First, the significance of parental rearing patterns for children's social development
Childhood is an important period for children's social development. Children's experiences and experiences in this period, as well as their social development on this basis, will affect their lives. Whether they can adapt to the society, handle all kinds of interpersonal relationships and shoulder their due social responsibilities in the future depends largely on their life experience and education during this period. Parental rearing patterns reflect parents' attitudes towards their children and their educational concepts.
Parenting style: Parents influence their children's psychological development through parenting activities.
Children's sociality: in the process of interaction with the social environment, children master social norms, form social skills, learn the role of social education, acquire social needs, attitudes and values, develop social behaviors, interact with people with unique social personality, interact with each other, adapt to the surrounding environment, and develop from natural people to social people.
Second, the influence of different family education methods on children's development
Different parenting attitudes and educational methods have different effects on children's social development in the future. Good family education is beneficial to children's social development, while bad family education hinders children's social development to some extent.
1. metamorphic type
Some parents love their children too much, and doting is the most common wrong way of family education. The attitude of doting parents towards their children is "afraid of falling into their hands and melting into their mouths", which interferes too much with their children and limits their thoughts and activities. Therefore, children are often timid, and their living ability and learning ability are not very good, and they lack interest in things.
Makarenko, a famous educator in the former Soviet Union, said: If parents don't love their children enough, they will feel pain, but if they spoil them too much, even though this is a great emotion, they will be destroyed. Obey the children, let the children have the final say, and do not stop some unreasonable demands and behaviors. Children have been in such an uncompromising core position for many years that mistakes cannot be corrected. Unreasonable desires are often met with unprincipled connivance, thus making children develop willful and unreasonable character and strengthening self-centered consciousness. Children who grow up in this way have poor self-control, often seek satisfaction at that time by crying, lack self-confidence, perseverance and sense of responsibility, are impulsive and aggressive, and do not consider other people's feelings.
2. Authoritarian type
Autocratic education is also a highly controlled educational model. Autocratic parents often show a lack of enthusiasm and negative emotional response to young children, and rarely consider their wishes and requirements. Parents will unconditionally ask their children to abide by their own rules, express dissatisfaction with their violations of the rules, and even take severe punishment measures. Autocratic parents require their children to obey themselves absolutely, and their freedom is limited. Parents want their children to grow up according to their own development blueprint, and they want to pay attention to all their behaviors, protect and supervise their behaviors. Parents adopt an authoritarian parenting style, and often interfere and protect their children too much, thus limiting the development of children's self-awareness and self-education ability to a certain extent and failing to achieve the expected educational purpose. Children who grow up in this educational environment are often prone to inferiority, dependence, obedience, cowardice and lack of initiative in doing things. Lacking the care and warmth of their parents, children don't know how to express their feelings and thoughts properly. In the long run, they will be alienated from their parents and have rebellious psychology.
3, laissez-faire type
Pampering family education, like parents with authoritative education, is full of positive feelings for children, but lacks control. Explain that parents don't care about their children, don't ask them, and refuse to respond to their needs in time, let alone give them emotional support. They seldom communicate with their children, lack discipline and let themselves go. This type of children tend to be impulsive, aggressive, self-centered, and have a tendency of indifference, rebellion, aggression, inferiority, weak self-control and poor independence. In the process of interacting with people, I seldom think of others and lack enthusiasm and concern for people. This indulgent family education is beneficial to the development of children's social adaptability to a certain extent. However, due to parents' lack of basic attention to their children, there is little communication between parents and children. In the long run, it will easily lead to emotional alienation between parents and children and family estrangement.
4. Types of democracy
Democratic parents don't beat and scold their children at will, but analyze and guide their children's behavior. They take more ways to help and encourage children in the process of their growth or study, and rationally use rewards and punishments to let children gain knowledge and understand things from their parents' behavior and education. In this kind of family atmosphere, parents understand and respect their children, communicate with them closely, and give them room to grow up freely. Children who grow up in this family environment are respected since childhood, and there is no lack of guidance and requirements from their parents, and often become the most independent and confident people. Parents can treat and respect their children equally, listen to their voices, give them intimate help, respond to their needs in time, and let them feel warm and caring.
Third, how to effectively develop children's sociality in the family.
The difference of children's social development level directly affects the difference of family education methods. Therefore, parents should treat their children's social development level correctly and improve their social development status by establishing healthy family education methods.
1. Improve parents' awareness of social education and consciously educate their children as social representatives.
2. Establish a democratic family.
Children are individuals with independent personalities. Parents should put their children on an equal footing, listen to their opinions, let them dare to express their opinions and demands in front of their parents, and at the same time let them restrain themselves, respect their parents and elders, and guide their children with a tolerant and democratic attitude, which can actively promote the development of their internal control ability and improve their cognitive ability.
3. lead by example, lead by example.
Parents are children's first teachers, and their words and deeds have a subtle influence on children. Parents must have good moral quality, create a democratic and harmonious family atmosphere, be strict but not violent towards their children, and be consistent in attitude and words, so that children can obtain excellent qualities such as respect, care, unity and consideration from themselves at an early age.
4. Appropriate appreciation and clear rewards and punishments
Appreciation and encouragement are as indispensable as sunshine and air. In the process of children's growth, parents should learn to appreciate and encourage, be good at discovering children's bright spots, often praise children's advantages and strengths, and encourage children to learn with an open mind. As parents, we should affirm and praise her in time, help her gradually establish a positive self-concept and convince her that she is capable and promising, but it is extremely undesirable to praise her blindly. When children make mistakes, they must criticize and correct them correctly and objectively in time, and do a good job of persuasion patiently and meticulously, so that children can understand where they are wrong, know where they are wrong, and grow up through experience.
5. Family cooperation
Communication is the basic need of human beings. Only through communication can people exchange information and feelings, coordinate relations and achieve the purpose of common activities. We help, guide, support and cooperate with parents through rich and diverse family interaction activities to jointly improve parenting styles. Through family study activities, we can enhance the emotional communication between parents and children, narrow the distance between families, parents and children, and help parents establish correct educational concepts. Parents can correctly understand their children's "zone of proximal development" and deepen their understanding of their children's development level and their own educational behavior, so as to consciously reflect on their own parenting styles, change their educational concepts, improve their educational skills, and realize the mutual penetration and organic integration of new educational concepts and behaviors in family education.
As children, what they need is a happy childhood. As parents, we value their brilliant future more. We should guide and train children from all aspects, so the socialized development of children will become a concern of the whole society. As long as our parents and teachers create a good environment for them, provide opportunities for communication and use correct and effective parenting methods, we believe that children will grow up healthily, become social people, complete socialization and shoulder the heavy responsibility of tomorrow!