However, many parents find that under this democratic education model, children have not been fully developed, but the degree of laziness is getting higher and higher. Over time, many parents say that this educational model is not necessarily suitable for children.
An extremely self-disciplined daughter left her parents to go to her grandmother's house, but lost her original good habits.
I always thought that my daughter Huanhuan was a planned and organized child, at least under my management. It can be said that the happy life on weekdays has always followed my footsteps.
In order to better educate children, I follow the educational method of parents' words and deeds, hoping to influence children through my daily words and deeds.
In order to better develop children's study and living habits, I usually let my children study by my side at work, and let her develop the habit of reading before going to bed at night. My children's living habits are similar to mine, but there is one thing that makes me completely give up the education method of setting an example.
This winter vacation, the child's grandmother wants to take the child back to live for a period of time. The father of the child thinks that no one will relax when the child returns to his hometown, because his daughter is in the sixth grade this year and will soon be promoted to junior high school. This year is still crucial.
But I am confident to tell my husband that the daily habit of huanhuan has been developed almost, and I can restrain myself well wherever I go. But I was naive. I underestimated how irresistible the temptation of the outside world to a child was, and I overestimated the influence of my words and deeds on the child.
Sure enough, Huanhuan went to grandma's house. At first, she would read books before going to bed every day. Later, I watched TV every night, slept and played with my mobile phone, and my study plan on weekdays was not completed on time.
When I went to see Huanhuan, I found that she didn't even finish the holiday homework left by the teacher, let alone the study habits she developed on weekdays. When I went to check Huanhuan's study plan, it was obvious that the child was afraid, a fear that he had done something wrong.
I usually educate Huanhuan in the hope that she can understand that learning is for herself, but today it seems that no matter how subtle I am, children can't really love learning.
The way parents lead by example is too naive. Why can't children always be educated to be what they want?
1. In China, parents are more like elders than friends.
As we all know, the education method of parents' words and deeds itself comes from the west. For many years, the western education concept is democracy, equality, freedom and love, which makes the traditional education method untenable gradually.
Western education methods are not all suitable for children in China, because in the West, the relationship between parents and children tends to be friends, while in China, the relationship between parents and children tends to be hierarchical. China people think that role models are actually a disguised form of pressure on children.
2. Never underestimate the influence of external temptation on children.
With the development of the times, the temptations of the outside world have become more complicated and changeable, and it is difficult for adults to get rid of these temptations, let alone a child. I believe it is difficult for a child to make a decision to study instead of playing games. For any child with good study habits, when he knows that he can play electronic software happily, how much weight do you think learning plays in his heart?
Children's self-control cannot be changed by their parents' education.
As mentioned above, children are tempted by many electronic products during their growth, and it is difficult for them to completely resist these temptations, and their self-control is based on getting rid of them.
I believe everyone knows that it is very difficult to keep children's lives completely away from these external temptations. To improve children's self-control, we can't just rely on parents' words and deeds. At this time, children need not only democratic words and deeds, but also parental restraint.
Therefore, democratic education cannot be generalized, and words and deeds are not all.
1. Because the way of example education is overestimated.
Words and deeds have an impact on children, but these effects should not be over-amplified. Many parents who appreciate the teaching method of words and deeds will think that words and deeds are an educational method that can make children and themselves progress together. This is really true. However, this subtle way of education will also collapse in the face of great temptation.
2. Democratic education methods are also easy to raise lazy children.
The idea of western democratic education refers to giving children freedom and care in life on the premise of fully respecting them, so as to explore their inner potential. In this era, every child is very clever and will bargain with his parents. In this extremely liberal democratic education mode, they know how to be lazy.
3. Due consideration should also be given to the high-pressure education policy.
In recent years, the high-pressure education policy has been suppressed because there are many children with high scores and low abilities. Many children commit suicide because of excessive pressure, and the whole society is very sad.
However, this does not mean that the high-pressure education policy is not desirable. In the face of children's laziness and lack of self-control, parents should also adopt certain high-pressure policies to restrain their children's behavior, and they cannot all believe in their self-control.
So, how should parents educate their children more comprehensively?
1. Democracy and coercion complement each other.
Many educators have said that forcing children to study will only backfire in the end, which is not conducive to their all-round development.
But it is hard to believe that when a child is given a free choice, he will definitely give up the game and choose to study. Therefore, for children's education, parents should seek common ground while reserving differences, democracy and coercion should go hand in hand, and children should not be forced to learn too much, but parents should also play a role in supervising their children's learning.
2. Different children have different education.
Every child's personality is different, and their inner potential is different, so you can't treat your children with other people's educational methods. When you find that your child has no talent in learning, you can also focus on cultivating his other interests.
3. Help children overcome inertia.
Inertia is the biggest natural enemy in the history of human development, so it is difficult to put all the trust on children's self-control. For many adults, it takes a lot of perseverance to overcome inertia, not to mention being a child.
Therefore, as parents, it is necessary to help children overcome inertia. When children are lazy and don't study, parents can accompany them to overcome inertia and study together. Isn't this a kind of loving democratic education?
The process of children's growth is a process of constant imitation and self-exploration. At the same time, children will also be tempted by other outside world. In this era, the temptation of children has far exceeded the limit that human nature can bear. What adult can promise not to watch mobile phones all day?
Therefore, while setting an example, parents should also consider the influence of huge temptations from electronic products and other aspects on their children. It can be seen that it is very naive to educate children only by superficial words and deeds.