Xiao Zhao, 4 years old, is a lively age. She has inexhaustible energy all day. Because of this, Xiao Zhao often creates small disasters. For example, Xiao Zhao went out to play with her parents. When her parents weren't paying attention, Xiao Zhao went to play.
Xiao Zhao's parents made great efforts to find him. Xiao Zhao's father wanted to teach his children a good lesson, but he was stopped by his mother, who was very gentle and told Xiao Zhao the truth, hoping he would understand. But Xiao Zhao is only 4 years old, so she doesn't listen at all. After a while, she ran around again.
In Positive Discipline, the author talked about that a good education should not be spoiled, nor should it be spoiled. Parents can't control their children simply by gentle oral education.
Why does oral education have little effect on children? 1, white bear effect
The white bear effect is actually a psychological suggestion. A psychologist did an experiment and found a group of people. When he said not to imagine a white bear, more people couldn't help thinking.
This is actually a psychological suggestion, and many parents will inexplicably fall into this effect when educating their children.
For example, children like to throw things around. His parents reasoned with him and told him not to throw things around. As a result, the child threw more vigorously. In addition, parents worry that their children will do something wrong, such as running a red light. When their children have not done this kind of behavior, parents deliberately emphasize this matter, which sometimes backfires, and children may try to violate this bottom line.
2. The child's logical ability is weak.
Why is the child's logical ability weak? This is actually related to the child's brain development. In "The Language of Parents", the author did a lot of experiments and found that children's brains developed fastest around 3 years old, and their right brains developed fastest.
At this time, children's logical thinking ability is actually very weak, and their sensitivity to language is also very weak. I can't think too much, especially because of my parents. They are incapable of fully understanding what their parents mean.
Moreover, children may forget what they are not interested in as soon as they turn their heads. Although parents spend a lot of time educating their children, they may soon forget all about it.
How important is execution to children? 1, able to work independently
Children with executive ability, they can do things independently, parents don't have to worry too much. Execution is a kind of ability to accomplish things spontaneously without being urged by others.
If children have the ability to execute, they don't need parents to urge them every day. For example, he is required to get up at seven o'clock in the morning to go to school, and he can get up and wash himself spontaneously without the urging of his parents.
2. Do things without delay
One of the biggest headaches for many parents is that their children procrastinate. Doing homework can only be done for half an hour, but children can actually do it 1 hour, or even more than 3 hours.
Most children are a little procrastinating, mainly because their logical thinking ability is not so strong and they are easily disturbed by things around them. Children with strong execution can better control themselves and finish things in time without their parents worrying too much.
Since execution is so important, how should parents cultivate their children's execution? 1, make a plan and start with small things.
In the book "Micro Habits", the author has done a lot of experiments and investigations, and concluded that the willpower of human brain is limited. It is difficult to persist in doing some difficult things, because they will consume a certain amount of willpower every time they do it. Without willpower, people will have no motivation to do things, that is, they will become particularly tired.
So how do you understand this kind of thing? The author of this book says that we can start with small things, but don't waste too much energy. For example, you can wash dishes immediately after dinner. If the child still can't finish eating, wash chopsticks. We must take action first, and then we can slowly let the children do more difficult things.
Parents should set an example.
If both parents have no execution, children will follow their parents' example. For example, parents should take an active part in cleaning on weekends. When children see it, they will be subtly influenced by their parents and gradually enhance their execution.
Finally, parents should not disturb their children by watching TV while they are doing their homework. Their rooms should be as clean as possible. Sometimes children's poor execution is also related to the environment. The environment is chaotic and there are many things, so children can't concentrate and are easily distracted.