Parents should not be condescending and self-righteous. They should learn to put themselves in the children's shoes to think and deal with problems. Parents should first learn to speak well. When parents are emotionally stable, children will not be grumpy. The child did something wrong, but he was already very upset. At this time, parents should first focus on appeasement and avoid verbal confrontation. Don't criticize education until the child is emotionally stable.
The best time to criticize education is when children are in a good mood. Parents should not be in a hurry, but seize the opportunity to get twice the result with half the effort and be happy.
In the process of family education, children sometimes have a bad temper. I think that as parents, we should first keep a cool head, observe and find out the reasons and laws of children's bad temper, and then "prescribe the right medicine". Secondly, if the child is irritable, if it is a personality problem, then we can explore his interest and then consciously guide him and attract him to develop in a direction conducive to progress. On this premise, let's talk about some truths, especially the harmfulness of irritability, that is, we should pay attention to educational methods.
In a word, according to the epistemology of dialectical materialism, it is understandable that children sometimes have a bad temper, but different objects should take different countermeasures.
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There must be a reason why children have a bad temper.
First, the causes of physical and mental diseases. If children are uncomfortable and can't express clearly, they will easily become emotionally unstable, irritable and uncontrollable. It may also be a psychological problem, which requires parents to observe carefully, judge the symptoms and find out the reasons.
Second, it has not been taken seriously. Children are the treasures of the family. If parents neglect their children because of busy work or having a second child or other reasons, children may deliberately exaggerate their emotions in order to attract their parents' attention, which is a sign of lack of love.
Third, the demand has not been met. When a child is young, if an adult can give him everything he wants, he will feel that he has everything he wants. If you are not satisfied, roll around and lose your temper.
If it is a physical or psychological problem that causes the child to have a bad temper, you must see a doctor in time and treat the symptoms. If not, what should we do?
First, cold treatment. Ignore the child when he loses his temper. Parents should do whatever they want and treat him like air. He is tired of crying alone. Without an audience, he will be bored. Don't feel sorry for him, or you will lose all your efforts. Being caught by children is even worse for future education.
Second, be reasonable. When the child's mood is stable, parents must talk to him and talk seriously.
Ask the child the reason first. Why did you lose your temper? Be sure to understand clearly, and don't let him dodge and get away with it.
Then make clear his mistakes. Let him know that this behavior of crying and losing his temper is wrong, disrespectful and harmful to his parents, and it is not what a good boy should do. Let him understand right and wrong and take the blame, so that he can understand what is wrong.
Make him regret it. Can you ask the child if you lost your temper and solved the problem? Did you achieve your goal? Let him know that this way can't solve the problem and achieve the goal.
Finally, tell the child that his parents love him, but they will not satisfy his unreasonable troubles and all his demands.
Family education is the foundation of children's life growth and the source of children's happiness. Parents' words and deeds, children are "watching", "feeling" and "imitating learning", and then "internalizing" becomes a part of life. The new talent education carefully reminds that parents are always the most influential people in their children's lives. When the child is in a bad mood, the inducement may be parents!
The "kinship" of "relatives" that we often talk about evolved from the ancient hieroglyph "Ai": "Ai" means "under one roof"; The combination of "kissing" and "watching" is the original meaning of "participating by yourself and watching at close range". "Pro" begins with the ancient word "love", which leads to the mystery of family education!
A very important part of family education is "watching-observing children". Children sometimes have a bad temper, and there must be a reason behind it. As parents, we should first observe children's emotional reaction calmly and silently, allow children to have their own immediate emotional venting and actions without safety effect, understand the information behind their temper, and take this as an opportunity to get close and teach. As for when and how to intervene in the observation process, this is a skill that parents need to learn and deal with. Don't follow the children to the end from the beginning. Give empathy to children's emotions and make a simple and sincere response. This can not only build mutual trust, but also become the basis for children to listen and express. It also helps to establish a parent-child interaction relationship and easily realize the principle of "no abuse and no spoil":
? Detect and value children's emotions.
? Pay attention to children's feelings.
? Listen to your child's heart.
? Comfort children with empathy
? Help children express their feelings in words.
? Teach children to adjust their emotions in a positive way.
? Provide solutions to problems
At the same time, parents should understand that establishing a positive, open and harmonious family is of great help to children's emotional control and healthy growth. Parents need to learn to adjust the existing education methods and get along with each other, and also reflect on themselves and strengthen emotional management:
1. Learn the methods of self-relaxation and decompression;
2. Give yourself private space to be kind to yourself, such as watching movies and shopping;
3. There is a world of two people between husband and wife, which is easy to entertain together and nourish the marriage relationship;
4. Set aside some time alone, reflect on your emotions and needs, talk to others and ask for help when necessary;
Parents maintain an optimistic and positive attitude and believe in their children's independent growth.
In short, only when parents further understand and understand their children's growth and inner needs, reflect on their attitudes and behaviors, strengthen their skills and confidence in communication and discipline with their children, and discipline them calmly according to their growth rules, can children follow each other and their lives be more exciting.
Pay more attention to children every day, and children will make progress every day!
If in doubt, please pay attention to and @ New Gifted Education, and we will encourage you together.
Parents should adjust the way of communication: think back to whether there are many words of accusation, urging, impatience and belittling children in the language of communication with children.
