It is the hope of parents all over the world that children can have a clean and beautiful mind while having a strong body. On the special day of Children's Day, Health Weekly and the Department of Pediatrics of Zhong Da Hospital affiliated to Southeast University collected several cases related to children's mental illness. Professor Tang of Pediatrics reminds parents that a person's mental health is not formed overnight and needs to be cultivated from an early age. As parents, we should not only pay attention to children's physical development, nutritional status, physical diseases and intelligence level, but also understand some symptoms of children's early mental illness and master some identification methods to effectively help children's psychology.

Is the child introverted or autistic?

Case 1: An 8-year-old boy was obviously taken to the hospital by his grandfather. Grandpa said that after the child is born, he won't smile at his relatives, and he doesn't know how to reach out when he hugs him. He is not close to his parents and sometimes looks like a stranger, but when guests come to his house, he will not hide timidly, as if it has nothing to do with him. When I was in kindergarten, the teacher said that he was withdrawn, rarely played with children, and couldn't do some simple games well, so he often became the object of ridicule by children. Some time ago, new curtains were hung in the bedroom, and the children were particularly panicked and often curled up in the corner alone.

Diagnosis: Professor Tang found that he didn't dare to look straight when he saw clearly, and his speech was slurred and his understanding ability was poor. He couldn't understand some complicated sentences, and his little hand kept moving and repeatedly buckled. After careful comprehensive evaluation, experts finally diagnosed autism.

Experts point out that such children will have some abnormal behaviors and personality defects after birth, but their parents regard them as introverts just because they are busy with work and lack relevant knowledge, and they will naturally get better when they grow up. Some parents don't want people to know that their children are abnormal and eccentric because of face problems. They often beat and scold their children, and some even lock them at home. In this way, their children's already sick psychology is hurt, which leads to the deterioration of their condition.

What are the symptoms of autism?

Professor Tang said that children's autism has four symptoms, which should be paid attention to. 1, don't smile at relatives, don't reach out and be hugged. 2, social difficulties, dare not communicate with people, rarely play with children. 3. Language development is slow, and the ability to understand and express language is low. Lack of imagination and social simulation, can not use toys to "cook", "drive a train" and "build a house" like normal children. 4. Rituals and compulsions. Due to the lack of change and imagination, children often insist on repeating rigid game modes, such as groping repeatedly, always playing with their toes, and expressing opposition and anxiety about any change in the room.

Case 2: 7-year-old blossoming, growing up in a strange place, will cry desperately. Now I am in a strange place, and I am still in psychological panic. Some time ago, the exam was not ideal, and her parents severely reprimanded her. Duo Duo became unwilling to talk or even go to school, saying that her classmates would laugh at her. Recently, my mother didn't sleep with blossoming because of a business trip, and blossoming appeared symptoms such as loss of appetite, heartbeat, shortness of breath, sweating, frequent urination and headache. When the room is dark, I dare not go alone, I can't sleep well at night, I often have nightmares, and I have nocturia.

Diagnosis: Experts found that many children suffered from anxiety disorder and showed some somatization symptoms. Professor Tang pointed out that children's anxiety disorder is common in school-age children, especially girls. Children's anxiety disorder is closely related to congenital quality and acquired environmental factors. The quality of blossoming itself is sensitive, lacking in self-confidence, strong self-esteem, and easy to be nervous and worried. Parents don't understand their children's psychological characteristics, are simple and rude to their children, and improper educational methods will lead to insomnia and anxiety. Clinically, these children are often sent to see a doctor by their parents when they have serious anxiety symptoms and somatization symptoms. Mild anxiety disorder can be cured by early intervention and family assistance, but severe anxiety disorder is harmful, which will affect children's intellectual development and induce psychological diseases such as depression and inferiority, and needs comprehensive treatment.

Anxiety disorders are divided into five categories.

Experts pointed out that children's anxiety is divided into five categories: 1, qualitative anxiety. Children are too sensitive to subtle changes in the outside world. 2. Situational anxiety. The child's psychology is unbearable for emergencies. 3. Dissociative anxiety. When children are separated from their relatives, especially their parents, there will be obvious anxiety. 4. Anxiety of expectation. Parents expect too much from their children, and children are afraid of not meeting their parents' expectations and being blamed by their parents. 5. Environmental anxiety. Some families are divorced and unharmonious, and children live in contradictory environments, resulting in anxiety such as timidity, unsociable and neuroticism.

