In psychology, there is a word called "parental hunger", which is closely related to some behaviors of children during their growth.
For example, many parents will wonder: Why do my boys lack masculinity and even be called sissy? Why do grown-up daughters love others so lowly? Why do children refuse to communicate with their parents during adolescence and become more and more rebellious? The source of the answers to these questions that deeply confuse parents is the lack of father's role in parenting education!
1. The root cause of children's lack of personality and behavior: the father loves hunger and thirst. What will happen to those children who lack fatherly love? This is actually a test paper that requires parents to know the answer in advance. Because no matter whether it is a boy or a girl, when there is a lack of fatherly love in parenting education, growth is undoubtedly painful and confused, but this educational problem should not be paid by the growth of children!
1. When a girl lacks fatherly love, it is easy to have the plot of courting a man.
In the book "The Life of Abandoned Pine Nuts", the sadness of the lack of fatherly love is vividly expressed.
Matsuko stepped into the dust from the role of a middle school teacher, courting with his body and love in exchange for a little love from others. Even if she is humiliated in every way, she is fearless, because she has been seeking the love of others all her life.
Perhaps her life experience is not clean and smart just from the adult pine nuts, but when you see the young pine nuts and understand her life experience, you will understand the sadness. When I was a child, my father gave all his love to Matsuko's sister and was indifferent to Matsuko. Therefore, in the case of serious lack of father's love, pine nuts will try their best to please their father. In exchange for a smile from her father, she is willing to make faces all her life.
How pathetic this life is! For most girls, when the role of father is missing in their lives, they will enter the journey of finding love and sustenance, please others in love and lose themselves.
In this regard, Professor Ross Parker of Harvard University conducted an in-depth study: for girls, if the father is absent from the parent-child relationship, then the daughter's personality and psychological state will be affected. In order to make up for the lack of fatherly love, many girls will have the plot of loving men, which is easy to be mixed with many other factors in their feelings and easily hurt in their feelings.
2. When a boy lacks fatherly love: lack of masculinity
In today's society, we can always see such a situation: our little man's masculinity seems to be stolen!
I once took a 5-year-old boy with me. When other teachers asked them questions in class, many children raised their hands, but the teacher didn't call his name first. He turned his back directly from the chair, his wronged eyes were red, and he muttered that he would never talk to the teacher again!
Such a situation will appear in almost any scene. For example, if you play games, you won't cry for the first time, but if you are dissatisfied with food, you will cry. Even when all the children are playing a game, they will quit the game directly because of a little thing, sulking!
Only later did I know why that little boy was so delicate. My parents are divorced, and my life is almost entirely taken care of by my mother and grandmother.
So who stole the boy's masculinity?
Qu, a psychologist, once mentioned that when a child is rebellious or loses his masculinity, it actually has a lot to do with his father, which is what we call father's love and hunger.
Imagine that children are surrounded by women at home and come into contact with almost all female teachers in kindergartens. In this female environment, children can't receive rigid education, so femininity has gradually become a symbol of contemporary boys.
Qu believes that proper femininity is not harmful to children, but will make them more human. But when a child's femininity is heavy, it will not only make the child lack determination and courage, but more seriously, it will also produce gender identity obstacles.
Therefore, when a boy lacks fatherly love, it will lead to overweight women and lack of masculinity.