China has always had the reputation of "the state of etiquette". As early as 3,000 years ago, during the Yin and Zhou Dynasties, the Duke of Zhou in the Western Zhou Dynasty established a ritual and music system with morality as the respect, making it an important way to govern the country with morality and benevolent government. After Duke Zhou, Confucius put forward the idea of "benevolence". Confucianism inherited and carried forward the culture of rites and music, and put forward that a gentleman should "be knowledgeable in literature, make an appointment with rites", "guide his ambition with rites, and be happy with sound", and demand that benevolence and righteousness be the most important, cultivate one's morality, be kind to others, be neat and tidy in appearance, and be happy by the way.
The Book of Rites and Music says: "The sum of heaven and earth is the musician; Ceremony is the order of heaven and earth. Everything is harmonious and the order is different. " Rites are the classics of heaven and the meaning of earth, and they are the most important order and rules between heaven and earth. Music is a beautiful voice between heaven and earth and a manifestation of morality. Ritual order is dry, and music is in harmony with heaven and earth! So "happiness and harmony between heaven and earth, courtesy and harmony between heaven and earth". Rites and music are popular all over the world, which makes people cultivate their self-cultivation, understand heaven, be modest and polite, and be orderly. This is the connotation and significance of our classical "ritual and music culture".
After the Western Han Dynasty, "Zhou Li" and "Book of Rites" became the required classics for the ancients to govern the country and cultivate themselves, and the civilization of rites and music became the core of Confucian culture.
Le he Tian di
When it comes to "music", most people will think of pop songs, western rock music and orchestral music in modern society. And take music as entertainment. However, China's ancient "music" played a role in educating people.
Ancient sages paid great attention to the influence of music on people's minds, supplemented by music, preached benevolence and righteousness, and educated people. For example, the yellow emperor's music "fairy pool" is connected with the virtue of the gods; Zhuan Xu's music Cloud Gate inherits virtue; Yao Zhile's "big chapter" is widely used; Shao, follow the joy and carry forward the virtues. Its rhythm and melody are peaceful and solemn, with profound implications, guiding people to be good.
A gentleman listens to music, can express his meaning, respects the sky with virtue, cultivates himself with thought, and serves the country with his home. When Confucius learned the piano from Xiangzi and practiced the tune "Wang Wen Cao", he actually felt the lofty spirit contained in the tune and the lofty spiritual realm of forgiveness that the composer wanted to express.
The ancient music South Wind, with its calm and peaceful tune, embodies China's traditional music thought and records Shun Di's deeds of pushing Germany to cherish the distant future and worrying about the country and the people. Shun Di's kindness, kindness, love for the people, diligence, wisdom and talent all combine many virtues. Dayu once conquered Sanmiao by force, but after Sanmiao's defeat, he was unconvinced and soon rose up to rebel. Therefore, Shun Di stopped Dayu's request to crusade against Sanmiao again. After three years of moral preaching, Sanmiao was readily persuaded to change the customs. Shun Di visited the south, regretting that the south is like a fire. It is hot and easy to dry, and people are suffering. When the south wind blows, it rains, which relieves everyone's thirst and heat. Shun Di saw that people in the south of China were so happy in the warm south wind, and they were filled with emotion. They waved banjo and sang loudly: "the south wind can relieve our people's anxiety;" When the south wind blows, it can enrich the people. " He prayed to God for his subjects, tried hard to save all the people in from the mire, strengthened the ritual and music culture and worship activities for the gods, and sang "South Wind" to rule the world.
Learning the way of rites and music can make a gentleman love others, a villain turn evil into good, control personal desires, be simple and upright, be charitable, be quiet and steady, be stable for a long time, conform to nature and last for a long time. Therefore, the ancient rites and music are inseparable from themselves, that is, the so-called "scholar does not withdraw the piano for no reason."
The ancients believed that music was used to reconcile people's emotions and etiquette was used to induce people's hearts. Laws are used to unify people's behavior, and punishment is used to prevent evil deeds. The ultimate purpose of rites, music, punishment and government decrees is the same, and they are all used to unify the people's hearts and realize the truth of governing the country and leveling the world.