Prevention of children's psychological problems is more important than treatment.

Professor Tang suggested that, on the one hand, parents should understand their children's psychological characteristics, their curiosity, and their love of imitation and innovative thinking. Children's psychological characteristics and behavior patterns are often compared with children of the same age. On the other hand, parents should also create a good family environment for their children and carry out scientific family education. Strive to maintain a consistent attitude towards educating children and create a good family atmosphere; In family education, children should not be given everything they want, but should be trained to face and overcome difficulties from an early age.

If you find that your child has psychological problems, you should go to the hospital for treatment in time. Psychologists make adjustments in a planned and step-by-step manner to achieve the purpose of treatment. Behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, supportive psychotherapy and sensory integration therapy are commonly used to treat children's psychological problems. In the process of treatment, the cooperation of parents is essential.

Reveal the reasons of children's rebellious psychology

According to relevant surveys, 5% to 15% of preschool children will have different degrees of rebellious psychology. Therefore, parents and friends should not worry too much, but should recognize the specific reasons for the baby's rebellious psychology in advance, and then take precautions in advance. So what are the reasons why specific children have rebellious psychology? Let's meet together.

1, unrealistic expectations

In order to let their children get ahead in the future, many parents often force their children to learn this and that, regardless of their hobbies, and force them to do things that they can't do for a while. This kind of practice often backfires, because it ignores the children's own quality and ability, which is easy to cause children's rebellious emotions. As parents, don't ask too much, but ask for something slightly higher than the child's actual ability, so that the child can complete the task through hard work. In this way, children can not only enjoy happiness, but also enhance their self-confidence after success.

2. Be too strict with children

The concept of "defeating the enemy without fighting" may still exist in the minds of some parents. From time to time, they satirize and dig at children, and even beat them with force, which hurts their self-esteem and often leads to bad consequences. In fact, parents should understand and respect their children, treat them as a small partner who has begun to have an independent consciousness, discuss things, treat them as equals, be persuasive, convince others by reasoning and be emotional. Never push too hard.

3. Restrain children's curiosity

For children in the growth and development stage, the world is full of magic. However, many adults don't understand children's curiosity and exploration psychology, and think that this is fooling around, and some even beat and scold children, which can easily cause children's dissatisfaction. Smart parents can tell their children: We also want to know what you want to know. If you tell mom and dad, we will try our best to help you answer the questions. This not only satisfies the child's curiosity, but also makes the child understand a lot of truth.

4, repeated nagging, chattering.

Some parents are afraid that their children will not listen, so they will talk endlessly. Imagine, can children stay in this "marathon" preaching environment for a long time without rebellious psychology? Even if children know that their parents are right, they don't want to listen.

The above four are typical reasons for children's rebellious psychology. I hope that parents should pay more attention to their words and deeds when getting along with their children. When children are rebellious, parents should actively carry out moderate education and take their children to see a professional doctor when necessary.

How to deal with children's strange behavior

The child's strange behavior can be shown everywhere: at the red light, you can see in the rearview mirror that even if you let her use a tissue, she still picks her nose with her hand; When you were in the swimming pool, your daughter took off all her clothes and insisted on wearing boots and a skirt on her head. Your child likes biting his nails, sucking her ponytail and so on. What should parents do in the face of their children's strange behavior?

Choose your battlefield

When your little guy still has some strange child behaviors, you should be rational. The first step is to find out whether this behavior is bad for children. For example, biting nails, unless the child bites nails and bleeds, then parents don't need to worry about this behavior. Picking your nose is usually relatively harmless when choosing a battlefield. Check around the child to avoid any danger.

Therefore, when it comes to the innocent weird behaviors of children, try to suppress your anger and learn to get along with them. In addition, these weird behaviors will disappear over time. And if you insist on not letting your baby suck hair, it may be counterproductive, which may lead to an unprecedented enthusiasm for sucking hair.

Consider the reason.

