In the end, children will be trained to be cast aside. It is such a beautiful emotion as "love". Once we overdo it, it will also do harm to the child's life. It is natural for a mother to love her children, but doting on them is hurting them. Our self-righteous love is destroying our children step by step.
As parents, mothers must pay attention to what they insist on in daily life and know what is good for their children's future growth and what is harmful to their children's growth. This is a harmful thing. We insist on not doing it. We can't give up our bottom line because of children's crying and pain. We are still doing it, knowing that it is not good for children's growth.
Children's nature is perfect and pure. "Failure" is manifested as willfulness and selfishness. When encountering difficulties, they retreat, can't take responsibility, and become a black sheep. We don't want our children to become "losers", but a little carelessness may encourage them to become "losers". Parents dare to relax, and children dare to indulge.
Strict father is a dutiful son. We advocate that fathers have dignity, that there is a bottom line for doing things, that children's demands can be obtained, and that the final bottom line lies with fathers. The average mother will say: let's see if your father will let you, and see if your father will beat you. In that case. The gentle majesty of the father makes the child feel that his father is a "checkpoint". If his father agrees, it may be right. If his father objects, it can't be done any more.
It may be wrong. In this way, strict father's image is firmly established in children's minds. Children will follow their father's example in their future work. Children will naturally respect their fathers. However, we do not advocate that fathers are too strict, which is beyond the tolerance of children. Father's excessive harshness will become compulsive, rude, bossy and self-centered.
Under this kind of oppression, children will inevitably resist. If you have a little ability, you will rebel, even hate your father, make excessive behavior, and become "rebellious."
Educating children is an art. We need a loving mother, strict father, but we don't advocate doting and tyrants. I hope our parents will learn more from them and train their children to be "dutiful sons" and "virtuous sons".
Extended data
Method 1: Respect children's "sophistry"-feedback effect
Whenever parents point out their children's mistakes, children always find many reasons to prove their innocence. At this time, parents generally call their children's behavior "sophistry" angrily. In fact, this is not sophistry, but a kind of feedback from children to their parents' education.
Education is a two-way street. Parents should not only teach, but also accept children's feedback, so that education can achieve the most perfect effect. However, many parents are not aware of this. They just "teach" themselves and don't care about their children's information feedback. Such education often fails to achieve the purpose that parents want.
Method 2: Analyze and respect children's feedback.
When children give feedback on our education, we must first analyze this feedback. Of course, this analysis is not only aimed at children's language, but also includes children's movements and expressions.
However, it is worth parents' attention that children's feedback should be respected regardless of whether it is "sophistry". In the above-mentioned educational cases, when the children tell the reason why "the children in our class say so", the mother yells at the children without analyzing their feedback. Is this a sign of disrespect for children's feedback? Therefore, the mother doesn't know that the feedback from the child is really good-she doesn't think "you are so stupid" is a dirty word.
It is conceivable that parents misunderstand and suppress their children's feedback. In the long run, children will never give positive feedback to their mothers' education. Without children's cooperation, parents can't educate their children.
Method 3: Educate children purposefully according to their feedback.
When analyzing the problems of children's feedback, parents can carry out purposeful education on children's feedback. For example, if children don't know the importance of politeness when giving feedback, parents will never do it again. They can tell their children the importance of being polite through examples and reasons, and guide them to be polite children.
If the child's feedback is that he doesn't want to know the responsibility caused by the recent wrong words and deeds, parents should encourage the child to be a person who knows his mistakes and corrects them.
In short, no matter what feedback children have on their parents' education, respecting and analyzing children's feedback is the primary prerequisite for achieving educational goals.
Method 4: Family education should not be inconsistent-Watch Theorem
Psychologists have done an experiment: give a person a watch, and when someone asks him the time, he can tell it quickly and confidently; However, when the man got two different watches, the watchmaker could not know the time quickly. Because two watches can't tell a person a more accurate time, on the contrary, it will make people who look at the watch lose confidence in the accurate time.
Psychologists call this phenomenon "watch phenomenon", and draw a conclusion that there can only be one guiding principle or value orientation in doing things. Later, people called this conclusion "Watch Theorem".