It turns out that people's knowledge is inherently high, and there are high and low points. Under the high opinion, climb high, see far, and see everything; Looking down is like looking into the wall from the outside. If the height difference is close, it can still be said; If it's a world apart, it's better not to sue. For example, chess, above level 35, can also play chess. What if the national player plays chess with someone who doesn't know how to prepare the board? Of course, there are differences in intelligence and knowledge between people, and some are very different. High-level people look at low-level people, as if they are climbing high and looking far, and the scenery in the distance is unobstructed; Low-level people look at high-level people, just as people outside the wall want to look into the wall and see nothing. If you are about the same height, you can still communicate with each other. If the two are far apart, then two people had better not learn from each other at all, just wasting their breath. Just like playing chess, the level of both sides is only three to five, and they can still play. If one is a national player and the other can't walk at all, what will happen if two people play chess? There is little difference in IQ between the judges. Knowledge and insight mainly come from acquired education and study. As long as everyone is willing to learn, they will master a skill and find something suitable for them. Here, Yuan Cai's exposition of innate "wisdom" is not accurate. But the "game" in the article also has some truth: don't aim too high in your study and work, find a considerable opponent, step by step, and avoid wasting resources.
Don't be arrogant about wealth.
It turns out that wealth is an accident in life, and you should be proud of it! If you are poor, you will be rich; if you are cold, you will be plain; if you are virtuous, you should not sing for the countryside. Why is it different from ordinary people to sit and enjoy fat because of the inheritance of their fathers' ancestors and be trained and shown because of their fathers' protection? There is a desire to be proud of country songs, which is not shame and pity!
Who is rich and who is expensive is a very accidental thing in life. How can you bully others in the village just because you have money? If you are poor, you will become rich in the future; He came from humble origins and later became a high official. Although such people are called talented, they should not be too ostentatious in their hometown. What is the difference between such people and ordinary people if they live a rich life because of their ancestors' inheritance and get senior officials with the help of their fathers or grandfathers? If some of them want to show off their wealth and high officials in front of their neighbors, it is not only shameful, but also pitiful.
Comments on bumps and smooth roads, everyone will encounter in the journey of life. The truly admirable people are those who are not complacent in prosperity and not depressed in adversity. However, many people around us can be indomitable in failure, but they are not arrogant in victory. Those who show off their great insight are even more irritating. Such people exist in any era. Advise them to seriously consider the truth that "the bow is full, but the moon is full."
Gifts should not vary from person to person.
There are ignorant people in the primitive world, so we can't treat country songs with courtesy. And because people's wealth is set high and low. People with wealth and official positions are polite and respectful. The more wealth, the higher the official position, and the more respectful. We should take the poor and the cheap seriously. They are proud and slow-hearted, and have taken care of them a lot. I don't know that his wealth is not my glory, and his poverty is not my shame. Why compete with each other? A gentleman who is thick and knowledgeable will not.
There are some ignorant people in the world. They can't treat their fellow villagers equally and treat them with the same courtesy, but they are graded according to the wealth of others. When they see money and official positions, they are polite and respectful. The more money, the higher the official position, the more respectful. Seeing poor and low-status villagers, they are arrogant and contemptuous, and seldom take care of them. As everyone knows, the wealth of others is not their own glory, and the poverty of others is not their own shame. Why should they be treated differently because of their wealth and poverty? A man of noble character and wide knowledge would never do such a thing.
On the principle of treating people and things. People who are better than themselves are not flattering, and they are not arrogant when dealing with people who are not as good as themselves. The so-called "neither humble nor supercilious" is not only a requirement of appearance, but also a principle of life. Because everyone's situation will change, and sometimes we will get into trouble ourselves. Treat others as you want them to treat you.
It is a blessing to be happy when you are happy.
In this world, since there is knowledge, there is trouble and beauty. Children call their names, and all names have different meanings. At least from childhood to old age, there are often few good things and many bad things. Although people with great wealth are regarded as immortals by the world, their disappointment is the same as that of the poor, and their worries are different. Therefore, it is called a defective world and people who are dissatisfied with world life. If you can do this and accept it, you will feel less secure.
People live in the world, and since they have knowledge, they have troubles and disappointments. A child cries because something doesn't meet his requirements. From children to teenagers to prime of life and then to old age, few things go smoothly, but often many things don't. Even a man who is either rich or expensive, although everyone envies him, thinks he lives like a fairy. However, such people have their own troubles and disappointments, just like ordinary people. It's just that his worries are different from ordinary people, so we call this world a defective world. People live in this world, no one can be happy everywhere. If you can deeply understand this truth and deal with setbacks steadily, you will feel smoother.
