In real life or work and study, everyone will inevitably contact or use quotations. Quotation is one of the styles, which refers to a person's speech record. So did you really understand those quotations? The following are the complete works of my teacher's classic funny quotations, hoping to help everyone.

Teacher's classic funny quotations 1 1. Take out the last piece of paper. Generally speaking, you shouldn't do it. I have great confidence in your laziness.

2. If my classmates think their IQ is too high, I can recommend a good way to reduce your IQ-watching TV, especially soap operas.

I said, boys should not sit with boys in the future, girls should sit with girls, and boys should take the initiative. I wonder if the ratio of men to women is not harmonious now? It is always those people who talk about a topic together, which is not conducive to broadening your mind.

4. What does it mean to keep people away from tea? Even if you see me at school now, you can say to me politely: hello, teacher! ~ ~ ~ Ten years later, when you come back and see me, you will say, Oh, is this guy still there?

5. Many people who have just started the reform will scold him, and some even said under his windowsill that they would have trouble with their grandparents' grandparents.

6. I don't usually admire anyone, but this exam made me find my vision too narrow. There are so many students worthy of my admiration. A teacher who has never studied logistics can pass all his papers, and some of you even stay in single digits. What caught my eye most was a classmate, who successfully avoided all the correct answers except short answers and noun explanations in the process of single choice, multiple choice and judgment. ...

7, learning this kind of thing, there is absolutely no absolute, everything varies from person to person.

8. Sit still and don't talk. Let's play a game later-roll call.

9. Our school is good enough. When I went to several similar colleges to attend classes, a teacher asked me, how do you usually design blackboard books? I told them contemptuously that we usually use multimedia.

10, who is in charge today? Don't even clean the blackboard!

1 1. Strongly condemn those students who sleep in class ... You have increased the workload of aunt cleaning-you have to wipe the saliva off the table besides sweeping the floor every day.

12, don't always go to Internet cafes. Internet cafes are disgusting. Some people wear them barefoot, others eat instant noodles with them.

13, I used to think that anyone who has a dream is great. After I went to college, I found that whoever finished drinking was great.

14, gossip is more terrible than hooligans. ...

15, the task is not for one person, but for everyone.

16. It is forbidden to read newspapers in class. Why? Because a newspaper is divided into many copies when you look at it! The boss of the school newsstand once talked to me. He strongly urged me to make the class boring and let more students buy newspapers and magazines. A boring teacher can save two newsstands!

17, never talking, how disgusting it is to talk about a topic!

18, you should thank the students who didn't come to class, because it is because of these students that your chances of passing are greatly increased.

19, now you have to work hard, take the postgraduate entrance examination [Weibo], finish your master's degree and doctor's degree, and then try your best to run for the doctor's degree.

20. Some students say that I have gender discrimination, but I don't discriminate against men and women. I discriminate against neutrality. You can say I'm not tolerant enough.

2 1, rich and uneducated, use Nokia.

22. If you don't get 90 points in the final exam, come to me and I'll give you 90 points. If you don't listen carefully, call me in 80 minutes, and I will give you 500 yuan RMB.

23. I am in a good mood today. Call a name ~ ~ Did you send the message and ask your classmates to come to class? After that, I'll send him a message saying that the teacher didn't bring the roll call.

24. The result of mother-in-law: Feminization of men and menstruation of women.

Students should read more books. Everything in the book, food, villas, handsome guys and beautiful women.

26. China people have two characteristics: they don't like telling the truth and they don't like listening to it.

27. What do you do after graduation? Maybe: CEO, CFO, UFO ... something.

28. I usually only use one trick to treat my sleeping classmates, that is, when we are halfway up, we will quietly change classrooms. When those sleeping students wake up, they will find that their eyes are closed, but their teacher is not.

29. You ignored me again, didn't you? I'm not in class, I'm lonely. ...

Don't compare your own shortcomings with others' advantages, so you will feel inferior. For example, don't compare a tricycle with the old man at the door. You will be better than others. Of course, some students may not be better at math than others. ...

Teacher's classic funny quotations 2 1. Students who choose C in this topic have obvious anti-human tendencies.

