In the process of parents raising their children, in fact, many parenting methods are wrong, but each parent has no experience to follow, and they all cross the river by feeling the stones and don't know the mistakes at all.
Parents feel humiliated when outsiders criticize their children. In order to make others feel that they will not condone children's mistakes, no matter what the cause is, no matter who is right or wrong, they will criticize children from the standpoint of outsiders.
Didn't we do the same when we were young?
Put yourself in others' shoes. When you disagree with your children, your parents are helping others. What was your mood at that time?
Slowly, in the child's mind, he will feel more and more inferior, because he feels that no one believes what he says, even his parents who love him most don't trust him, and he will become more and more timid when he is isolated and helpless.
In this wrong way of parenting, children's young hearts will be destroyed, so from now on, we must change the way of education. If someone criticizes your child in front of you again, this is the most correct way.
First: set an example for children.
If your child really made a mistake, as a parent, you should first take this responsibility and have the courage to admit it. Children are still young, and if they have these misdeeds, it is ultimately a matter of parents' education. Therefore, parents are mainly responsible for children's mistakes. At this time, don't be ashamed to admit your mistake because you are an adult and have to take care of your face. Instead, scold the children of the past.
This is to let parents set an example and set an example for their children. In fact, it is to tell him with practical actions that he should be brave enough to admit his mistakes. Of course, sometimes children's mistakes may have a bad influence. At this time, they should also carry out the necessary language education on the spot. When they get home, they should be separated from him. Let's communicate well and don't let the children be separated from their parents.
Second: stand with your children and face criticism and mistakes bravely.
Whether it is the child's fault or not, don't worry about him at this time. The first thing to do is to let children feel the trust of their parents. Put your hand gently on the child's shoulder, pass on your love and warmth to him, and let him feel that his parents are his strong backing and arms at this time. If he really did something wrong, he should face the mistake with his children and accept criticism together. If the child is doing the right thing, we should not be afraid of losing face, but should support the child and give him a kind of courage to fight for it.
Third: the most ignorant parents become angry from embarrassment, and this reaction is also the biggest blow to children.
The correct way to criticize your child in front of you is to be calm. It is most undesirable to get angry because of embarrassment. This practice will instantly destroy the very tall image in the child's mind, and it will not help the child get rid of this wrong behavior. Only by calming down can we have an accurate judgment on whether to admit our mistakes with our children or argue with them.
Fourth: If children are wronged, parents should help them to safeguard their own interests.
When you rationally analyze the cause and effect of the whole thing, it is obvious that your child has been wronged. At this time, you must not stop and be silently accused of hopelessness. Instead, we should guide and educate our children with our own actions and tell them that as long as it is just, we must safeguard it. We won't bully the weak, but we can't be bullied by others. Your practice will give your child great courage and bring him closer to justice.
What good educational methods are there in peacetime?