This is related to the history of our country, our culture and our inheritance. Looking forward to your son becoming a dragon and your daughter becoming a phoenix, this has a historical origin.
Meng Mu's "Three Major Movements" is a good example. If Meng Mu hadn't done this, Mencius might have been a street child or a vendor who worked hard for a few silver coins.
Noble families in past dynasties also placed high hopes on their children. First, they want to upgrade their families or remain unbeaten. Second, they want to expand their sphere of influence. Third, they can match or enter the threshold of other families and suit each other.
Parents of ordinary families, because of the environment, class, personal ability or cognitive ability, are unwilling to live a hard life, work hard, let their children go back to the old road, and let their children have a better future. They would rather be a little bit bitter and tired, support their children to study, pin their hopes on their children, and hope that their children can get ahead and change their own or their family's destiny.
Especially now, the standard to measure a person or a family is not judged by ability, level, accomplishment, education and quality, but more by who has more wealth, who can get more resources and who can speak boldly and confidently on the basis of wealth. The weak at the bottom are also eager to change their destiny
At least hard-working parents are not afraid of hard work and actively strive for a level of progress. As long as the method is proper, even if they pin their hopes on their children, it is understandable.
Wealth is the key to happiness. How to educate children about money is related to their life's happiness. As parents, they can get educational inspiration and motivation from books.
One is psychological compensation. People often unconsciously put what they don't get or lose on others to achieve psychological balance.
When parents educate their children, they often transfer their unrealized dreams as children to the next generation, hoping that their children will make up for their shortcomings in life instead of themselves.
The second is herd mentality. Influenced by the people around us and the environment, people will conform to the public opinion or the behavior of most people, which is what we often call "following the crowd."
Influenced by traditional culture, parents in China generally have high expectations for their children, thus forming a sense of community.
In order to keep in line with the group consciousness, many parents consciously or unconsciously have the idea of "looking forward to the success of their children and their daughters".
The third is the psychology of comparison. That is to improve one's self-esteem and self-confidence by comparing with others. After having children, "being better than children" has become a common topic for parents.
Many parents expect their children to be excellent in all aspects in order to satisfy their vanity. Once their children are inferior to others' children, they will feel ashamed.
Although these three kinds of psychology have different motives, they all reflect that parents' expectations are mostly self-centered, only considering their own thoughts and wishes, while ignoring their children's thoughts, personality characteristics and growth environment. The correct educational concept should be child-centered and treat children as an independent individual.
In fact, children have unique talents and abilities, independent thoughts and behaviors, and their personality should be respected. Parents' expectations of their children should start from the children themselves and consider their own characteristics and actual needs.
At the same time, the negative impact of high expectations for children can not be ignored.
Excessive expectations can easily bring all kinds of psychological troubles to children, such as anxiety and guilt because they can't meet their parents' wishes. Due to their own lack of ability, resulting in loss of self-confidence and decline in learning motivation; Because of dissatisfaction with parents' high expectations, children have a psychological confrontation and rebellion, which affects the parent-child relationship.
The society is full of jobs that need knowledge to fill, in contrast, there are very few people with knowledge.
You don't even need to have a prestigious school degree. A technical secondary school diploma is enough for rural children to eat national food. I remember when I was in junior high school, the head teacher was the best teacher transferred from a township. His proudest achievement was that 15 people in his class were admitted to the secondary school last year. This means that with his efforts, 15 people got rid of agricultural labor permanently and took up the iron rice bowl in the city.
As for those who can go to college, they occupy the top of the food chain and are really favored. Even if the state does not guarantee distribution later, with the continuous expansion of reform and opening up, the entry of foreign capital and the development of private economy, college students still show considerable value.
Our parents are witnesses to this historical process.
That difference is unforgettable for them, just like the steel seal in the depths of the soul. Admission, not admission, fate is very different. They waste and delay themselves for various reasons, but they never want the same thing to happen to their children.
Therefore, I am not completely critical of the "ambitious" mentality of the previous generation. However, it is impossible for parents with a little sense of responsibility not to care about their children's academic performance.
It's just that "knowledge changes fate" has a completely different meaning today.
It's just that "knowledge changes fate" has a completely different meaning today. Nowadays, there are too few good jobs and too many so-called college students.
It's hard to say how much a college graduate can change his fate than a high school graduate. How much more fluidity does the second edition have in the market than the specialized subject?
Education plays an increasingly weak role in changing your destiny. Unless you can keep rolling in and climbing, it belongs to a small number of people after all.
The middle-income trap, like an iron wall, is there, and only a few people are destined to reach the height of "changing their destiny".
The time and space environment in which our parents live is so different from ours. This is also a lot of misunderstandings and tragedies.