2. Strike bad students by means, not by hand.

If you answer this question, I will not hesitate to represent geography and kill you.

I punish you for plagiarism, not that I don't forgive you, but that science doesn't forgive you.

5. Take out the papers handed out last time. Generally speaking, you shouldn't do this. I have great confidence in your laziness.

6, learning this kind of thing, there is absolutely no absolute, everything varies from person to person.

7. Research shows that pigs are smarter than dogs, and the inspection team found it by cutting arches with pigs' noses.

8. Don't turn your pen, turn your head. Yidian market network

9. It may be said that my loftiness stems from my incompetence, but I am satisfied with my incompetence in this respect.

10, I wonder if Newton is angry with you.

1 1, the school food is not good, I can't afford to support you, only Guo Kui.

12, the task is not for one person, but for everyone.

13, reading is the crystallization of diligence and wisdom, you guys, diligence equals zero, wisdom equals zero, and together it will always be zero.

14. If you choose D for this question, you must not tell anyone that you studied geography in high school.

15. The river in the northeast is different from ours. There are two flood seasons in a year, so the northeast people have two chances to drown in a year.

16, I don't even have a draft. What a pity. If I can't afford it, I'll go to the opposite bank for a loan to buy one.

17. Think big, be as creative as God, do small things, and act like slaves.

18. Be sure to tell the next teacher Chen when you graduate.

19, I strongly suggest that you calm down immediately for students who choose the wrong questions.

Why is your voice so low? You shouldn't be here. You should go to a school for the deaf.

2 1, I always thought that being a teacher was selling intelligence, but today I realized that I was selling physical strength.

22. Looking through the imperial calendar, is it not suitable for class today?

23. Some people come to school to do everything except reading.

24. The unbearable result is often to endure for a long time.

25. I tell you, your chances of getting into Fudan are the same as my chances of being president of the United States!

26. A person's youth ends on the day when he no longer pursues it.

27. You will only scream twice: once when you pay the money and once when you hand out the test paper.

28. Every day is different and the ending is very different.

29, it's still noisy, don't save your energy to grab food in the canteen for a while.

30. I can't figure out why the stupidest person in China is only 100. How come half of them are in this school, and they are concentrated in one class, and they even meet such a clever head teacher? (Then look up at the sky and sigh) Fate!

In the first class, my physics teacher drew a few strokes on the blackboard and said, "This is me, I'm sorry, I hope I can make up for it with knowledge in the future ..." After that, my teacher's consistent humorous style left a deep impression on me. The following are his funny quotations.

1 level wind blows down, and dogs can't get rid of class.

Can I make suggestions? Although I won't adopt them, the law hasn't asked my opinion, has it? Does the wholesaler have to go to the toilet to play?

4 move! Let me know you're alive.

Open the almanac, is it not suitable for studying physics today?

You can't buy food with functions, and you can't establish the coordinate system of injection, can you?

You are still vibrating, you are forced to vibrate.

I always thought that being a teacher was selling intelligence, but today I realized that it was selling physical strength.

There are two things in the world that can't be deceived, one is the vast universe, and the other is your own conscience. 10, please reply. Why didn't anyone respond to such a classic question? It's pathetic.

1 1 The focus of your experiment is mixing, saying that the focus is participation, which is flattering!

12 on puppy love: whether I accidentally found you together or I intentionally found you not together, in short, you were thoughtless together.

13 It's useless to have a naked eye chart during physical examination. I tried. You don't even know where the doctor's stick is pointing!

14 I'm happy when you enter the laboratory, just like entering the zoo.

15 Am I in the wrong place? Is this a dormitory or a classroom?

16 sitting there thinking about life again? Choose to live or choose to die?

17 Take out the last piece of paper. Generally speaking, you shouldn't do it. I have great confidence in your laziness.

Hey ... this problem is the same, it takes two steps, and it doesn't take into account your actual situation.

19 I really wonder if Newton is angry with you!

Teacher's classic funny quotations 4 1. This is really a ridiculous era!

I often wake up in nightmares when I see words like you.

Please pay attention to the blackboard and don't waste your youth.