Ceremony is reflected in the appearance, and joy is from the heart, so it can be imperceptible. The best music must be peaceful and natural, so that the people have no resentment, then the mob will not rise up, the princes will not submit, and the people will have no worries without using force and various punishments. This shows that music is widely practiced. Then educate people through etiquette, so as to achieve the mastery of etiquette and music and the rule of the world.
If the ceremony shows the order between heaven and earth. Because of order, everything can show differences. No turning back is the essence of etiquette; Solemn obedience is a function of politeness. Rites are used to define the distinction between nobility and inferiority and make people respect each other. Then, music shows the harmony between heaven and earth; Harmony without disorder is the inner spirit of music; Because of harmony, everything can grow; Making people like love is a function of happiness. Music affects people's hearts in different forms, bringing people closer to each other. Rites and music are essentially the same, so all the emperors followed them. They all named the rites and music according to the changes of the times, which should be consistent with their achievements.
Rites and music can't leave the body and mind for a moment. If we study the function of music carefully and strengthen our inner cultivation, then the hearts of simplicity, integrity, love and sincerity will emerge. If you have a simple, honest, loving and honest heart, you will feel happy, happiness will be peaceful, peace will last, persistence will become nature, and naturally you will reach the realm of understanding. Although the sky is silent, it can make people believe. Studying the function of music is to strengthen inner cultivation. The function of etiquette is to correct appearance and behavior, make people solemn, and solemn will have dignity. If there is a moment of injustice and unhappiness in your heart, then despicable and treacherous thoughts will enter; If the appearance is not solemn for a moment, then the idea of frivolous neglect will enter.
Therefore, happiness affects people's hearts, and politeness corrects people's appearance. Joy makes people extremely peaceful, and courtesy makes people extremely obedient. Peace of mind and submissive appearance, then people will not fight with him when they see such eyes and expressions, and they will not have frivolous thoughts when they see such appearance and behavior. Therefore, the glory of virtue germinates in the heart, and people will not disobey it; The code of conduct is obvious and people will not fail to abide by it. Therefore, it is not difficult for the world to examine the principles of ceremony and joy in detail and put them into action.
Traditional rites and music edify people's behavior, so that people are moved by moral brilliance, and the external performance is pure rationality, conforming to the laws of heaven and earth and caring for others. Its educational function can make people distinguish between good and evil and return to the right path. Rites and music civilization reflects people's desire for the truth of heaven and their admiration for moral justice.
Xu Li gan Kun
The Chinese nation has a tradition of understanding, practicing, observing and attaching importance to etiquette, so it is called "the state of etiquette". Etiquette regulates people's morality and behavior in ancient society, is also a symbol of civilization, and is one of the excellent cultural traditions of the Chinese nation.
Among the six traditional arts in China, the word "ceremony" is the first, which fully embodies the tradition that China people attach importance to etiquette. Etiquette has been constantly revised, perfected, inherited and carried forward in history. After the Western Han Dynasty, three classics of etiquette, Yili, Zhou Li and Li Ji, were successively included in the books of scholars, and became required reading for ancient scholars, which played an important role in China culture.
In the past, in the halls of many cultural families, there were plaques of "poetry ceremony", which emphasized the education of "ceremony". The Analects of Confucius records the story that Confucius taught his son to learn manners.
One day, Confucius stood alone in the yard. His child, Kong Li, walked respectfully with small steps and was stopped by Confucius. He asked Kong Li if he had studied etiquette, and Kong Li answeredno. Confucius also said, "If you don't learn etiquette, you can't stand." It is difficult to be a man without learning manners. So Kong Li went back to learn manners. This story has been passed down as a beautiful talk, and it is called "court training" and "poetry training".
The ancients believed that "courtesy" was a code of conduct and moral etiquette that everyone must abide by. Confucius said, "see no evil, don't listen to evil, don't say evil, and don't move if you are evil." Since meaning of etiquette is so important, how can a person who doesn't learn etiquette and doesn't know etiquette stand on the world? This is the truth of "no manners, no status".
So, what is a gift? "Zuo Zhuan Zhao Zhuan Gong Twenty-five Years" said: "Rites are the discipline of ups and downs, the latitude and longitude of heaven and earth, and the reason why people are born." Ceremony is the embodiment of the law of heaven and earth in human society. The so-called "ceremony is in harmony with heaven, and heaven is also". Rites have also become the dividing line between civilization and barbarism. The ancients used etiquette to divide aliens (that is, barbarism and civilization), rather than using blood clan to divide inside and outside.
