The most disturbing thing is that once a child does something wrong and his parents want to criticize and educate him, he will hide behind the old man and let him help him escape his parents' accusations. Some old people will blame themselves for protecting their children. This will undoubtedly make parents very helpless: they know they can't let go, but they can't blame the elderly. What should they do?
Parents can communicate with the elderly in four ways, and the elderly take care of their children. They pay more attention to children's food, clothing, housing and transportation, and whether they are wronged. Because of my own reasons, there will be some shortcomings in the education of children. So, what should we do to let the old man receive the correct education method without hurting his heart? You might as well refer to Kaka's mother's suggestion.
First of all, instill some correct educational concepts into the elderly.
We need the help of the elderly to take care of children, and hope that children can receive scientific and reasonable family education. Then, the best way is to pass on your recognized parenting experience to the elderly.
In fact, many old people don't want to teach their children well, but they really don't know how to educate them. In fact, as long as they are good to their children, the elderly are willing to learn some scientific parenting experiences.
Kaka's mother suggested that when we communicate with the elderly, we must first clear our minds and then find opportunities for diplomatic communication with the elderly. For example, don't tell the old people what to do directly, but chat with them. For example, when talking about other people's children's behavior, first agree with the old people's point of view, and then say what you think is right, so that the old people will accept it more easily.
In the past, when Grandma Kaka took Kaka, I would buy some books on scientific parenting and put them in a conspicuous place. Grandma Kaka watches it when she is free. I think this method is also very good. You might as well try. As long as the old man is willing to pick it up and watch it, he will gain a lot.
Second, understand the kindness of the elderly.
We must make sure that old people love their children as much as we do. And they educate their children in their own way, hoping to help us solve problems with their own experience.
Therefore, when we communicate with the elderly, we must first affirm their efforts and show understanding and tolerance for their practices. Never conflict with the old man, lest he be sad.
Kaka's mother suggested: Even if we have more opinions on children's behavior and don't agree with the old people's education methods, we can't say in front of the old people that he didn't teach the children well, let alone that the old people are adding chaos to us. Otherwise, it will definitely cause family conflicts.
If the parents-in-law are taking care of the children and the mother communicates with them, it is necessary to be gentle and gentle. Thank them for their help, affirm their efforts, and then communicate with them the correct educational methods. Just communicating, of course. Never force them to accept it.
As the saying goes? Reach out and not hit the smiling face? As long as we have a good attitude and respect for the elderly, the elderly will not embarrass us even if they do not accept new ways of education.
Third, pay more attention to the feelings of the elderly.
Some parents are impatient and will be angry when they see their children's bad behavior; At this time, if the old man protects the child again, he will not hesitate to fight with the old man. In fact, this practice is not good for children, for themselves and for the elderly.
Because if we don't get along well with the elderly, then the elderly may vent their dissatisfaction through their children.
Kaka's mother suggested that we should deal with the relationship with the elderly, because only a good relationship can ensure the continuous communication between the two sides; Only in this way can we have a rational exchange on children's education; Only in this way can the old people listen to us.
At the same time, we must pay more attention to the feelings of the elderly, and never let him know the scientific parenting methods, so that he feels that we are depriving him of the right to educate his children or enjoy the family happiness.
Fourth, don't criticize and blame the elderly.
Children have formed bad habits, so we don't have to worry too much. Never criticize and accuse the old man to his face and tell him that he has done something wrong. And don't say anything to the children. Don't listen to your grandparents (or grandparents), it's wrong for them to do so? Words.
The child is very simple. As soon as he turned around, he told the old man directly what we said to him. In this way, even if the old man pretends not to know, there will be a gap in his heart.
Kaka's mother suggested that the child should go to kindergarten after the age of three. After they go to kindergarten, they will spend less time with the elderly. We can help them correct the bad habits they have developed at this time. As long as the child is often exposed to correct behavior, then his behavior can be corrected quickly.
Usually tell your child that his grandparents love him very much and hope that he will get better and better, so as to encourage him to work hard to get better.
Conclusion: In addition to communicating with the elderly ourselves, we should also pay attention to reminding our children to let him know that the elders at home take care of him and educate him, instead of shielding him unprincipled.
We should make children understand that it is very bad to hide behind the elders to avoid criticism when doing something wrong. Only by bravely admitting mistakes and actively correcting them is a good boy.
The above is my answer, I hope I can help you.