As far as I know, Xiao Xu's children are very naughty, and his neighbor Xiao Xu belongs to that kind of strict parents. They are too strict with their children's daily education and don't allow them to make any mistakes, which has caused great psychological pressure on them. In fact, many parents in life are the same as her, demanding too much of their children, hoping that everything will be perfect for their children, and there is no room for mistakes in their eyes. But not allowing children to make mistakes is the biggest mistake in family education.
It is a big mistake for parents not to allow their children to make mistakes.
In life, there are always some parents who educate their children to take an overly strict attitude and don't allow them to make a little mistake. Once their children do something wrong, parents start yelling at their children and accusing them of misconduct. Making mistakes means a shame, and for children, it is a bad reflection of being naughty. Every child is an independent individual, but parents always like to use the same template to educate their children. Parents mistakenly think that children who don't make mistakes are excellent, but in fact, not allowing children to make mistakes is the biggest mistake in family education.
I once read a story about an old artist who taught his children very strictly. Later, his daughter was admitted to an Ivy League doctor. Later, he went to school to see his daughter. I don't know why, but she blames the children. Her daughter responded loudly: "What can I do to satisfy you?" She said, "Do you think you did a good job?" Hearing this, the daughter jumped down from the upstairs.
An Ivy League doctor should be an excellent person, but my mother is still not satisfied with her. It is this attitude of not letting children make mistakes that puts too much pressure on children and eventually leads to an irreparable tragedy.
As the old saying in China says, to err is human. Children always grow up by making mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and know how to solve them, so as to avoid making mistakes next time. The process of children's growth is a process of trial and error, and parents can't stop their children from trial and error.
It is a kind of harm for children not to make mistakes.
Preventing children from making mistakes does great harm to children themselves and has some negative effects on their growth.
1. Don't let children make mistakes, children are more afraid.
Variety Show "Where is Dad?" In the activity of "Protecting Ice Cream", Dajun and Xia were asked to protect an ice cream together. At the beginning, the children honestly insisted on their own tasks, but after a long time, the children could not resist the temptation and failed to complete the tasks entrusted by the village head. Later, the children realized their mistakes, but they did it in a completely different way.
Summer said, "I'll tell them I ate ice cream." But the great king hid directly and dared not admit his mistake. Children's different attitudes can reflect parents' different educational methods. Sure enough, in the summer, the father made the children reflect on their behavior by standing as punishment. The big dad started by accusing the child, and finally left the child with a sentence: "I don't care about you" and left in a hurry. Children are afraid of making mistakes because their mistakes are not understood by their parents. His inner fear made him hide secretly when he made mistakes, and he dared not take responsibility for his mistakes generously.
2. Don't let children make mistakes, and their ability to resist setbacks is even worse.
When children make mistakes, they are actually more nervous than their parents, and their mood is more difficult to ease and calm down. If parents blame their children blindly, they will be even more unable to face up to their mistakes.
If parents don't let their children make mistakes, and children lack experience in solving mistakes, then children naturally have no good ability to resist setbacks when facing mistakes in the future.
Therefore, parents should learn to let their children try and make mistakes, which is a process of continuous trial and exploration for children, and parents should have a certain tolerance for their children's mistakes. Parents should allow their children to make mistakes. When children make mistakes, don't blame them too much, encourage and support them more, so that children have more courage to overcome their mistakes and gradually increase their ability to resist setbacks.
By educating children, children will learn to make them "make mistakes" appropriately.
1. Let go of the children and give them more opportunities for trial and error.
Many parents care too much about their children when educating them, paying too much attention to their words and deeds, which leads to their lack of proper self-space, not allowing their children to make mistakes and being afraid of their parents.
For young children, the brain development is not yet mature. At this time, when children do something wrong, many parents will choose to do it instead of their children. At this time, parents deprived their children of the opportunity to try and make mistakes, and children naturally could not grow up better. On the contrary, parents should learn to let go of their children and not help them do everything well.
When children make mistakes, parents can help them do things well. In the short term, it can save time and reduce the number of mistakes made by children. But in the long run, it will only hurt the growth of children, make children rely too much on their parents and gradually dampen their self-care ability.
Parents should let their children make mistakes in a proper range, encourage them to do their own things independently, give positive encouragement and support when their children make mistakes, help them find suitable ways to solve their mistakes and let them grow up better.
2. Educate children positively and treat their mistakes rationally.
There are some impatient parents in life. When they see their children make mistakes, their inner anxiety will lead them to do some rude behaviors. In order to let children learn a lesson in a short time, parents may blame and scold their children. Parents think this is an effective way, but in fact it will make children afraid to make mistakes in front of their parents and admit it.
In order to let children learn lessons after making mistakes, parents should learn to adopt positive educational methods and learn to treat their children's mistakes rationally. Parents should learn to make their children aware of their mistakes through communication and give them more free time to reflect on their behavior, so as to better guide their children to correct their mistakes.
Parents should also learn to treat their children's mistakes calmly, yelling will only make them feel scared. Only by being calm can we analyze the causes of mistakes with children more rationally, better guide children to correct mistakes and solve problems, and let children grow up in the process of making mistakes.
3. Use empathy to understand the child's true thoughts.
Every child in the world has his own characteristics. Parents should learn to educate their children according to their characteristics, instead of adopting the same method.
When a child makes a mistake, parents don't have to rush to correct the child's mistake, but learn to understand the child and listen to the child's inner thoughts. After a child makes a mistake, the most important thing for parents is to use empathy and think from the child's point of view. Learning to use empathy can also help children understand their parents' real thoughts more clearly and avoid some unnecessary misunderstandings between parents and children.
Everyone can't be perfect, and parents should treat their children's mistakes with a normal heart. Listen and understand children more, and children will feel respected. Doing so can not only make children realize and correct their mistakes, but also protect their self-esteem.