Ceremony is order, which has strict norms on social order and the relationship between superiors and subordinates. "Zuo Zhuan's Eleven Years of Hidden Gong" said: "Rite, communicate with the country, settle the country, make the people benefit the heirs." Father-son blind date, the young and the old are in order, everyone in the world respects each other, and the explanation ceremony is generally implemented. Rites deeply contain the pursuit of virtue and harmony, the expectation and tolerance of people themselves, the expectation of a better life, the concern and cultivation of aesthetic taste and the coordination of social order.
Etiquette is also the norm of daily life, and its etiquette formulated according to the requirements of benevolence, righteousness, culture, loyalty and faith is all-encompassing. Etiquette is also a way of communication between people, which can be divided into five categories: good luck, fierceness, military, soldiers and kindness. There are dozens of categories, so that the doctrine of the mean has the saying "etiquette is 300, dignity is 3000".
There are many etiquette norms about daily life, food, clothing, housing and transportation, and dealing with people in the famous San Zi Jing. For example, communication between people, how to address each other, how to stand and talk, how to say hello and so on. Even if you eat, you should show your self-cultivation, which is called food ceremony. Behavior conforms to etiquette, which is a manifestation of self-cultivation, and vice versa.
Why should we learn to be polite? It is mentioned in the Book of Rites that in ancient times, people's hearts were simple, there were no rules in everything, and they only acted in good faith. In civilized times, we should pay attention to the interaction between giving and receiving, accept the kindness of others and repay the kindness of others. It is impolite to accept favors without returning them; It's also impolite if you get a reward and don't show kindness to others. The relationship between people can maintain harmony because of the function of etiquette. Without etiquette, there will be a crisis, so etiquette must be learned. "reciprocity" means that others treat each other with courtesy and return with courtesy.
Confucius said, "courtesy is tiring, caution is embarrassing, courage is chaotic, and straightforwardness is twisting." It means that blindly asking for respect, but not knowing how to be polite, will be tired; Blindly asking for caution, but not knowing manners, will become timid; Blindly relying on martial arts, but not knowing the etiquette system, will cause trouble; It will be sharp and hurtful to ask for honesty without understanding the etiquette system. People who live in a superior position can be kind to their parents, and the people will naturally develop a kind atmosphere. People who live in a higher position cannot forget and abandon their old friends, and people naturally will not be indifferent to others.
Confucius said, "What is a gift? Courtesy is the way to do things. A gentleman should know how to do things. Etiquette means reason, and a gentleman can't do it without it. If morality is shallow, ceremony is only empty. All systems are stipulated by rituals. The behavior of the ceremony is also stipulated by the ceremony. A country without courtesy is like a blind person who doesn't know where to go without a guide. No manners, even no rules to give way. This will not lead the people to coordinate their actions. "
As a social code of conduct, according to Confucius, "courtesy" is a code of conduct that everyone from Tian Zi to Shu Ren must abide by. In the Book of Rites, he clearly pointed out: "The position of the monarch and the minister does not distinguish between the old and the young; There is no such thing as indecent assault. "Confucius said:" In fact, the promise between people, as long as it can be realized, is a ceremony; "It's fun to do things that make people happy. Gentlemen strive to achieve these two points, and when they are in the position of rulers, the world will be at peace. Rites and music rise, and the world is governed; Rites and music are corrupt and the world is in chaos. "
It can be seen that the ancients paid attention to "ceremony" to the height of the rise and fall of the country, which has far exceeded the scope of social interpersonal relations. In contrast, many people now ignore the study of the basic etiquette norms that people should know. People regard those who are informal as "chic"; Think of people who wear strange clothes and swear words as "individual". Sitting or not, standing or not, eating or not, dressed untidily, not even greeting their elders, not even thanking others, and being arrogant and overbearing in public places are all manifestations of lack of self-cultivation.
In fact, politeness, appearance and demeanor are important aspects of a person's cultural quality and accomplishment. The Book of Rites holds that the fundamental difference between human beings and animals is not the existence of language, but ritual, which is the difference between civilization and barbarism.