Please take out your textbooks quietly.

6. What a waste of youth

8. Ouch ~ ~ ~ ~

9. After reading the question, you say it is simple.

10. Everyone, right?

1 1. The cost of wasting time is too high.

12. If it exists, it will not exist. If there is, there will be no.

13. This is great.

14. Have you ever seen Hu Tao use a mobile phone?

16. Ladies and gentlemen, can you accept it?

17. Does it make sense? you said

18. Be yourself and do what you like.

19. Is it interesting? Boring

20. Where the object is, the spotlight of our eyes has to stop there.

22. In this way, you broke through my psychological defense.

23. I don't look at people, and I can't look at people.

24. Losers are only one and a half years old.

This is a problem for primary school students, who have failed.

26. Some students spoke wonderfully, full of twists and turns.

27. Do things properly, and your level is not small ~ ~

29. I was talking on the stage when my cell phone rang.

30. Sleeping during the day is a cruel thing ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

3 1. You are all about to enter the second year of high school ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thinking about moving, listening to excitement, but not acting.

3 1 Is this question extremely simple?

This question is a dispute between a and d.

Finally Newton was born ~ ~ ~ ~

34. This is the easiest thing in the world, everyone.

35. Whoever speaks, I will insist on roll call.

Excellence can become a habit, but laziness can change your life.

37. It hurts to come to class like this.

38. Walk into your own knowledge world.

39. physics! Just talk and don't practice fake tricks, only practice not stupid tricks.

40. Form a strong collective. Some people sleep and others copy their homework. Don't stand by and wait for people to fight, and don't wait and see. Even without nunchakus, you should stand upright.

4 1. Look, what did you do in a class! When you recall your childhood in the future, you will say, "My task in class every day is to finish reading newspapers", which is cruel and will suck your life away.

Everybody look up and cheer up.

43. There are four fears of coming here. Sleep if you don't listen, pee if you don't sleep, and never return if you pee.

44. our class If this goes on, it will become a bad class.

45. Crawl or talk, which is the limitation of education!

46. Ladies and gentlemen, great, great.

47. Ladies and gentlemen, what's the focus?

48. This question is allowed to be incomprehensible, and hemp residue can understand it and understand it.

49. Not much, not leaking, not bad

50. They are tied around the bowl.

5 1. If you speak again, I will resolutely call the roll and deduct the conduct.

52. If we come here to talk about it, the value of the relationship is greater than the substantive meaning.

You can ask any questions, but I don't have to answer any questions.

54. Cheer up. Look, you're still doing mouth movements.

55. Many students will be insulated from physics. Then how do they graduate?

56. At your age, I absolutely need to spell it.

57. What you do is like wearing shorts and leaking your scud in summer.

58. Everyone uses your left brain.

59. The ghost came and began to speak again.

60. Don't look at those illusory things, they will suck your life away.

6 1. I gave you so many steps and you didn't.

62. The process of research is the process of tasting. Please pay attention to the blackboard.

63. Oh, yes, it requires high-quality thinking.

64. Keep in good shape, don't talk, and cherish time. Time goes by day and time flies.

65. You have a great chance!

66. Let learning occupy all your heart.

67. But I still stubbornly left.

68. Try to have a weekly exercise tomorrow!

69. Is what you do important? Is it urgent? Do the important things first, sleep is not important.

70. Isn't it just a formula?

7 1. Many students are bored, but many students haven't finished yet.

72.what are you doing here? Fuck? How to mix? Fool around ~ ~ ~ ~

73. Learn your lesson! Great!

74. Look at yourself and think specifically.

75. Why don't you two have a fight ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

76. If you try not to watch TV for a few days, your IQ will rise!

77. I haven't watched TV for years. I usually just watch the ball game with my friends and go home to watch the Spring Festival party with my parents during the Spring Festival.

78. Think as fast as lightning and turn like an electric fan.

79. You may not escape! everyone

80. classmate, put your hands up and don't climb there!

8 1. In a word, in a word.

82. Put away your voice and smile.

83. Don't stop thinking here, it's all in the review.

Wandering between swearing and refraining from swearing every day will break down sooner or later.

