Filial piety is a method recognized by most parents in China. Even today, when quality education and appreciation education are deeply rooted in people's hearts, many parents still insist on using this method. Robert Allen, a top American anger management expert and clinical assistant professor of psychology, challenged this old theory in A World Without Anger. It can be seen that not only can there be no dutiful son under the stick, but the anger we show from it will also be passed on to the children.
It can be said that it is the wish of every parent (even parents with anger problems) to hope that their children will become happy, safe and highly functional adults when they grow up. Most parents will never forget the interests and happiness of their children. However, parents will soon realize that they must give guidance or discipline to help their children develop a healthy and effective lifestyle. The word "discipline" in English comes from the word "discipline", which means follower or apprentice. However, when people use the word "discipline", they often equate it with "severe punishment". Many people also take it for granted that severe punishment is necessary and justified in order to do a good job in raising children. This can be clearly seen from proverbs such as "A dutiful son comes from under a stick" and "If you don't fight, you will lose your weapon".
Adults with anger problems are particularly prone to accept biased discipline concepts to rationalize their strict discipline of their children. When is it easiest for such parents to punish their children? That is when they are angry, that is, when their judgment is seriously disturbed, but it is not necessarily the time when children's behavior needs to be corrected most. They didn't make any appropriate strategies to discipline their children.
When children are treated violently by their parents, they will feel deeply depressed and sometimes have a great anger: if I were your age, I would definitely fight back immediately. You wait and see, I will get this account back one day ... but at present, because she is still young, she has little choice. She can't beat her mother, and she can't pack up and leave. Sadly, she can only do one thing: internalize the negative information sent by her parents and begin to believe that she is really a bad person. Moreover, she may transfer some of her parents' anger to herself and become unhappy and unhappy; In fact, Freud said long ago that depression is "the result of anger turning inward." Besides, children also learn how to take it out on others from their parents. A vicious circle passed down from generation to generation has emerged since then.
Changshu doctor Tang education shares with you
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