Faced with rebellious children, they are not only helpless, but also sad, helpless and deeply lost.
Then there is the blame. The object of blame is yourself, blaming yourself for incompetence, blaming yourself for improper education, and sometimes even trying to escape from reality.
However, time is a good medicine, which will make rebellious children grow up gradually and let parents find better ways to solve these problems. Suspicious, the future is bright.
Give you some advice. When we become parents, reading more books and attending more lectures can improve our understanding and learn better solutions from other people's experience. Take precautions.
Children's rebellious period is normal, and they can't face it correctly and solve it correctly. This is the abnormality of their parents. When we are parents, we should keep learning and improve our own quality in order to be qualified parents.
People of every age will receive different information from the outside world and have different needs for themselves! When the baby is unconscious, he eats and sleeps and grows well. When he was young, he could walk, talk, play, experience the wonderful world, have parents to play with him and toys.
As a teenager, the basic needs of eating, drinking and having fun have passed. At this time, I can quickly receive and digest information, analyze independently, and have a strong sense of self. It is good for parents, because it marks the beginning of children's real growth! At the same time, we should also pay attention to children's mental health, because at this age, although they can analyze all kinds of things independently, they can't tell the truth from the truth. We adults' discriminating ability is summed up through countless social contact lessons, which we call experience.
And experience can only preach, not directly affect children. Just now they are desperately eager for outside recognition, which leads to children's rebellion and confrontation with their parents.
In fact, how different are we adults and rebellious children? At work, we hope to be recognized by our colleagues, praised by our leaders and encouraged by our boss! In love, we hope to get each other's affirmation. In family, we hope to experience the intimacy of children and the trust and support between husband and wife!
What people pursue is basically the same, so we can understand that rebellious children have some behaviors that we don't recognize! Because what they urgently need is what we try our best to get, but they are not bound and suppressed by us!
So please give them more support! Encourage! Recognition and love.
Rebellious children? Parents have a responsibility. If they are not used to it, spoiled, spoiled, how can they rebel? Only parents can guide them slowly and cultivate their outlook on life.
I learned from Lu Qin, an education expert, that rebellious children mean that parents and teachers have to do everything against each other, so children need more care and love, and slowly guide them in a good direction!
I think it is normal for children to rebel, which is a normal physiological reaction. If they don't resist, they are not normal. My views are as follows:
1, children's rebellious period is a stage of fertility development, there is no need to make a fuss. The rebellious child shows that the child is in the growth stage, and his understanding and views on things gradually have his own ideas, which shows that he is actively thinking about problems, not just accepting them when he is young;
2. Children are in a rebellious period, which is to attract parents' attention. Parents should pay attention to it in time and communicate with their children more;
Children in rebellious period always think that their views are right. Parents should listen with an open mind and don't rush to express their views or say that their children are wrong. In the early stage, we should agree with his point of view more, and then gradually express our own point of view so that he can think again.
4. Children in the rebellious period have great emotional fluctuations. Parents and children should be friends and have a heart-to-heart talk, otherwise they will turn their backs on you.
Yes, there are times like this Children who have just grown up feel that they have understood the true meaning of life and their views are the most correct. Coupled with the convenience of social media now, it is easy for them to find a bosom friend, so as to stick to their opinions more. In fact, many of their opinions are correct, which we have insisted on, but life forces us to compromise. They have not experienced the pain of nailing, and of course they will not believe us. In this case, the elders should not take them too seriously. It is best to let them fully express their opinions without affecting their study, and let their thoughts exist without going astray. Everyone has a process of progress, and we are making progress ourselves. Later, with the growth of age and knowledge, I will change myself.
If the child's stubbornness affects the normal study life, it will attract attention. It's best to find someone they can trust to do the work. Depending on the situation, the attitude can be appropriately tough.
I have a daughter of 16 years old who is in a rebellious period. I have a lot to say when I see this problem.
When my daughter was a child, she was a typical good girl, obedient and sensible, and rarely let people worry. However, this situation only lasted until 13 years old. The junior high school student lived for a year. As she grew older, she gradually changed and began to rebel. What she said is no longer as unconditional as before. She always finds some reasons, sometimes she starts a soft confrontation, and then she gets angry when she says it. Since then, our fight against our daughter's rebellion and rebellion has officially started.
