In everyone's eyes, Duoduo is notoriously excellent. At the age of 7, I wrote English scripts, translated English novels at the age of 8, and played the piano very well.
In Where Is Dad Going, she is a sensible and kind sister. On the stage, she became a talented little actress, much like her parents.
I wanted to write about how Huang Lei trained Duo Duo so well.
But the more you know, the more you find that what Huang Lei wants to give his children is not success or Excellence, but the simplest three words-happiness. Excellence is only the natural result that comes with it.
Looking back at ourselves, in this desperate era, before we rush to enroll our children in classes and create superior material conditions for them, maybe we can learn from Huang Lei and ask ourselves first.
"What kind of life do I want my children to live?"
Maybe after understanding this answer, we don't have to be so tired, and we can put our efforts on the cutting edge to give our children a happy life.
We all want our children to be happy, but what is happiness? Can I buy all my favorite toys, or can I get the first place every time?
In my opinion, happiness is not to give a child everything he wants, but to help him cultivate the ability to make himself happy. One of the most important points is to teach children how to face setbacks.
The most precious thing about Where is Dad Going is that children will encounter many difficulties that they can't meet in real life.
They have to walk a long way on the muddy mountain road, even if they keep falling, they have to bite the bullet and go on.
They want to leave their father and finish the task alone with their friends. Get up the courage to talk to strange uncles and aunts and ask for help.
They still live in shabby houses and don't even have a decent toilet.
What do we usually do when children don't adapt to these situations and get emotional?
Maybe I'll feel sorry for the child. I hope he can get through it, get through it. Maybe he will be a little unhappy and think he is too delicate.
However, Huang Lei has neither pity nor blame. He taught us how to see our luck in adversity and be grateful.
For example, when I went to Fiji, Dodo lived in a local school with his father and Grace.
Grace misses her father so much that she has been crying. Influenced by her, Duoduo became very sad and cried and said to his father, "I don't know why, I feel particularly unhappy here."
Huang Lei handed her daughter a tissue and told her how much she liked the house.
One is that I haven't slept in bunk beds for a long time, and the other is that I have met many enthusiastic children here.
But the most important thing is the third point.
Huang Lei asked Toto and Grace to touch the bed where they were sitting. There is a soft cushion under it. Then I touched the beds of other children in this school and found that they were very hard, and there was only a board under the sheets.
It turned out that the children specially prepared cushions for Dodo and Grace, hoping to make them sleep more comfortably.
Huang Lei said to the children: "We want to say thank you, thank the world for being good to me."
Seeing this, I am particularly moved and admire Huang Lei's wisdom.
We always make children stronger when they are sad and depressed. In fact, subconsciously, we still only see the bad side of setbacks.
But Huang Lei found a new way. He teaches children to find happiness when they are unhappy and happiness when they are unhappy.
When we see those buried bright spots with the eyes of discovery and gratitude, we will be more optimistic and have more strength to overcome difficulties.
In Where's Dad Going, we see that Duoduo is very sensible and will take care of people. But if we are more careful, we will find that Huang Lei is also willing to help others.
Walking on the mountain road, he will take the initiative to help other fathers with backpacks and luggage.
While searching for the food dropped by the helicopter in the mountains, Huang Lei did not hesitate to look for the farthest food, so that other dads could finish their tasks early and go back to take care of their children.
In addition to setting an example for Duoduo, Huang Lei will naturally find opportunities to pass on this helpful value to Duoduo.
Once upon a time, everyone was desperately moving forward in the Woods. The children all want to arrive first. Only Huang Lei said to Duoduo, "Don't rush to catch up with the first person, but think about waiting for the last one."
This sentence made Duoduo silent for a while, and it also made me meditate for a long time.
We always encourage children to compete and be the best people. But blindly striving for the first place is sometimes not necessarily a good thing for children.
Looking back when we were studying, were there always one or two good students with outstanding achievements but no popularity in the class?
Such a good student is actually very lonely inside. When you grow up and enter the society, it is easy to be isolated and excluded, and it is difficult to give play to your strengths and get recognition from colleagues and leaders.
Huang Lei once said, "Friends are the most precious gifts in our life."
He named Duoduo and Mei Duo. The last words of their names are kindness and love. I hope they have compassion and love in their hearts. I hope this kind of life can bring them happiness.
Huang Lei himself did this, being friendly to people and treating his friends like family. I paid more attention to all this, so I grew up to be a kind, warm and likable person.
We often worry, what if children can't make friends? Always worried about how to improve their social skills.
Actually, skills are secondary. If a child can cherish friendship, be willing to share and help others, he can impress others with his sincerity and become a popular lucky dog even if he is not good at words and does not know how to socialize.
The third thing that moved me about Huang Lei was that wherever I went, I would bring a lot of books and accompany my daughter to study.
When he was in Fiji, he and Dodo read in bed with flashlights.
In the Yellow River Stone Forest, I often sit in the yard and read to my brothers and sisters.
When Huang Lei takes part in other programs, he will also bring books, make a cup of tea early, hold a pen and enjoy the quiet reading time.
Because I have a father who loves reading so much, I have been asked many times, "What items must I bring when traveling?" At that time, her answer was actually "book".
It is no wonder that many people can write English poems and plays at an early age by making reading as natural as eating and sleeping.
I can't remember which book I have read. A mother said that no matter how hard we try, we can't give our children the best influence in all aspects, but books can.
In the book, children can talk with the most thoughtful and wise great men, experience the impossible situations in real life and explore everything he wants to know.
So introduce the book as a good friend to the children as soon as possible. Can make children live interesting, rich and not lonely.
There are many things we can learn from Huang Lei's parenting style. For example, his happy marriage with Sun Li, his respect for children, and his emphasis on eating with his family.
But what impressed me most was his interpretation of the word "happiness".
In fact, comfortable living conditions and excellent grades, all the abilities we want to cultivate for our children, in the final analysis, are not just to make him live a happy life?
As long as the child has a rich heart, everything else will come naturally.