However, it is not enough to pay attention to children's basic necessities, but also to their inner world and the construction of their spiritual home. However, some parents still don't realize that doting causes children's personality defects, excessive mental stress and heavy mental burden. All their ideals and hopes are pinned on him alone, hoping that their children can make a difference, and the pressure on children is heavier than ever. Don't fail, limit emotional catharsis, and cause emotional disorders in children. Paying more attention to material than spirit will not only cultivate children's "jiao" and "arrogance", but also cause a heavy burden on children's minds, which is not conducive to their healthy growth, or even counterproductive. Reflection: Exploring the Art of Family Education in China As we all know, most families now have only one child. Parents will inevitably put pressure on their children because they want their children to develop well. At the same time, they will put pressure on their children and regard their high expectations as the driving force for their development. But sometimes it backfires. What can parents do to decompress themselves and their children? The author believes that parents should pay attention to art and pursue change in the education of their children. Change "listening" to "seeing" and bring the parent-child relationship closer. In the past, parents asked their children about their studies, and the average child replied "not bad" and "the teacher said that there was progress". Parents often trust their children too much because of busy work or other reasons, but after a while, they find that it is not the case at all. In order to truly understand the children's situation, parents may wish to change "listening" to "watching", and take a week or a cycle to spot-check the children's homework, exercise books, teacher comments and so on. "Hearing is empty, seeing is believing", which is much more reliable than children's "one-sided words". At the same time, parents should also chat with their children more and communicate with them more. Some problems are relatively easy to deal with, instead of waiting for problems to remind themselves of their incomprehension. To change "grievance" into "understanding", parents should treat their high expectations rationally. Parents work hard for the growth of their children and do everything possible for their education. Children can do nothing but study, but if children fail to meet their parents' expectations or meet them but are not ideal, parents will feel wronged and will work hard for their children, but children will let themselves down. In the process of parents' disappointment, it often brings trouble and pressure to children. At the same time, parents' high expectations of their children often lead to some doubts and interference in their learning behavior, such as telling children that they should recite texts like this and write homework like that. If the effect is not ideal, parents will inevitably hate iron for their children. This kind of negative emotion will make parents and children unable to communicate and cooperate tacitly, which will have unnecessary influence on children's normal study. When children can't meet their high expectations, parents should treat them rationally, decompress themselves and properly guide their children to approach their expectations. Turn "requirements" into "appreciation" and turn high expectations into positive factors. Learn to appreciate children. When parents see that their children can make obvious progress and improvement in their behavior habits and academic performance under their own education, then the evaluation of their children will be quite good. At this time, parents should tell their children about their progress and growth. With this foundation, children will have more confidence in themselves, parents will feel that their performance is in harmony with their expectations, and their trust in children will increase. Only in this way can a good foundation of parent-child communication be formed. Parents' high expectations have also become positive factors. In the process of communicating with children, parents should think and look at his current problems from the perspective of children as much as possible, so as to deepen mutual understanding. If this is done, parents' expectations can be more rational and realistic, and parent-child relationship can be communicated more effectively.