As close neighbors of China, South Korea and Japan developed under the influence of China's traditional culture and etiquette in history, and now they have inherited some etiquette norms. People pay more attention to expressing respect with elegant language and manners.
People often say, "If you go near Zhu Zhechi, you will be black." . By listening to what you hear, you will subtly change a person's ideas and moral habits. Ideas are deeply rooted in your heart, habits become natural, and finally they will naturally be reflected in your behavior.
Confucius said, "see no evil, don't listen to evil, don't say evil, and don't move if you are evil." People are required to strengthen self-cultivation and consciously restrain themselves in order to achieve the coordination of interpersonal relationships.
It is recorded in Zi Jian that Jia Yi, the teacher of Liang at that time, once suggested to Emperor China how to educate the prince on moral etiquette. In his advice, he said: "When the prince was born, the wise monarch in ancient times treated him with etiquette. Relevant officials dressed neatly and solemnly, held ceremonies in the southern suburbs, got off at the palace gate along the way, and walked respectfully and quickly through the ancestral temple. Therefore, the prince is a baby. When the prince was a child, officials of the three officials gave him education on filial piety, benevolence, courtesy and righteousness, so as to drive out evil villains and prevent the prince from seeing evil. At this time, the son of heaven carefully selected people who are honest, filial to their parents, love their brothers, have profound knowledge and know the art of governing the country to defend and assist the prince, so that they can live in harmony with the prince and work together. Therefore, from the time he was born, the prince saw everything right, listened to everything right, and did everything right. He was surrounded by upright people. Always get along with an upright person, his thoughts and words can't be incorrect, just like a person who grew up in Qi, he can't help but speak Qi dialect; If you often get along with crooked people, you will become crooked people, just as people who grew up in Chu can't help speaking Chu dialect. "
Confucius said: "From childhood, it is like nature, and habits are like nature." Learning etiquette and developing intelligence go hand in hand and grow together, so no matter how you learn it, you are worthy of it; Acceptance and enlightenment are formed together with ideas and opinions, so the concept of moral etiquette is like the nature of nature.
The Xia, Shang and Zhou dynasties were able to maintain their rule for a long time because of the system of education assisting the prince. By the Qin dynasty, the situation had completely changed. Qin Shihuang sent Zhao Gao to be Hu Hai's teacher and taught him to decide cases and sentence. What Hu Hai learned was not to behead people and cut off their noses, but to destroy three families. Hu Hai became emperor the day before, and the next day he shot people with an arrow, saying that those who gave advice out of loyalty and righteousness were slandering state affairs, those who had foresight in the country were misleading people by spreading rumors, and killing people was as casual as mowing grass. Is this just because Hu Hai is fierce by nature? It's because Zhao Gao's taste has an improper influence on Hu Hai.
It can be said that the good and evil of the environment has a great influence on a person's moral etiquette. Good intentions are good and evil is evil. If we are in contact with people with high moral character and hear and see healthy and beautiful film and television works, books and music, we will naturally be well influenced and develop in a better direction. If you come into contact with evil villains and are indoctrinated with pornographic and violent things, people's minds will develop in these areas, and even become selfish, greedy and cruel. Similarly, if a person's moral etiquette is very advanced, his words and deeds can also affect and change the surrounding environment.
There was a grandson Qingming in the Northern Wei Dynasty, and the emperor named him frugal. Frugality has been a good man since childhood, with noble morality. Even in his own home, he is solemn every day, so Wendi respects him very much.
At that time, Jing Xiang had just surrendered, and Wendi ordered to build a leader. Often after being the governor of twelve States, because Jingxiang was a wild place at that time, the younger generation never served the elders. I often feel that this bad habit should be changed, so he teaches them the truth of filial piety and turns the local folk customs into kindness.
Later, he often became a senior official. Once, when the emperor was chatting with ministers, he said to them, "This eldest grandson, Shangshu, is dignified and solemn, and he keeps the ceremony solemnly. You sages should imitate his moral character, and only by observing rites can we consolidate the people's base. "
This story tells us that a polite person will exert a subtle influence on the people around him, and we will feel awe when we see him. Therefore, if you want to gain the respect of others, you must first act with dignity. The so-called self-respect and respect for others is the truth.