Article 1
Case introduction:
Case analysis of interpersonal communication
Xiao A and Xiao B are juniors in an art college and live in the same dormitory. Soon after entering school, the two became inseparable friends. Small, lively and cheerful, small B introverted and taciturn. Little B gradually felt like an ugly duckling, while little B felt like a beautiful princess, and she was very unhappy. She thinks that Xiao is better than herself everywhere, steals the limelight and often treats Xiao coldly. In the third year of college, Xiao participated in the fashion design competition organized by the college and won the first prize. When Xiao B learned the news, he was first in pain and then in jealousy. While Xiao was not in the dormitory, he tore A's entry into pieces and threw it on Xiao's bed. After Xiao found out, she didn't know how to treat Xiao B, let alone why she should be treated like this.
Cause analysis:
It's a pity that Xiao A and Xiao B changed from inseparable to enemies. The key to this tragedy is one word-jealousy.
Solution:
Since jealousy is a morbid psychology that harms others and oneself, it seriously affects one's physical and mental health, so how to overcome it?
1. Recognize the dangers of jealousy
As mentioned above, the harm of jealousy lies in hurting others, but also hurting and delaying yourself. People who are jealous of others are naturally painful. On the one hand, people who are jealous of others affect their physical and mental health. On the other hand, because they are addicted to jealousy of others all day, they don't have enough energy to think about how to improve themselves, and they just continue to delay their future, which will do more harm than good. Recognizing these is the first step out of the misunderstanding of jealousy.
Step 2 overcome selfishness
Jealousy is a concrete manifestation of the excessive expansion of the status of "I" in personal psychological structure. I'm always afraid that others will be better than myself and not good for myself. Therefore, to eradicate jealousy, we must first eradicate the "nutritional basis" of this mentality-selfishness. Only by dispelling selfish distractions and broadening our minds can we treat others correctly and accept ourselves, as we often say, "The heart is selfless and the world is wide."
the second
Basic information of the case: Li, 1987, from Guangdong. Junior one boys.
Ranked fifth in the family. I went to primary school at the age of seven. Before the second grade, I was very studious and obedient. I am a good boy and a good student of my family and teachers. In the third grade, I often appeared in the video game room, and gradually became addicted to video games. I didn't want to go to class or read books. I learned to smoke in the video game room and made some misbehaving companions. I often don't understand and doze off in class, my homework can't be completed, and my academic performance drops sharply. This is often criticized by teachers. Instead of repenting, he opposed and contradicted the teacher, and often played truant. My parents left home after learning that they were beaten by their father. After entering the school, the student quickly adapted to the school environment and got along well with his classmates. General learning foundation, poor organizational discipline, casual speech in class, noisy with classmates after class, smoking, poor self-care ability, and no concern for groups.
Family background: nuclear family. Family members have a harmonious relationship, the family economy is in good condition, and the family education method is democratic, but sometimes the method is rude and simple. Father, 50 years old, junior high school education, individual owner of contracted projects; Mother, primary school culture, housewife. There are two brothers and two sisters. Except for the second sister who is studying in Guangzhou, all the other brothers and sisters have low academic qualifications and have gone to work. Li is loved by his parents, brothers and sisters at home. Besides his father, his two brothers often give him pocket money every week. Because the youngest family doesn't have to worry about anything, even what they can do, including personal chores, are done by parents or brothers and sisters. However, among the family members, because my sister has the highest education level, she is particularly prominent among the family and students.
Respect and respect. Li also often boasts and envies his sister.
Psychological evaluation:
Mental development is normal. Strong verbal skills, enthusiasm, curiosity, like to ask questions.
The mental health diagnostic test of middle school students shows that the mental health status of students is generally normal. No study anxiety, warm and generous, easy to make friends, confident.
Personality analysis: this person is outgoing, frank and straightforward, easy to trust others, with high independence and courage, low sensitivity, strong rationality and concern for reality. Poor persistence, lack of sense of responsibility, impulsive. Not aggressive, more humble and obedient, melancholy, and sometimes troubled.
Analysis of learning motivation: The student's learning motivation is not strong, his learning enthusiasm is low, his energy is insufficient, he can't give full play to his strength in the exam, and it is difficult to get good grades.
Analysis of learning cognitive factors: students' learning plans are poor, so they can't strictly make and implement plans. Learning skills, listening methods, examination methods, and reading notes are average.