If your child comforts himself with strange behavior, it means that you will observe his behavior for a long time and then stop him. Sucking thumb, twisting hair or swinging limbs may be a way for children to cope with stress, which may help him solve difficult problems in life, such as changes in day care, new siblings or toilet training. If your child's daily life has changed or has been troubled recently, you may need to observe his behavior more and solve the root of his distress.

think of a way

1. Set the behavior safety zone. In other words, weird children's behavior is allowed, but its scope is limited. List the behaviors that children are forbidden to do to avoid weird behaviors in public. So, in the end, learning these restrictive behaviors may break her habits.

2. Provide substitutes. Every time a child starts to behave strangely, you can distract him with other objects. For example, when your daughter starts to suck her braids, you can say, "We don't suck hair. Look here, there is a straw and a glass of water! " "

3. Expected behavior. If you know that children like to bite their nails when listening to stories, then you can keep them busy, such as holding toys in their hands so that they can't bite their nails.

4. Keep a long-term vision. Do you ignore the child's strange behavior, or try to guide her away from it? Don't worry, these weird behaviors will disappear eventually.

Early childhood education: Children who can play are smarter.

Gabriela Madrid, a Costa Rican educator and psychologist, once pointed out that sports and play are the best "tools" for children to learn to observe, know, understand, speak and move, which can promote children's intellectual development. He pointed out that scientific practice has proved that among children aged 2-5, the brains of children who like to play are at least 30% larger than those who don't. Because, in the process of sports and play, children have to complete dozens of actions related to brain and thinking activities, such as mastering balance, coordinating psychology and dealing with problems. Professor Masayuki Saida, a famous Japanese educator, found in a large number of experimental studies that the human brain completed 60% of its development before the age of 3 and 90% before the age of 6. Therefore, 0-6 years old is the golden age to develop the baby's brain. Parents should cherish this prime time and spend more time with their children.

Playing is a seemingly casual and joyful thing, but it also requires science and creativity. Parents are children's best playmates. You can open a window for him and lead a young life to touch this real and colorful world. Games played by parents after 1970s and 1980s as children, such as playing glass balls, hopscotch, jumping rubber bands, shooting foreign films and throwing sandbags, are gradually replaced by various high-tech toys and electronic products. Nowadays, children often watch TV and play games for hours at a time, which limits their creativity and practical ability. Parents should guide their children out of this misunderstanding.

Exercise strengthens the body and brain.

Many studies have found that children who like sports are smarter and have better memories than those who don't. Pan Hui told reporters that purposeful exercise can exercise children's coordination ability and body balance ability between various senses, tap the potential of physical function, and be of great benefit to brain development.

In all kinds of sports, skipping rope is a good choice. It is a whole-body activity, which can not only accelerate gastrointestinal peristalsis and blood circulation, but also promote the metabolism of the whole body, make children feel excited, make children ingenious, cultivate children's mathematical thinking in the process of counting, make the language clear and smooth, and finally promote the coordinated development of children's intelligence, physical strength and adaptability.

Tell stories before going to bed every day.

Every night at the bedside, under the warm light, the children lean in their parents' arms and listen to their stories. This is the happiest time for children to grow up.

Scientific research shows that reading to babies often can help them establish special feelings with their parents. Babies like to hear familiar sounds, and the words, pictures and stories in the book can stimulate their brain development.

It is very important to cultivate children's reading habits from an early age. Children who like reading prefer to think, and their learning ability will be stronger after going to school in the future. Relatively speaking, their emotions will be more stable, their personalities will be calmer, more self-disciplined and their knowledge will be wider.

"It is unscientific for some parents to take teaching their children to learn literacy as their main purpose after they get the books." Wang Zhengyan told reporters that children should be interested in reading. "Reading has great benefits. It leaves a broad imagination space for children, unlike TV, which has a specific picture. Children can freely use their imagination and creativity through written descriptions. " Lu Jie suggested that parents should try their best to find time to read with their children, read their favorite books with them and discuss the details of the books together, so that children will gradually fall in love with reading.

Playing with water and sand is creative.

In the summer afternoon, cicadas were singing, and a little boy squatted quietly in the yard, carefully observing the "ant camp". From time to time, he gently stopped the ant's way with twigs and observed the changes of the ant's route. The boy squatted for a long time, patiently letting his mother on the side not bear to disturb him. Mother just reminded him to observe from different angles and guided him to learn to think in observation. This is the godson scene of Wen Yang, a famous child-rearing expert.

