Many of us make the same mistake in marriage: always confident that we will change each other, and the other half will change for ourselves.
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When Luo Xiaobei and He Chunsheng first got married in the TV series Family, they both confidently thought that they could change each other, but they ignored the differences in their growth environment and education level. They have different views on many issues. He Chunsheng never understood the difference between instant coffee and coffee shop. What's the difference between bought orange juice and freshly squeezed orange juice? Luo Xiaobei will give Chunsheng a lot of money for daily expenses every time he gets paid. She always thought Chunsheng would change her stingy habit as long as she had enough money. I don't know that Chunsheng's inferiority and dignity in his bones can't be changed.
After many twists and turns, Luo Xiaobei finally understood a truth: After many things, I now understand that the main obstacle between Chunsheng and me is not you and Ma Xiaolong, but a deep-rooted family concept. Not only we, but also people around us know it. This concept cast an unfortunate shadow on our marriage. What we have done in recent years is not so much a breakthrough as a struggle. Because we subconsciously foresee the misfortune of marriage. That's why there will be an episode between you and Ma Xiaolong. And we attributed this episode to the concept of family, so our thoughts went astray. Indeed, Chunsheng and I have many differences. We grew up in different environments, received different education, and had different social status, economic income and consumption views. However, these differences can be adjusted. The way to adjust is not to blindly tolerate and accommodate, but to learn to appreciate each other and appreciate each other's personality, so as to narrow the distance between them. My biggest regret is that when I really learned to appreciate Chunsheng, it was too late.
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The boredom of marriage begins with discovering each other's true appearance, and the alienation of two people in marriage begins with changing each other.
I once chatted with my sister who was ten years older than me. She told me that when I was in love, my husband was obedient to her. Just married for a long time, more and more impatient. Will find fault with each other. Whenever I rest at home on weekends, I feel inexplicably annoyed when I see him playing games. In my mind, I always think that playing games means doing nothing. How could he do that? For a time, we often quarreled about it. But it still can't solve the essential problem. No matter how hard I tried to persuade him, it was of no avail. Later, I bowed my head, so he can play if he wants! I tried to change my mind. We found that everything became clear and we stopped arguing. So it's hard to change a person. But it will affect a person.
In marriage: learn to accept each other's shortcomings and appreciate each other's advantages. Love is not about finding a perfect person. but
Learn to appreciate imperfect people with perfect eyes.