The so-called old adage, "If the son doesn't teach, the father is guilty", has become the most powerful weapon for the media and society to punish parents for their educational responsibilities.
It must be admitted that parents are children's natural teachers, which will have a far-reaching impact on children's life in a subtle way. Parents can't pass the buck when their children have problems. Because, living in the same family, when a child has a big problem in some way, parents can't have no feelings at all. Well-intentioned reminders, warnings, daily education and supervision are indispensable.
However, we can't ignore this situation. Although parents want their children to succeed in teaching, there are always some children who will fall into such a dilemma. Then, after the accident, it is unreasonable and biased to simply blame all the children. Because the success of a person's education in modern society cannot be separated from the three mother bodies of family, school and society.
Family education, school education and social education are trinity, which coordinate with each other and jointly build a complete education system. We can't ignore the public responsibility of children's education.
In addition, compared with those children who usually perform well, there is a very important way of education, that is, people's self-education. Problems may occur anywhere in this world, such as parents' separation and divorce, school's pursuit of grades, social corruption and injustice, and so on. At any time and anywhere, when there is a problem in the living environment, one's self-learning, self-education and self-control are particularly important.
So, what does "the son doesn't teach, the father is guilty" mean? Where is its source?
People who know China's traditional children's books almost agree that it comes from Saint Amethyst. But in fact, the original text in St. Amethyst is "If you don't teach, your father is guilty, your teaching is lax and your teacher is lazy." It is not appropriate not to learn. What can I do if I don't learn? According to the popular explanation, it means: "It is the father's fault that he didn't educate his children well. Educating students is not strict, which is laziness as a teacher It is wrong to be a child without studying hard; When I was young, I refused to study hard. What can I do when I am old? "
Some educational scholars believe that the original meaning of "teaching" in the sentence "If you don't teach, it's your father's fault" should be "sending your children to receive education", rather than educating them personally. Why do you say that? This stems from China's tradition of "teaching students according to their aptitude".
"Mencius? Li Lou recorded: Gong Sunchou asked Mencius, "Why did a gentleman change his son and teach?" Mencius replied: "This is limited by the actual situation. To educate children, we must teach them in the right way. If the father does this and the child doesn't listen, the father will be angry, punish the child and hurt the child's feelings; On the other hand, if a child demands his father's words and deeds according to what he usually sees, it will not hurt his feelings and face as a father. "The same is true. When a father teaches his son by himself, it is easy to produce contradictions and hurt feelings. Therefore, the ancients gave their children to others for education, in order not to blame each other between father and son. This is the truth of "teaching children with change".
"Yan family training?" "Godson" also explains this practice: "The reason why a gentleman teaches by changing his son is because there are sarcastic and abusive verses in (poetry), warnings inconvenient to convey in (ceremony), records of rebellion in (book), accusations of fornication in (Spring and Autumn Period) and divination in (Yi), all of which are things that a father cannot tell his children directly.
In this way, the responsibility of education has always involved teachers and schools.
I admit that parents are the first responsible person for children's education. However, what have our schools and society done for children? Today, in addition to desperately instilling those boring numbers and formulas, teachers may not even have time to learn how to behave, how to study and how to do things. Coupled with the proliferation of pornography, violence and other bad online information, children are like fish living in muddy water. How can they not get lost?
Nowadays, it has become a common phenomenon that teenagers lack ideals, beliefs and life goals. With the constant occurrence of various extreme events, it cannot be said that there are problems in the educational environment and system.
Then, whether it is the revision of The Amethyst or someone's re-creation, the sentence "My son didn't teach, but my father was wrong" will have no more meaning if we go deeper.
Yesterday, the college entrance examination, which challenged the limits of China children, came to an end again. Every year at this time, I will inexplicably breathe a sigh of relief with the children in the college entrance examination.
I sincerely hope that children and their parents in China can live a more relaxed and happy life.