Analysis of social factors in learning: The student basically gets along well with his peers, and the learning environment and atmosphere in school and family are average. Alienate from the teacher and refuse to accept the teacher's help and criticism. Therefore, it affects the development and improvement of students' learning ability.
The evaluation of parental rearing patterns shows that although the student was loved by his parents since childhood, he was often severely punished by his parents, especially his mother. Parents excessively interfere with their study life and protect them.
The student has been consulting in the psychological counseling room since mid-September this year. About once a week 1-2 times. At the beginning, I came with my classmates. First, I'm curious and find the atmosphere here more relaxed and comfortable. Second, you can come here for a change and chat. In the future, I will gradually become interested in psychological tests, and I hope to know myself. I will gradually start to reflect on myself, talk to my doctor about my confusion and heartfelt wishes, and consult a psychologist when I encounter problems that I can't solve.
For example, the student has a long history of smoking, smokes heavily and is addicted. 2-3 packs a week on average. When you are unhappy, you will smoke more. Although I know that smoking is very harmful to my health and I have a desire to quit smoking, I just can't quit.
Combined with the students' personality characteristics, he was given irregular and constructive psychological counseling. And took the following steps:
1. First, establish a good negotiation relationship of mutual trust with it;
2. Through some psychological diagnosis techniques, analyze and diagnose their personality characteristics and living and learning environment, help them know themselves, their advantages and disadvantages, their learning and living environment, and analyze the causes of bad behavior habits;
3. Publicize the scientific knowledge about the harm of smoking to human health, and further clarify and strengthen the concept of "smoking is harmful to health".
4. Affirm the positive side of his personality characteristics, influence him with his personal good personality behavior, and actively encourage and support him to correct bad behavior habits;
5. Provide them with constructive suggestions, such as introducing various means and methods to eliminate psychological troubles; How to control yourself not to smoke together when others smoke; Encourage them to take advantage of living on campus, have plenty of time, learn more cultural knowledge, follow their sister's example, study hard and strive to repay their parents with satisfactory results. Encourage them to take part in some outdoor sports activities between classes to enrich their after-school life and so on.
6. Take care of him and help him with a positive and trusting attitude. Once he is found to have made a little progress, he will immediately pay great attention and give verbal praise and encouragement.
Through the joint efforts of both sides, the psychological status of students has changed greatly. From the initial tentative point of view, I want to see a psychologist when I am unhappy or confused now, and my self-restraint ability has been greatly improved. When other students have some bad behaviors, they don't "go with the flow" as in the past, but use their brains to think before making a decision. For example, when someone encourages students to do bad things, they can calmly think about whether it is right or not, the consequences of doing so, and finally make the right choice. When others offend themselves, they are no longer so impulsive, but learn to look at the problem from multiple angles and choose the appropriate solution from more methods. At present, the number of smokers has decreased significantly, from 2-3 packs in the past week to less than 1 pack now. Uncivilized languages have also decreased significantly. And I feel that "I have a lot of study energy now, and my attention in class is relatively concentrated." I am interested in math learning again and often take the initiative to do classroom exercises. Both students and teachers feel that they have made great progress recently. Now the more you learn, the more energetic you are, and living on campus will not be too boring. "
However, the student's persistence is weak and needs encouragement and support from all sides to maintain good behavior habits. In particular, the encouragement of teachers and parents will help to cultivate students' courage and confidence in correcting bad behavior habits. Teachers should take the initiative to care about students, improve the relationship between teachers and students, and influence students with their own good behavior habits, which will be more conducive to the establishment of students' good behavior habits. There are still some problems in this student's family education environment, such as parents' excessive protection of this student's life, which affects the cultivation of this student's self-confidence and life skills, and guides the child to arrange his spare time reasonably and healthily. There is no intervention at present, and further work is needed.
Discussion and analysis: The reasons for this student's bad behavior are multiple, including students' own factors, school and family factors. The student is an outgoing, enthusiastic and lively child with strong curiosity and social skills. He hopes to communicate with people often and trust others easily. Except for my sister, other members of my family have a low education level. In order to make a living, my father and brothers are busy with their own careers on weekdays. In addition to providing students with adequate material living conditions, there is no more help or guidance on how to arrange their leisure time reasonably and participate in cultural and recreational activities that are beneficial to the healthy development of teenagers' body and mind. And when students have psychological contradictions and confusion, they can't communicate with them, so that they stay in the video game hall, gradually indulge in video games, and are influenced by bad teenagers, get into the bad habit of smoking, their academic performance drops, and lose their interest in learning. Coupled with the rude and simple education methods of his parents and teachers, he was alienated from his parents and teachers, and even interacted with those bad teenagers, so that he played truant and played truant. According to the rough statistics of psychological counseling visitors I received in our school, this case is very representative, and quite a few students have similar experiences. Therefore, the author believes that adults should pay more attention to children's all-round physical and mental development while providing them with a comfortable living environment. As educators, we should teach students how to arrange their leisure time reasonably, scientifically and healthily, and be a healthy person who can study and work, live and rest.
