I have consulted a case in psychology. This child has shown advantages in learning since he was a child, and he has performed well in all aspects. But in order to hide stealing money, he lied in front of his mother, never shaking his tongue or changing his face. "Rome wasn't built in a day", the problem lies in the way of mother's education. They usually only pay attention to the development of children's specialties and intelligence, but ignore the ideological and moral education, neglect the ideological exchange with children at ordinary times, and form a spiritual barrier with children, which leads to the inability to enter the inner world of children and grasp their psychological trend. It is not surprising that bad behaviors such as lying and cheating are formed. Water under the bridge, how should mothers communicate well and carry out ideological and moral education?
First, pay attention to your attitude.
When a child makes a mistake, don't scold her, don't talk to the child in an offensive language and a lesson tone, sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with her, give her facts, be reasonable, be emotional and sensible, express her worries, worries and love as a parent, and let her know right from wrong, what is wrong and what kind of mistakes will be made in the future.
Second, usually care about children from the details of life.
The considerate care of parents can improve the relationship between mother and child and create a harmonious atmosphere. At this time, instilling a correct outlook on life and morality into children in a happy and warm atmosphere will often have the effect of "moistening things quietly", so that children will have a correct code of conduct unconsciously.
Third, be a faithful listener of children and listen carefully to every word of children.
Parents should show great interest and listen carefully when children have expressed their wishes. No matter what he said is negative or positive, he should patiently listen to every sentence before expressing his own views and opinions. We must vigorously affirm positive and correct thoughts, and we can remind you of negative and bad thoughts and beat about the bush. We must not be furious because she expressed the wrong ideas hidden in her heart, and put on an educator's posture to make it "difficult for children to speak" next time.
Fourth, seize the opportunity to talk with children and create a good communication environment.
Talking to children is not always possible. When children concentrate on study or entertainment, they don't need to be disturbed internally. Therefore, we should choose a good opportunity and create a good communication environment. For example, when you are free, when you are walking, or when you have made some achievements, when you encounter problems, when you are in a bad mood or when you are excited and happy, talk to your child in time. Often children are willing to communicate with their parents and are easy to accept their parents' hints.
5. Communicate with children by letter.
When children make mistakes, parents often fly into a rage and can't handle it calmly. It is often not instructive to reprimand or talk to a child, but the child goes in one ear and out the other. At this time, talking in writing can fully express what you are usually inconvenient to say, and infiltrate your correct views, opinions and moral education factors into the letter. China's parents are not good at expressing their feelings, so they express their feelings to their children in their letters. Sincere feelings can easily move their children emotionally. Make it easier for children to accept it consciously. In addition, some children are introverted and shy, and some are not used to communicating with their parents at all. For such children, we can also exchange ideas through letters to achieve the purpose of moral education.
Extension:
In the face of lying children, really smart parents will do the same.
0 1 Parents set a good example for their children.
Parents are the best teachers for children. Many times, what parents do is successfully reflected in their children's hearts. They will naturally act according to their parents' words and deeds.
Parents lead by example and treat others with integrity, and children will realize the valuable quality of honesty and gradually reduce the frequency of lying.
The power of example is infinite, and in many cases, example is more powerful than lesson.
Do you still remember the "big worker" Ran Guanghui who once spread all over the Internet? At the age of 52, he picked up the goods in one hand and touched tens of millions of netizens with his son's photo.
The son who grew up beside his father felt that his father was not easy. He knows how to share some housework for his family, which makes his father Ran Guanghui very happy.
My son once said of his father: My father is a great man. He earns money on his own. There is nothing to laugh at. I want to be as great as my father in the future.
This is the power of example. Many times, parents can set a good example for their children, which is actually worth a thousand words.
Parents are the best way to educate their children to get rid of the bad habit of telling lies.
Children are the shadow of parents, and parents' words and deeds are imperceptibly affecting children's behavior.
As parents, we must be cautious in our words and deeds, standardize our words and deeds, and let our children learn useful nutrition from them and grow into good children praised by everyone.
Respect children's privacy
I used to like Xia Xue's character when I watched Family with Children.
When Xia Xue was in primary school, he behaved abnormally for a while. Her parents were worried about whether he was in puppy love, so her father took her and prepared to give her criticism and education.
So Xia Xue educated his father. She thinks she has the right to privacy and there is no need to tell her parents something about herself. At the same time, she thinks she has the ability to handle her own affairs.
These words shocked my father, and he was finally freed from what Xia Xue had done.
At the age of three, children began to have some sense of independence and began to understand that they were different from others.
When children grow up, they begin to have some thoughts and secrets of their own, and they have the right to tell their parents or not.
And many times, parents who have always been strong force their children to tell themselves under the banner of being good for their children.
If children feel unhappy, they may choose to lie to prevaricate their parents. Over time, the bad habit of lying will gradually develop.
When parents find that their children are lying, they should calm down and take a good look at themselves. Are they afraid of their children in some way? In order to cater to adults, children can only make up lies to cover themselves up.
Respect children's privacy, give them some free space, trust them, and they will learn to grow.
Don't criticize children often.
Every child will inevitably make some small mistakes when growing up.
When children realize that they have done something wrong, they are actually very painful, self-blaming and ashamed.
At this time, parents should not hold on all the time and criticize and educate their children.
This practice will only make children unable to extricate themselves from the abyss of pain. Over time, children will no longer be willing to tell their parents the truth in order to reduce their parents' criticism.
I heard a story about Washington, the first president of the United States.
When Washington was young, one day, my father bought a cherry tree as a treasure.
But little Washington was so naughty that he even hacked the young tree to death while his father was away.
My father was very angry when he found out. He called the children to his side and said, "Who cut down my cherry tree? I must punish him severely! " "
My brothers and sisters are afraid to go out. At this moment, little Washington stood up and said, "I cut it."
Unexpectedly, instead of criticizing him, his father was glad that he could take the initiative to admit his mistake.
Washington's father is wise. He knows that cherry trees can be planted again after they die. However, an honest boy can't get back many cherry trees.
Therefore, parents should be mentally prepared before criticizing and educating their children. Whether you want your children to lie or be honest in the future depends entirely on your educational methods.
Parents should not criticize their children often. Many times, as long as the mistakes made by children don't hurt others, they can be let go.
There are some things that adults don't say, but children actually understand. Why not give them some time and space to gradually correct themselves?
We just need to be the best parents, and children will naturally become better and better in this silent education.
Write at the end:
When I was young, my parents often told us the story of the wolf coming.
In order to gain the attention of adults, the shepherd boy in the story does not hesitate to lure people up the mountain with the lie that the wolf is coming.
In the end, people stopped believing his lies, and the shepherd boy was punished as he deserved.
When telling stories, parents will tell us that children can't lie, or they will be punished.
However, from another perspective, the reason that causes children to lie comes from parents.
It is precisely because parents don't care about children that children will use lies to gain the attention of others.
Therefore, when children lie, in fact, the most important thing to reflect on is their parents.
Whether parents set a good example for their children, whether they respect their privacy, and whether they often criticize their children.
Only by letting the child feel the unconditional love of his parents can the child gradually grow into a child who does not lie.