Lu Jie told reporters that the rich and mysterious nature is the best source of children's imagination. Parents should always bring their children close to nature and let them feel the wonder of nature. "The tranquility and harmony of nature, fresh, fresh and endless breath can explore children's imagination and creativity, and also cultivate children's spirit of loving nature, life and science. Therefore, nature is the best place to play. " The International Children's Game Rights Association has published a research report that simple recreational activities such as climbing trees and building sand castles, which are being abandoned by modern children, are indispensable for children's growth.

"Many children like to play with water and sand. Sand has strong plasticity and can improve children's creativity, so parents can get a small beach on the balcony, which is also an opportunity for children to get close to nature. " Wang Zhengyan said.

Try to say less overlapping words.

How many parents are happy at the moment when the child speaks. That was the first time they expressed it in words. From then on, children began to babble and opened the door to language. A study in the United States shows that more communication between parents and children will make children smarter in the future. In the process of language learning, children are accompanied by psychological activities such as perception, memory, thinking and imagination. Therefore, the development of language ability will inevitably promote the development of children's intelligence.

The best time for children's language development is before the age of 6. If we lose no time in training children during this period, the effect will be twice as effective. Just like the seeds sown in spring, there will be good growth and harvest. During this period, parents should communicate with their children more and develop their language skills.

Lu Jie reminded parents to try to use standard language when talking with their children. Parents are teachers of children's language, and the language and tone used by parents will affect children. 0-3 years old is the development period of children's oral English. Parents' tone should be soft, friendly, confident and calm. Don't use overlapping sounds such as "eat rice", and don't imitate the child's tone in a low voice, which will make the child feel insecure. However, you can repeat what you said, such as "eat, eat", to deepen your child's impression. For children aged 3-6, parents don't need to repeat what they said. Look the child in the eye and say it seriously. When children don't respond, parents should find a better solution. They can't raise the volume and open their eyes rudely, and children will become irritable and even have resistance.

Leave a graffiti wall.

Interest and satisfaction always bring happiness. As we all know, children learn more easily when they are happy. Therefore, parents should conform to their children's nature and support their hobbies under the premise of safety.

1-8 years old is the best time to use graffiti to exercise children's graphic thinking, imagination and develop their right brain. Parents should give their children a free heart and a pair of free hands, and let them paint their hearts colorful in imagination. It is far more important for parents to create a "creative wall" for their children than a tidy home.

"Hobbies are not equal to interest classes." Lu Jie told reporters that many interest classes just make children learn boring, which is not necessarily what children like to do. For example, in painting class, it is often more about learning painting skills and painting apples in the truest and roundest way, but children's imagination and creativity are limited. Parents should pay attention to observe and see what their children are interested in, and then provide conditions for their children to remain curious. For example, raise a small pot of plants and observe the process of germination, leaf spitting and flowering; Or do a small scientific experiment with children at home to let them know about the phenomena in life.

How to make children sensible and obedient

1, keep your word

Parenting experts point out that if the range from 1 to 10 represents the importance of the principle of correct child discipline (the higher the number, the more important it is), then words and deeds can be represented by 12!

Why are you doing this?

When you say you can't do it, your words and deeds will make your child an opportunist. Because they knew they could escape, they tried their best to do so. But when they know what you will do or what will happen if you make a mistake, they can predict the consequences of what kind of behavior they choose, which helps them learn to control themselves.

How to do this?

When it comes to doing it, the most important part is not to be soft-hearted and not to give in before this time. Summarize the rules that you think are the most important, and what will happen if you break them. Then, tell all this to your children.

For many parents, it is difficult to control themselves from criticizing their children. Therefore, please think twice before you speak. The different tone and wording you use will be very different. Like to say: I love you, but your behavior is unacceptable to me. This kind of words will sound difficult at first, but after a while, children will naturally understand what you mean.

In other cases, explain to them what you expect them to do. If you want to take them to the supermarket, tell them not to move, don't take the goods, and warn them of the consequences if they violate it.

What you say requires you to carry it out from beginning to end, don't threaten loudly.