85. What's it like to be rebellious in freshman year? "Please, teacher, don't be good for me."

There is no point in speaking in class.

87. Look, look, class is over again, and the task has not been completed. All right!

88. The process of solving problems is the process of fighting with the problem teacher.

92. Does your mind follow me?

93. Those people in the back? Still hiding behind other people's old bags, don't be so insecure.

94. Be sure to remember clearly and don't confuse!

95. The person behind you can't control himself, will I? (Cheng Yuan: I was studying, but I didn't speak. ) Some people have to sit accordingly.

97. This is understandable at first glance, but it is always wrong to do it.

98. Stay away.

99. There is no happiness you can't enjoy, only pain you can't enjoy. Three years later, it passed.

100. I also want to get a bell to play in class every day.

10 1. The last one is about you.

102. reflect on yourself. Your idea is flawed.

103. Cheer up and don't feel too failed. Everyone has his own advantages.

104. Don't rub all positions, okay? Physically look at history, historically look at mathematics, and mathematically look at ideology and morality.

106. Persistence will lead to results. The table is still empty. Where are the books?

107. If you do this, our excitement will be reduced, and the entertainment value will be greater than the real value.

108. Are you efficient? Did it work?

109. Only by sticking to the end can we reach the peak.

1 10. It's like this on New Year's Day.

1 1 1. Who wants to eat crabs first today, come and have a look.

1 12. Who cleaned the blackboard? Just like not washing your face in the morning.

Teachers' classic funny quotations 5 1) are also swearing. Being beautiful means being ugly, but there is no tutor.

2) 2B describes you. People don't like pencils.

3) Three sentences that moved me most: I brought you delicious food. I treat you to delicious food. I will take you to eat delicious food.

4) Getting up now depends not on perseverance, but on peeing.

5) It's really worrying that it's miserable outside the castle peak building outside the mountain.

6) Qian Qian, the son and daughter of the Chinese nation, must be replaced if this fails.

7) Teacher: Now count the situation of the only child. You should all be scared, right? Xiaoming: I'm not, teacher. Teacher: Oh, what do you have? Xiaoming: I have a younger brother. Teacher: How old is he? Xiao Ming: 7 cm. Teacher: Guawazi, get out of here.

8) Teacher: "Let's make sentences again. The shorter the requirements, the better! " Xiao Ming: "Double!" Teacher: "That makes sense. I can't find a reason to let you go! " "

9) Teacher: "Students, what is the most important communication between people in 2 1 century?" Xiao Ming: "Expression pack."

10) For a person who looks like a failure, looking in the mirror is equivalent to watching a ghost film.

1 1) Teacher: "Students, after learning so many Chinese characters, which Chinese character is the coolest?" Xiao Ming replied: "Teacher, thong (cool)." Teacher: Get out!

12) Mercedes-Benz driver and BMW driver chat: "This gasoline is still too cheap. It is best to raise it to more than 70 liters. If the driver can't afford to add gasoline, this road will be smooth. " At this time, Rolls-Royce spoke later: "Dude, you are right. If only it rose to more than 700 liters, then BMW Mercedes-Benz would not be annoying! " "If it rises to more than 70,000 liters, then my car will be smoother!" The cyclist said.

13) Xiaohong said to her mother, "Many students in mom's class love to lie." Her mother taught Xiaohong earnestly, "Lying is wrong. Do you usually lie to your classmates? " Xiaohong replied, "Only once." Mother asked, "What did you say?" Xiaohong: I told my classmates that my mother is very beautiful.

14) The man stood in front of the bus stop sign and kept smiling. A man next to him was puzzled and asked him why he smirked like that. "I just fooled the conductor." "What's the matter?" "I bought a ticket and didn't get on the bus."

15) A good friend is when two people look at each other for no reason and laugh foolishly.

16) After dinner, my daughter pestered her father and said, "Dad, let me kiss you." Dad was very happy to hear that. He leaned over and asked, "Do you think dad is good to you?" The daughter kissed her father on the face several times and then said, "Well, I wiped my mouth clean this time. There are no napkins at home. Don't forget to buy it next time you go to the supermarket. "

17) It is said that it is not safe to play mobile phone while walking, which scared me to start playing while running.