She is now a sophomore, and her academic performance has been declining again and again. She also has insufficient motivation to learn, poor self-control and lack of self-discipline, and she has become lazy. She has nothing to say to us. As long as she gets home, she will shut herself in her room and stay indoors for a long time. She won't say much to her parents, and she will lose her temper if she is slightly unhappy.
Others can be tolerated, but entering high school is the first priority. We were worried when we looked at it, so we advised her to concentrate on her studies and give way to everything else. She promised on the surface, but it turned a deaf ear and remained the same.
I began to give her reasons and examples seriously. Anyway, I have said everything I can think of, and the effect is not obvious. I changed my method and began to persuade and scold. Sometimes I catch her big shortcomings or faults and criticize her severely. I can scold her for crying every time. But after scolding, it is still useless. Sometimes, her mother and I play the good COP and the bad COP, but we still won't listen to what others say.
But if she has any ideas, she will try her best to satisfy us. For example, last year, she wanted a new mobile phone. I know that she likes playing mobile phones, which will definitely affect her study, so I don't agree. She started threatening us with her own tricks. When I got home, I didn't eat much, didn't study much, and it was useless to tell her about my interests, so I finally had to compromise.
The epidemic is at home, and I want to urge her to review and study well, but as long as she finishes the homework and study tasks assigned by the teacher, she begins to relax. I am not good at studying and reviewing at all. I said it many times, but it didn't improve. It also makes the family angry all day and in a bad mood. I hardly talk about her now.
In fact, such a big child knows everything you say, even the teacher has said it many times, but she just won't listen. Why? She doesn't have much pressure, no self-discipline, little thought about the future, no clear goal, and muddle along.
People's character is innate. Some children in the rebellious period are sensible enough to listen to advice and gradually correct their mistakes in life, while some children are blindly rebellious, simply do not understand their parents' good intentions and only act according to their own wishes.
What is a father? A good teacher. As parents, their love for their children is uncompromising. They all want their children to succeed, but the hope is beautiful and the reality is cruel.
Children in the rebellious period have their own ideological and psychological characteristics and their own laws and methods in this period. We should also understand and respect them, but we must not let ourselves go. We should be full of love, patience, perseverance, pay attention to methods and skills, identify children's ideological understanding and needs, be targeted guides and educators for children, and let them take fewer detours and return to a normal psychological state as soon as possible.
Although I understand the truth, I also want to ask you how to make rebellious children less rebellious, more rational and more sunny.
It's true. A child who is sensible from an early age will become unreasonable. My daughter has been obedient and sensible since she was a child, and her academic performance has been in the top three in her class. She is also the monitor of junior high school. Who would have thought that she was addicted to online games in the second semester of senior high school, and handed in the monitor herself, bent on playing games. Her academic performance plummeted and she almost got angry because she didn't listen to advice. She doesn't listen to the teacher at school, and she doesn't like that teacher or even him. Even in winter, the teacher can't help her. Finally, we can't take her to work in the fields and factories, let her exercise and let her know that the work is not easy. When she is tired, she studies hard. Everything is used, and she doesn't eat hard or soft. She was really helpless at that time. Finally, she went to a vocational high school and obeyed in high school. Now she is very sensible and filial. For about a year, I always ignored him when I talked to him. I learned from my daughter's bad judgment. I didn't want to be hard at first, but I used soft ones, because hard ones would be counterproductive. If I don't like what I say, I will talk less about him, and then I will be fine and back to normal. Contrary to his daughter at that time, his son's academic performance in high school advanced by leaps and bounds, with 30 points in English for the senior high school entrance examination and 1 18 points in English for the college entrance examination. Finally, my efforts were not in vain, rebellious period.
This period is crucial, and improper education may lead to great disasters, so parents must take this seriously, not force it. My children are two daughters, and it is easier to communicate. She will talk to me and understand the children's thoughts. Because we are both experienced people, I graduated from a first-class university myself. I wanted to communicate with my father since I was a child, and I changed many ways, but I couldn't. I remember writing to my father in high school and being rejected. Think about it, he doesn't care what I think. Why should I care what he thinks? I want to go to college as soon as possible and marry abroad. Don't let me communicate with such a stubborn person. I haven't been able to communicate with my father until now. He is strong at home! My mother doesn't want to be at home either, which is a failure of education!
A person, whether parents or children, should respect other people's ideas, and others will respect yours! [Rose] [Rose] [Rose] [Rose] [Rose] [Rose] [Rose]