2. Don't underestimate children.

Calling the child's name or the next conclusion (like "you are so careless") are the two most ineffective methods. This will only hurt the child's self-esteem. Therefore, try not to be stingy with your criticism of children's behavior.

Why are you doing this?

Parenting experts point out that children will not feel bad about themselves because you punish them. This feeling may pass, but repeated criticism (why are you always so unfriendly to others) may produce a lingering negative feeling.

How to do this?

This implies that you trust your child and he has the ability to do better. In the end, it also promotes children to make better behaviors. Self-esteem comes from correct behavior. The child's subconscious will think like this: If I do it right, I will feel good about myself. If I can get a good feeling by doing the right thing, I want to do it again next time.

3. Educate children with appreciation.

The correct meaning of discipline is teaching (reading). If you discipline your children only through punishment, you will lose many opportunities to give them correct guidance. For example, if a child picks up a toy, you can remind her in a specific way, such as rewarding her with a small snack. What do you want her to do will have a better effect.

Why are you doing this?

It may be hard for you to believe, but always think that he wants to be a good boy. But he is also eager to get other people's attention. For example, he can only get your attention if he throws toys at children ... I think you can understand what I mean. When he does a good job, give him more encouragement and praise, which will motivate the child to do better next time.

If others praise the child's good behavior, parents are advised to convey these praises to the child, which will make him proud and leave a deeper impression on the child's mind than the parents' praise.

How to do this?

You don't have to praise your child just because he said please, but when you praise him, you should be specific and not just say "well done" in general. Instead, you should say, "Your clothes are neat and clean today, which is good." This way, the child will know what kind of behavior you will praise him and why.

Praise is praise. Avoid adding any extra words to compliments. Say something like, "You keep your room clean and tidy. Why can't you do it every day? " This seemingly praise is actually a comment on writing, which is not good.

Step 4 control yourself

It's not just children who make mistakes by shouting, slamming doors and being rude. Few parents can boast that they have never lost control when disciplining their children, and most of us will regret our behavior afterwards.

Anger out of control will affect the outcome of your efforts to discipline your children. If children are always shouting, they will learn nothing. On the contrary, once he gets used to your way, he will turn a deaf ear to your words, and gradually he will turn a deaf ear to your criticism or praise.

Why are you doing this?

Disciplining a child with a cool head will make him feel that your teaching is objective and fair, and he is willing to do what you ask him to do with great interest.

How to do this?

Think about how to calm yourself down when you want to be angry in the future. Count from 1 to 10, or take a few deep breaths, or walk away for a while. But if these methods still don't help, you will eventually lose your temper with your child out of control. Remember to apologize sincerely to your child afterwards and tell him that you are human and make mistakes, but you can admit and correct your mistakes.

Step 5 explain the consequences

Children often grow up under the wrong idea that the consequences are punishment. The word "consequences" is understood as something bad will happen if you don't stop doing it. Tell children that the consequence is the result of any kind of behavior-punishment or reward.

Why are you doing this?

Give children a deeper sense of cause and effect: what they do is up to them, which will teach them a sense of responsibility. Tell the child: if you don't help me, I will do more things myself. Then I don't have time to do anything else.

How to do this?

Get into the habit of explaining the reasons to the child after he makes a request, and occasionally reward his behavior. For example, on the way to the ice cream shop, you can say: You did a good job today, and I want to treat you to something to eat. When punishment must be taken, it is related to the behavior that leads to this punishment result. For example, if your 6-year-old son bullies others, you can revoke his privilege of watching cartoons at night and let him know what will happen if he shows aggression to others again.

6. State your values

In correcting children's wrong behavior, your most important task is to raise children and become a good person. Although we all agree with the qualities that a good person should have: honesty, respect for others and generosity, in fact, every family focuses on different things. The most important thing is to consider what values you want your child to learn, which is also part of educating your child.

Why are you doing this?

Nowadays, children are influenced by a lot of bad information from outside, such as what adults are hypocritical and eat, drink, and be merry in time ... Therefore, we should always pass on what we think is right to children so as not to get lost in a mixed society.

How to do this?

Arrange your education according to your values, if you try to convey to your children a sense of responsibility that family members should take care of each other. Please think carefully before rewarding your child to do something trivial.

Children will gradually turn our values into their own. This has accomplished our goal-to turn the education of children into self-discipline of children.

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