My friend's baby is 3 years old and looks very clever, but my friend complains that the child is disobedient, and the usual education depends on it! On weekends, my friends and I went to the vegetable market to buy food. The baby started the curious mode again, pointing at the vegetables and asking questions all the way. After answering a sentence or two, my friend became impatient and stopped responding to the baby. The child looked at his mother and ignored himself, but he couldn't hold back his inner curiosity and talked to himself, which made his friend who was already very upset even more upset. He couldn't help but scold the child sharply. "It's really too noisy. I haven't heard it several times. Can you stop it! " The child was stunned by his mother's reaction, a little wronged and a little pitiful.
Many parents easily get impatient when their children disobey their parents' discipline, and jump directly to emotional expression without a good reasoning process. Then, why do so many parents still tend to "yell" their children's education methods?
Why do some parents like the "roar" education method?
When parents are angry with their children, to some extent, their behavior will immediately converge. Although the effect is obvious in the short term, it is not conducive to the growth of children in the long run.
1. Impacted by impatience, impatient with children.
Children's ability to understand problems is not as profound as parents think, and parents need more patience in behavior expression. When parents tend to deal with parenting problems in an impatient way, it is easy to deal with them with excessive expressions. When children are in a state of fear and panic, it is difficult to get positive guidance from their parents' words, which is also a failure of education.
2. I didn't master the method of communicating with my children smoothly.
When parents can't master the two-way communication with their children, it is difficult to accurately convey the educational concept to their children. Although the original intention of parents' over-expression is to regulate their children's behavior, they only realize their own emotional venting in the end. When children can't understand their parents' thoughts, parents who are in ineffective communication can easily go into the misunderstanding of radical education.
Due to the influence of parents' autocratic thoughts, children can't get enough respect.
Parents must understand that although children are given life, they don't belong to them like things. Only by respecting the existence of children as independent individuals and breaking the traditional ideology of parental tyranny can we break through the ceiling of parental education. It is difficult for parents to give their children the respect they deserve because they are bound by authoritarian ideas.
The influence of parents' excessive emotion on their children.
Parents' emotional harm to their children is like a continuous cycle. When children become adults, they still can't get rid of the trauma caused by family influence. Even in the educational concept of children as adults, we can still see the adverse effects brought by parents' emotionality.
1. Causes children to feel inferior and withdrawn.
Children's nature can not be released because of their parents' excessive education methods, and excessive comfort and restrictions in the family environment make children easy to feel inferior in character.
Negative comments conveyed by parents will cause children's inner self-denial. When the self-evaluation system is destroyed by parents' blows, children are easily kidnapped by negative emotions and show a withdrawn state in their behavior habits.
2. Make children lack the opportunity to express their ideas and create a gap with their parents.
When parents don't know how to convey educational ideas in a way acceptable to their children, strong accusations and reprimands make their children more silent, which has a certain burden on expressing their true thoughts. When children's thoughts are suppressed for a long time, the enthusiasm of communicating with their parents will be reduced, and it will be difficult to communicate with their parents, resulting in the estrangement of parent-child relationship.
3. Have no opinion and tend to please.
When parents are too strong, children's behavior expression will be more inclined to obey their parents' arrangements. Nowadays, the emergence of many "good people" in society is closely related to the discipline of parents. At the same time, because children are afraid of their parents' emotional outbursts, they learn to observe words and feelings prematurely. In order to satisfy parents' emotional demands, they tend to please and please in their behavior expression.
How should parents get along with their children?
Helvetius said: "Even an ordinary child will become an extraordinary person as long as he is properly educated." It can be seen that the influence of family environment on children is far-reaching, and parents are the most key figures in the family environment. If parents' educational ideas are all implemented by "shouting", it is not only the sorrow of children, but also the sorrow of parents.
At the stage when children should be guided correctly, radical education methods just hinder the implementation of correct intervention.
1. Listen to the child's expression patiently.
Parents are willing to cooperate with their children's rhythm and keep patient communication with them. Parents will find their children's world more touching. Maybe there is a story of a child helping others behind the dirty hands. Perhaps the broken cup is originally filled with tea poured to the mother, giving the child some time to express himself, so that parents can better understand the child's heart.
2. Respect your baby's curiosity about the world
Children never stop exploring and learning the world. When they are full of curiosity, the process of parents patiently explaining or finding answers together will make children guard more happiness. Don't judge your baby's curiosity by the pros and cons of adults, and create more room for your child's future development.
3. Give children proper room for growth.
The growth of a baby is unique. When parents are willing to give this unique encouragement and support, children can have more room for growth. The act of making random comparisons is the stupidest thing in parents' education. It not only hurts the child's inner world, but also hinders the child's smooth growth. Only when parents have a big picture can children have a broader vision.