Comments More often, being content with the status quo is a harmonious realm of life and a choice for a person to return to nature after vicissitudes. When people are young and energetic, they often feel overwhelmed, depressed, decadent and even miserable. However, even if all the tears are dry, things still need to be solved, and everything needs to be solved step by step. Besides, the origin of our own ability is a down-to-earth accumulation process. Many times, if you don't "accept", it will only increase your troubles. From this point of view, facing difficulties, working hard and enjoying it is the wisest choice.
Congenital deficiency, make up the day after tomorrow.
The virtue of primitive people is based on talent, and everyone is biased. A gentleman knows his bias, so he makes up what he has learned. He is a man of virtue. Most people don't know their own prejudices, but they stand up to their own prejudices, so they lose more. There are nine virtues in the book, such as generosity, softness, willingness, chaos, disturbance, straightness, simplicity, rigidity, strength and talent; The so-called reason, reason, fairness, classics, righteousness, literature, association, explanation and righteousness are all used to it. This saint is also a saint. Later generations have those who are impatient to worship Wei, and those who are slow to worship string are also close to this. Although, the so-called own prejudice suffers unconsciously and needs to ask others to know.
People's morality and personality have their own defects from birth. A learned and cultured person knows his own shortcomings, so he makes up for them by strengthening his study, and then becomes a person with perfect moral character. Ordinary people don't know their own shortcomings, but they are dominated by such shortcomings and act arbitrarily, leading to many mistakes. There are nine virtues in Shangshu, namely "generosity, softness, willingness, disorder, disturbance, straightness, simplicity, rigidity and strength". These are natural; And "reason, reason, engineering, classics, righteousness, literature, connection, competition and righteousness" are all developed through learning. This is why sages become sages. There are some impatient people in the afterlife, so they wear Wei leather. It is for this reason that slow-tempered people wear tight bows and arrows. Even so, my own shortcomings are often miserable because I can't know, and I have to ask others to know.
There is such a story in The Analects of Confucius. Lutz asked, "Steven Zhu Xing?" Confucius said, "My father and brother are here, so why bother?" Ran has a question: "Zhu Xing?" Confucius said, "Si Wen must do it." Gong Xihua said: "I also asked Wen about this matter. Confucius said that there are fathers and brothers. Let Steven do everything, and Steven will do it the next day. Red is also confused and dares to ask. " Confucius said, "Seek to retreat, so advance; Because I am also a person, I retired. " Lutz and You Ran both asked Confucius, "When you hear something, can you do it at once?" But Confucius gave them a completely different answer. Because Ran Qiu always backed down, he encouraged him to do it. Zhong You is bold and sometimes reckless, trying to crush him. It is true that if we want to make greater progress, we must constantly overcome our shortcomings. The first step to do this is to constantly discover your own shortcomings. But this is not easy to do in practice. Many people are afraid of illness and medical treatment, and take the initiative to "consult others" with their own shortcomings. This is not something that everyone can do!
Everyone has his own strengths.
Although human sexual behavior is short-lived, it must have advantages. When you make friends with people, you can't be in the same place if you see their shortcomings; If you always read its advantages, regardless of its disadvantages, you can be friends with it for life.
Although a person's character and conduct have shortcomings, they certainly have advantages. When dealing with people, if you always pay attention to their shortcomings and ignore their advantages, it will be difficult for you to get along with people even for a moment. On the contrary, if you always think about the advantages of others and don't care about their shortcomings, you can live in harmony even if you meet them all your life.
The most important thing for a critic is tolerance. Everyone has shortcomings. If you always stare at the shortcomings of others, it is easy to have contradictions and disputes with others. More importantly, we can't change others according to our own will. If we ask others to be like ourselves, we will only make ourselves feel bad in the end. Therefore, looking at the strengths of others is the first skill we must learn when dealing with the world.
Slow heart, hypocrisy, jealousy and suspicion cannot exist.