18) gradually, you have all gone to different countries and cities, and my heart is all over the world, and the revival of the empire is just around the corner.

19) My friend's brother flew seven meters in a car accident because there was a big schoolbag behind him, saying that this was the first time he felt that reading changed his fate with useful knowledge.

20) Girl, I am either fierce or rebellious, but I don't like school but I like it.

2 1) There is no love or hate for no reason in the world, but TM is fat for no reason.

22) I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked. "Is there anything worse in the world?" I cried after eating the second one. "There really is." .

23) Hell is beautiful. Bad guys soak in magma every day and tell cold jokes.

24) Doing 75% of summer homework in 25% of summer vacation is called extreme challenge.

25) I always thought I liked men, but in fact I only liked handsome men.

26) Go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

27) I want to be the shining psycho in your life.

28) Be a strong woman. Whoever treats you as a spare tire will have a flat tire.

29) In Chinese class, the teacher asked everyone to explain the meaning of ugly words. Xiao Ming raised his hand and replied, Ugliness is that I allow a lump of shit in front of me, but I don't tolerate you standing in front of me. Teacher: Get out …

30) "Don't give up pursuing your dreams." "Don't worry, as long as I can continue to sleep, I won't get up easily."

Teacher's classic funny quotations 6 1, where there is perseverance, everything will succeed; Nothing is the same, everything is empty. Everyone's potential is unlimited. As long as you have strong perseverance and perseverance, you will succeed. May you become a person who can do things for a long time, and victory must belong to you!

2. As the saying goes, a thin camel is bigger than a horse; But as the saying goes, a plucked phoenix is not as good as a chicken! The plucked hair can grow back, and the dead camel can't live. Don't give up because of temporary difficulties and setbacks. Stick to it and make a comeback. Gold always shines!

3, as the saying goes: there are often swift horses, but Bole is not often; But as the saying goes; Wine is not afraid of the deep alley! Don't complain that you can't find Bole, or maybe you are not good enough. Constantly enrich yourself and believe that gold will always shine!

San Mao: I came back with a broken heart today. Jose: A broken heart can be stuck together. Sanmao: After gluing, there are still seams. Jose pulled Sanmao's hand to his chest and said, Here is another one made of gold. Bring yours and let's exchange it.

5, as the saying goes: the tree moves and dies, and people move and live; As the saying goes, a strong heart wears a stone. Sometimes trees will live well if they are moved to a good place; If people move to more places, they will die of poverty, so stick to it.

6, as the saying goes: do whatever it takes to be a friend; But as the saying goes: stab a friend twice for a beautiful woman! There is a knife on the head of the color word, buddy. Be careful when making friends. Don't harm people's hearts. Be wary of people. Take care of yourself!

7. There is no mountain of fire in life. Stick to it and there will be a miracle of life; Perseverance will have a bright future; Pay, there will be the joy of harvest; Work hard and you will have a wonderful life!

8. As the saying goes, we want two birds to fly in the sky with the same wing, and we want two branches of a tree to grow together on the ground. ; But as the saying goes: husband and wife are birds in the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster strikes! Everyone yearns for good wishes, but the cruelty of reality makes you and me very lonely. The straightforwardness of the mind and the openness of human nature are all challenging human choices. ...

9. As the saying goes: Man struggles upwards and water flows downwards; As the saying goes: you look too high, and only you are degraded. We must learn to be practical and set reasonable goals in order to shape ourselves better.

10, as the saying goes: every man for himself, the devil takes the hindmost, but as the saying goes: a gentleman takes the beauty of an adult. It can be seen that the saying is not a criterion, whether it is for yourself or yourself, you have to weigh it yourself!

1 1, the great charm of a great man comes from his ordinary.

12, "Uncle, your go-kart is so big!" -Lin Wanyu saw the tractor's first feeling.

13, the concept of this era can no longer be sold.

14. If Conan were still alive, he would be angry with Richard Moore.

15, the strategy cannot be implemented on the results and objectives, which is empty talk.

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