Article
Analysis and diagnosis:
Xiao Wei, an eleven-year-old boy, is now studying in the fifth grade of a primary school. The student's performance is: playful, uninterested in learning, and has a bad relationship with classmates. Recently, an unexpected thing happened to him: he owed several classmates 248 yuan! After investigation, it turned out that he actually proposed "how much money he promised to give each other to play with several classmates who love to play and can play". By that day, in addition to the arrears, he paid more than 300 pieces of dating fees!
This is a case of self-defense mechanism, and its acquired helplessness in interpersonal communication leads to injustice. Patients do not seek reasons from themselves and try to change their problems, but respond in a negative way, and relieve the pressure caused by poor interpersonal communication through external means such as borrowing money and material.
Some people may say that "this is the negative influence of the darkness of adult society on children". In our nature, whose children are good at observing and imitating. There is no denying it. But in this way, it has laid a painful psychological hidden danger for the growing children. He has no sincere friends, and he can't make good friends.
Why did he leave himself in a helpless state? It is necessary to mention his family life:
He lived in a troubled family, and his parents turned red when he was four years old. Mother tried her best to save it and finally maintained it. For the sake of the children, the mother made a compromise, but the father who was careful and wary of "betrayal" always felt a little guilty about the children and hoped to make more compensation. You can imagine whether you can seek comfort from your family.
In class, he doesn't like studying, and his homework is often unfinished. He likes to prevaricate for various reasons. His classmates have long been used to his boasting. In the interaction with classmates, I often shirk my responsibility because of my capricious mood; Weak will, poor self-control, bad faith, often reneging; . If you don't pay attention to personal hygiene, you always have an unspeakable smell. None of the students wants to make friends with him. He was once in a state of inferiority and self-abandonment. Become the "target" of individual overbearing students and be bullied at every turn.
Consulting methods and processes:
Based on Xiao Wei's learned helplessness in interpersonal communication, he must establish successful experience and let him fully experience the joy of success. By chance, I saw him buy some goldfish at the school gate and take them home happily. The next day, I took the initiative to ask him about keeping small goldfish, and he answered enthusiastically. It can be seen that he has a strong interest in raising small goldfish, some good experience and enough confidence. I sincerely encourage him and hope that he will pay attention to observation and accumulation and try to introduce him to you at an appropriate time. I told him that I believed he could succeed.
Second, improve the level of interpersonal communication and increase public support.
"Make sincere friends and take the initiative to help others" and "look at the problem from the standpoint of others". This is the foundation and premise of friendship. Taking advantage of his initial success in raising small goldfish, I asked him to introduce his experience to the students in class and answer some students' questions in this regard. I found his self-confidence enhanced. He also took the initiative to give his beloved goldfish to a classmate who had no experience in raising goldfish and fed him to death. I asked my classmate to tell me his advantages, and he smiled shyly.
Third, give more self-suggestion and establish a positive internal dialogue.
I asked him to reward himself in time, but I also praised myself in my heart. He told me that he felt the joy of success and the true friendship between his classmates. I asked him to transfer his successful experience to other aspects and correct his shortcomings. Such as: love to talk big, poor self-control, not paying attention to personal hygiene, etc. This will be accepted by most people and become a popular person.
Fourth, raise awareness and cultivate a correct view of stress.
Tell him: if you are alive, you will encounter many unpleasant things and bear pressure from all sides. In the face of pressure, we should have a positive coping style. You can chat with trusted friends, keep a diary, chat with people in the same boat, meditate alone, or do something that interests you. Be strong and always remind yourself of your responsibilities.
Thinking after consultation:
Many psychological problems of primary school students are related to their young age, limited psychological endurance and complex environment. Immature ideas can't be correctly guided, and it is easy to cause some personality defects when they accumulate in the heart, which will further undermine children's self-confidence and form a negative self-concept. We can use a successful example of a certain field before migration to help it get out of the shadow of failure.