If there is, it is necessary to adjust, give more encouragement and trust, trust the child and tell him that you trust him. You see that he is very distressed when he loses his temper, and he is very serious and sincere in communicating with his children!
Children's practical training class, deeply interpret the hidden secrets behind the typical psychological characteristics and behaviors of children aged 3~ 18!
It covers all kinds of problem cases from infants to teenagers.
Cut into the various problems of children's age most accurately and teach parents the most practical and effective parenting methods in the simplest form.
Find out the reason why you have a bad temper.
This problem really gives parents a headache. It is very bad to have a grumpy child at home. Losing your temper, yelling, even throwing things, hurting yourself or hurting others are all very bad psychological States that need to be corrected and overcome.
We must first analyze how the grumpy mood is generated.
(A) the reasons in the process of education
Children are overindulgent or overindulgent, and make a hullabaloo about when they are slightly unhappy. And because his temper is easy to achieve his goal, over time, the child has formed a temper tantrum.
(B) the impact of parental violence
If parents are irritable on the one hand, it is easy to have a bad influence on their children, and children will mistakenly form "as long as they encounter problems, they will blame others."
(3) Children are abused.
Children are sometimes treated badly, unfairly or suppressed in the process of growing up, which makes them feel depressed and angry for a long time. Needless to say, rage is harmful to others, and when people are furious, it is easy to make wrong decisions and say hurtful things. There is a saying that impulse is the devil, including the consequences of "rage"
So, how can we overcome anger? (A) planning in advance
Before you do something, you should consider every detail, try to avoid unhappy things, make detailed preparations and have fewer questions, so that you can do things with ease and feel more happy. Don't be angry.
(2) Encourage more and blame less.
A person who has been criticized for a long time will also hint in his heart that he can't. Over time, he will be depressed and irritable, angry at his incompetence and irritable to others. Encourage more and blame less.
(3) Strengthen exercise ability
Strengthen all kinds of ability training, constantly improve your ability, make yourself more confident in yourself, do things better, and control yourself more easily. They can also train children to do things that cultivate their emotions, such as painting, playing the piano or calligraphy.
In the process of family education, when children have a bad temper, Mr. Hao thinks that parents can have a very good effect by doing so. Let's analyze and solve the problem together.
First of all, I think parents should understand the personality types of themselves and their children, because personality has a great influence on emotions. When educating children at home, we must pay attention to the ways and means of education. Be patient with children's education. Love is a natural thing, and even some parents' love for their children has turned into doting.
Secondly, let's talk about why specific children are irritable. There are many reasons, which may be the influence of family; May be their own factors; It is possible that things outside the family have affected the children and so on. However, the child's grumpy mood reveals the problems that plague him, and parents can enlighten the child and help him solve the problems and eliminate his troubles.
2. If something affects children's mood during our education, we should help children find the problem and then try to solve it. When the child's mind is freed from troubles, his mood will naturally improve, and you can communicate and talk normally.
If it is caused by external factors, we should go into the child's heart when educating him, so that he is willing to talk to you and tell you his secret, so that what you say will have weight and he will be obedient.
4. In the process of education, if the child's abnormal emotions occasionally appear once or twice, it shows that there are the above problems. However, if he often shows grumpy emotions in the process of education, then parents should reflect. Why is he arrogant? In front of his parents, he is self-centered It may be the result of doting. You have to bear the pain and suffering caused by doting.
As parents, it is necessary to understand that the education of children is multifaceted, not only the concern in life and the improvement in material things, but also the comprehensive education with school teachers. Children should be educated in patriotism, ideals and beliefs, morality, labor, law, body and mind, adolescence, aesthetics and frustration. Only by educating the children well will there be no big problem.
Therefore, in the process of family education, parents should be good at finding problems, thinking, narrowing the distance with children's hearts, cultivating children's all-round ability and instilling correct three views. Cultivate a responsible child. The education process is very difficult, but only with the cooperation of family, school and society can an excellent child be educated.
This happened this morning. Children take the initiative to punch in English every morning. After reading a few words of English today, I began to watch a small video. I couldn't hear it when I shouted, so I took my phone back. The child was in a hurry, so he didn't make any noise. He let me go in tears angrily.
I made sure she was safe in the bedroom, and then I said, okay, I'm leaving. You cry first, and then call me when you want to talk.
After a few minutes, the child stopped crying, but he was still very angry. I walked into the room, learning from the plot in her favorite story, and said, "Is your troubled star gone?" ? I am waiting for my little fairy to come back and talk to her. Today, the trouble star took my little fairy and was angry with her mother.
The child nodded his head. I held her in my arms and said to myself, you know what, fairy? Today, when you were punching in English, that annoying star sneaked into your brain. He went to play before he finished learning English.
The child whispered, mom, I must have eaten too much sugar yesterday, so they took the opportunity to sneak in.
Fortunately, we beat them away together. Let's continue to punch in later, and don't be disturbed by the troubled stars.
All right. I won't be influenced by them this time, so study English well.
When a child is emotional, especially when he is grumpy, we should be careful not to let his grumpy behavior hurt him. At the same time, accepting children's emotions is not accusation, but acceptance.
Then analyze the changes together.
Do you have any good ideas? Welcome to communicate.