In the original text, those who are always slow-witted, hypocritical, jealous and suspicious, bring disgrace to oneself treats others, and a gentleman does not care about virtue. Slow-hearted people are not as good as others, but frivolous. When you meet the enemies below you and those who want something from us, you are rude in front of them and secretly sneer behind them. If you can go back to the province, you will sweat with shame. A hypocrite's words are tortuous, if rough, but the center is quite different. For a time, people believed it, but if it was used repeatedly, it would be exposed and spurned. People who are jealous often want me to be superior, so people who praise people's beauty are indignant and have other ideas; Those who are inferior to others will laugh happily, which will only hurt others and only complain. Suspicious people, people's words, never intentionally, just think over and over again: "What's so funny about this?" Why are you laughing at me? "That you had been enemies with others, often sprout here. Sages are ridiculed, but if they don't smell it, it's no trouble!
If you always treat others with arrogance, hypocrisy, jealousy and suspicion, then you are asking for contempt and insult from others. A gentleman of noble character would not do that. Arrogant people are obviously inferior to others, but they like to despise others. What do you want from yourself when you see people who are not as good as yourself? Not only do you not treat people with courtesy in person, but you also secretly laugh at others behind their backs. If such a person can reflect on himself, he may be ashamed and sweat. People who are hypocritical in heart have euphemistic words and seem to be very kind to others, but their hearts are quite different. This kind of person may believe it for a while and admire it, but after dealing with him for two or three times, his true colors are exposed. Finally, I was spit out. People who are jealous often want to put themselves above others, so when they hear someone praising others' advantages, they will feel wronged and think that this kind of praise is wrong; When I hear that others are inferior to others and have defects, I feel gratified and smile from the heart. This kind of behavior is actually harmful to others, but it only increases others' antipathy to you. A suspicious person may say something casually, but he keeps thinking, "Why are you mocking me?" ? Why on earth are you laughing at me? "This hatred between people often starts from this. A wise man listens to the ridicule of others as if he didn't hear it, so he doesn't have to save a lot of trouble!
Sincerity in comments is the minimum criterion for dealing with people. Only by being honest with others can you get others' love. Slow heart, hypocrisy, jealousy and suspicion are the main problems in interpersonal communication. Even in political debates, these four things often lead to mistakes and failures. For example, in Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Sun Quan, who is slow-hearted, lost Pang Tong, Cao Cao, who is suspicious, killed Bo Luxury, and Liu Bei, who is guilty, fell, while Yuan Shu and Zhou Yu, who are jealous, were all laughed at by the whole world. In modern society, where everything is about skills, all kinds of life philosophies make us at a loss. As we all know, the best and most feasible way of life is to treat people sincerely. Today, in our busy life, honesty and frankness seem to enable us to solve problems more directly and improve work efficiency.
Loyalty and awe are the skills of saints.
Faithfulness and respect in the original words is the way that saints teach people to attach importance to country songs. If you build wealth, you will benefit yourself without hurting others. When you are in trouble, you may want to get benefits from others, so-called loyalty. I didn't promise. It's not easy to keep your promise, not at all. The so-called faith is also. Honesty is the so-called loyalty. Humble manners, humble words, so-called respect. If we can do this, we will not only attach importance to country songs, but also be complacent. However, things that are respected do no harm to themselves, and the world can do quite well. However, affectation is false, and its center is frivolous. Is a person who can be respected but not loyal. The gentleman refers to it as a slap, but the villagers don't return it for a long time.
It is a way for saints to teach people how to gain the respect of villagers to pay attention to the principle of keeping words and doing deeds. Nothing more than doing things that harm others and benefit themselves in terms of property; At the critical moment, don't do things that hinder others and facilitate yourself. This is what people call "loyalty". Once you make a promise to someone, even the smallest thing must have a result; Once you make a regular appointment, there is no delay. This is what people call "faith". Treat people with enthusiasm and kindness, and be honest and sincere in heart. This is what people call Benedict. Politeness, prudence and modesty are what people call "respect". If you can be faithful and respectful, you will not only gain the respect of the villagers, but also do everything smoothly. However, respect others, because there is no loss to yourself, the world can still do it. However, if you can't be consistent in appearance, treat others well on the surface, but despise others at heart, then you can be "respectful" instead of "loyal", and a gentleman will call him a flatterer. As time goes on, the villagers will no longer respect him.
Be honest in commenting and doing things, and be a person who is what he seems. No matter in which era, this is the minimum principle of being a man. Some people think they are smart and opportunistic, and harm others' interests in order to achieve their own goals. Some people are also very good at disguising themselves. Such people seldom make intimate friends, but they will be exposed by the world one day. In today's era of equal emphasis on quality and strength, I believe that "loyalty, faithfulness, loyalty and respect" advocated by Yuan Cai can eventually become our creed in dealing with people.
