The relationship between children and parents is a narrow parent-child relationship. Parent-child relationship is the earliest experience in a person's life and the most important part of interpersonal relationship. If this relationship develops well, it will become the basis of a series of good relationships with others in a child's life.
Second, the importance of parent-child relationship:
A person's basic attitude, behavior pattern and personality structure have laid a foundation in the process of parent-child interaction in infancy, and then gradually formed a unique personality through important stages of physical and mental development such as childhood and youth. Parent-child relationship directly affects children's physical health, attitude and behavior, values and future achievements.
Third, the influence of parent-child relationship:
1, the influence on language development (language development benefits more from mothers)
2. The influence on the formation of personality (family disharmony leads to stuttering, nervousness and irritability, neurosis and juvenile delinquency when they grow up)
3. Influence on social interpersonal relationships (feeling loved, needed, appreciated and accepted in a good parent-child relationship, laying a good foundation for children to adapt to others. Children with indifferent families are not easy to trust others and are not good at establishing good interpersonal relationships when they grow up. )
Fourth, the stages of parent-child relationship development:
1, the physiological symbiosis period (from conception to three months after birth) only meets the basic needs, making no difference to people. Use signal behavior to maintain intimate relationship with caregivers.
2. Selective social response behavior in the budding period (3 months to 6 months). Find the characters and show the signal behavior. Show natural joy and unusual attachment to the mother or the person who plays the role of mother.
3. In the stable period (6-8 months), they begin to respond to the fixed signals of one or several people and show obvious attachment behavior to their parents who have been taking care of themselves. Familiar with the specific object of reaction concentration. Seek to get close to the body of an inclined object.
4. Progress cycle
A. Parent-child relationship in the later period of the baby (8 months ~ 1 year): knowing how to deny, such as pushing a bottle, isno. This period is characterized by positive, positive and intimate parent-child relationship.
B. Parent-child relationship in early childhood (1-6 years old): 3 years old is a critical period, showing separation anxiety and attachment to the mother.
C. Parent-child relationship in childhood (6- 12 years old): parents are no longer the mainstay, but accept the social environment.
D. Parent-child relationship in adolescence (12 ~20 years old): Re-understanding the attachment structure of parent-child relationship and changing the attachment representation is the best stage to expand the lover's ability.
Five, maintain a good parent-child relationship:
1, parenting attitude: autocracy, laissez-faire, democracy and authority.
Step 2 learn communication methods
3, master the reward and punishment strategy
Sixth, the method of parent-child communication:
1, type: authoritative parent-child communication, doting parent-child communication, harmonious parent-child communication: persuasion, information provision, heart-to-heart talk (venting), chat (common)
2. Parent-child communication should be based on love.
3. How to establish parent-child relationship
(1) Provide a comfortable environment and good external conditions.
(2) Provide general suggestions that can promote, cultivate and maintain children's emotional balance:
(3) Help children develop correct self-concept and sound self-esteem.
(4) Demonstrate and teach children how to make decisions, choose, judge and solve problems.
(5) Guide children's moral development through words and deeds.
(6) Give absolute support to children when they learn to overcome emotional difficulties in life.
(7) Assist children in group adaptation and interpersonal relationships.
(8) Help the child to express his inner creativity and let his potential play out as much as possible.
4. The principle of encouraging young children:
(1) Praise and encourage more, and don't be stingy with the rewards for children.
(2) The content of the reward is consistent with the behavior of the reward.
(3) Rewards should be implemented immediately after good behavior to be effective.
(4) There should not be too many rewards, only through competition.
(5) More spiritual or social rewards, less material rewards.
(6) Verbal praise should be specific.
(7) Rewards should gradually introduce internal control from external control to cultivate children's independence.
(8) Don't abuse rewards, but aim at good behavior.
5, the punishment principle:
(1) Punishment is not equal to corporal punishment (hands-on, fierce expression makes children daunting and easy for children to imitate and become violent children).
(2) Bad behaviors should be implemented immediately after they occur.
(3) The way of punishment should be fair and consistent (the same behavior should have the same consequences)
(4) Children can be punished by canceling what they think is important.
(5) Don't punish things related to life.
(6) Punishing children should make them understand that you like him, but you don't like his bad behavior, and separate people from things.
(7) Punishment should be accompanied by oral explanation, so that children can understand the reasons for their punishment.
(8) When punishing children, we should pay attention to the facts, don't humiliate or belittle children, and don't ask for children beyond their age.
Seven, the correct management of parent-child relationship:
1. Explore children's problems with your heart and consider their physical and mental development.
2. Parents or grandparents should strive for the same parenting attitude and don't let their children be at a loss.
3. Give children clear love and clear instructions, and don't hesitate to give rewards.
4. Before teaching children tolerance and understanding, we should first show tolerance and understanding.
5, grow up with children, give children flexible space, and flexibility can make the parent-child relationship last.
6. Teach children to "help", not "replace" or "grab the job"
7. Don't treat children as "all" of parents? Arbitrary command
8. The environment for children to grow up happily is not material, but spiritual.
9. Make rules with children so that children have rules to follow.
10, being a good example for children is an important condition for educating children.
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