The original text "Therefore, under the knees of their own bodies, adoptive parents are strict." Sages respect each other by strict teaching, and love each other by pro-teaching. "
Vernacular is produced when children depend on their parents when they are young. When they grow up, they learn to respect their parents' dignity day by day. Sages teach people to be filial to their parents on the basis that their children respect their parents. And because of their natural love for their parents, children are taught the truth of love.
Thinking 1: How do saints teach children love and respect?
"Xiao Chuan" said, "Therefore, at the knees of your body, adoptive parents are strict. Sages teach respect because of strictness, and love because of relatives. " Tang Xuanzong's annotation "Under Your Knee" said: "The heart of love is born in children." Children have feelings for their parents at a very young age, and at that time they were only at their parents' knees, and they had that kind of attachment and reluctance to their parents. If children keep this kind of heart and expand it, they can cultivate an emotion of loving the world. Tang Xuanzong's annotation "Strict Adoptive Parents" said: "Compared with getting old and knowing the righteous side, you will gain more dignity and pay tribute to your parents." In the process of children's growth, parents should teach him to "gradually know benevolence and righteousness", that is, tell him what to do and what not to do, and he will know more and more about morality and respect his parents day by day. Therefore, the teaching of saints has two contents, one is love and the other is respect.
"Sages teach respect because of strictness and love because of relatives." Tang Xuanzong commented: "Sages, because of their strictness, urged to teach with love and respect." . This means that saints teach love and respect according to their own strictness. "Justice" explains such a sentence: "The way of father and son is simple, but they don't accept filial piety and can't be careless." In other words, kindness and filial piety are the nature of fathers and sons, and fathers teach their children love with their hearts. So the teaching of saints pays attention to methods. Saints cultivate children's love according to the affection between parents and children, and teach children to respect their parents according to their growing respect for their parents. It is natural that father and son are related. If we maintain and develop this kind of love and respect between parents and children, and this kind of love is for everyone, this person will succeed in teaching. This is to follow human nature education and stimulate people's good knowledge and ability, so it is not compulsory teaching. The educational principle of saints is "teach respect because of strictness and love because of relatives." We must hold on to it.
Thinking 2: Why can't educating children be simpler?
Kindness and filial piety are the nature of father and son. A father educates his children with love, but simplicity is not enough. What is simplicity? Simple is too simple, many communication processes are very simple, and everything is simply handled. In the face of children, we must be patient and face everything that happens. Any communication process should clearly show love and respect for parents, rather than hate him, which is from the perspective of parents. In addition, from the perspective of children, it can't be too simple. For example, "Disciples Rules" says, "If you go out, you have to face it." If your child wants to go out, he won't say hello to his parents or come back. These manners have been ignored. This is too simple. Father's kindness and filial piety should be reflected in small things. If the expression of etiquette is simplified, then the kindness and filial piety of the father to his children will not be connected. Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty said, "Stop itching and pain, and hang a felt pillow to teach love." Every little thing in life is to inspire children to feel love, and it is also an opportunity to teach children love. Jin Yan must be an example. Children can't learn if their parents are casual at home and have no respect.
Thinking 3: What principles do we use to simply grasp the fundamentals of doing things?
The things we have to do are endless, and the human relations are ever-changing. What principles should we use to simply grasp the fundamentals of doing things? It's "respect" If you have respect, you will think seriously and act seriously, which is the foundation of career success. And "love" is an endless internal motivation, so that you will not shrink back in any difficulties. Love and respect can solve almost all the difficulties in our life. The enlightenment of "sage teaches respect because of strictness, and loves because of relatives" is particularly important. The sage told us that love and respect are the goals of education, and that "parents teach love" and "strict respect" are the methods of education. So, if you love your child, don't forget to teach him to love you, and don't forget to remind him that being strict with your child is to teach him to learn to respect.