Be strict with yourself and be lenient with others.
Loyalty, faith, dedication and respect, keep them on yourself first, and then place hope on others. If you blame others for what you didn't do, people will blame me for it. People in this world can reflect on their loyalty, faith, loyalty and respect, and it is natural for people who can blame loyalty, faith, loyalty and respect on others. Although, in my case, I don't need to feel deeply responsible for others. Today, some people can try their best to be kind to others, but they should blame others as themselves. If they are dissatisfied with my wishes, they will be very powerful, and it is not a virtue of tolerance, but only beneficial to people's ears!
Loyalty, faithfulness, kindness and respect, these qualities must be possessed by themselves in order to be expected by others. If you don't fully meet these requirements when dealing with people and things, but use it to ask others, others will use it to accuse you. At present, few people can reflect on whether they are loyal, trustworthy, kind and respectful, but many people ask for it from others. In fact, even if you do this when you meet people and treat guests, you don't have to ask others to do it. It's really nice for some people to treat people like this. But he wants others to be like him. For a moment, he didn't weigh his own heart, so he severely criticized others. Such people are intolerant and easy to make enemies.
We often complain that people are not ancient and that others are not good to us, but few people can seriously reflect on themselves. If everyone asks others blindly, only taking without paying, then no matter how rich our material life is, it is still difficult to realize happiness. In fact, getting along with people is also like farming. If you want to get others' concern, you must first sow the seeds of love yourself. No one in this world should pay for you unconditionally. If you are kind to others, others will be kind to you.
Villains should stay away.
Harmony is the most important thing, but a villain who wants to be close to a gentleman and far away. A gentleman's words, however long and thick, are respected. This statement is in my heart, it is a temporary thing for me, and it naturally comes from the long and thick side. How mean and flashy the villain's words are. This statement comes from my heart and my current situation, naturally out of meanness and flashy. And if I hear angry bullying sooner or later, I will be angry and bullied unconsciously; If I hear someone wandering around in the morning and evening without being caught, I will wander around without being caught. If you are not at one end and have great determination, you are bound to be infected.
In daily life, people want to make friends with gentlemen and stay away from villains. The words of a gentleman are mostly honest, dignified and rigorous, with the wind of the elderly. This kind of speech is preconceived, and when it comes to things, it will naturally have a loyal, upright, dignified and rigorous elder style; Most of the villains' remarks are mean and flashy. If such remarks enter the mind first, there will naturally be mean and flashy remarks in front of things. Just like all the domineering words in my ears in the morning and evening, I became arrogant and I didn't understand it myself; Sooner or later, after listening to those idle lawless people, I also became fond of idle lawless people, but I just didn't know it. There are many situations like this, and if there is no strong self-control ability, it will inevitably lead to bad results of gradual contamination.
As the saying goes, to see a person, you can see his friends first. "Close to Zhu Zhechi, close to ink is black." This statement is absolutely correct. If you associate with a gentleman, you will have the wind of a gentleman, and if you associate with a villain, you will have the air of a villain. There is a popular saying now that with people who are better than you, you will become better! "Excellence" here is not only determined by grades, but also contains many internal things, among which character is the first.
There are more things with age.
A mature man has pedantic words, but he has more things to do. Although the later generations are brilliant, their knowledge is not as good as before. The examples of future generations have become pedantic because of old age. Those who want to train their offspring with words that are effective in physical tests will get tired of listening and will ruin them. Later people are getting older and more experienced. We can admire their age, but that is after hardships.
The old people's remarks sometimes seem pedantic and unrealistic, but they have experienced many things and rich experience. Even if young people are talented, they can't compare with old people in life experience and knowledge. Young people always think that old people's remarks are pedantic and unrealistic. When old people teach young people with their own personal experiences, many young people don't like to hear it, or even slander it, but they don't know that those remarks have been fulfilled on old people. When young people grow up and have experienced many things, they realize how admirable the old man's words are, but when they realize this, it is already after he has suffered.
Comment on life as a book. The more people experience, the more things are recorded in the book. The ups and downs, successes and failures, and lessons all make our books heavier and heavier. Young people should talk to old people more, which is like reading a practical book. The rich life experience of the elderly is a fortune, and many times the teaching of the elderly can save us a lot of detours. Although sometimes the words of the old people are inevitably conservative because of the development of the times, it is very necessary for us to "choose the good and change it". People often say that "if you don't listen to the old man, you will suffer in front of you", which is very reasonable.