1, authoritative type
In most cases, the authoritative type is most conducive to children's growth, which is a rational and democratic way of upbringing. Parents have authority in children's minds. This authority comes from their understanding and respect for children, from their frequent communication with children and their help to children.
Parents set appropriate goals for their children, impose appropriate constraints on their behavior, and have clear rewards and punishments. Such children are independent, self-respecting, self-confident, good at self-control and problem-solving, like to associate with people, and have a certain sense of social responsibility.
2. Any type
Arbitrary parents demand that their children obey themselves absolutely, are very strict with their children and put forward high standards of behavior. If you are a little disobedient, you will be punished if you don't fight.
Such children often show anxiety, withdrawal and unhappiness, poor self-regulation and adaptability, and lack of social responsibility. In the long run, you will alienate your parents and have a rebellious attitude.
3, doting type
Spoiling parents are full of love and expectation for their children, but they lack control and requirements for their children, take an attitude of ignoring or accepting their children's violations, and rarely get angry or reprimanded.
Children who grow up in this way are immature, have poor self-control ability, often seek instant satisfaction by crying, are highly dependent on their parents, lack self-confidence, perseverance, perseverance and sense of responsibility, are impulsive and aggressive, and lack filial piety to their parents.
4. Neglect type
Neglected parents show indifference to their children's growth, lack of positive reaction of affection and love, and demand and control of behavior. I spend little time with my children, and sometimes I show a bored and unwilling attitude towards them.
Whatever the reason, this extreme neglect can also be regarded as abuse of children and deprivation of their emotional and material life.
It will make children have adaptation obstacles, lack interest in school life, poor academic performance and self-control, high aggression and indifference, and will show a higher tendency to commit crimes when they grow up.
Extended data
Such parents often manipulate their children's behavior in a subtle way and don't respect their opinions and choices. The following are some common control strategies:
1, social isolation
If you want to control a person, you must first create a closed environment to prevent him from contacting external information. We don't deny that parents should make their children vigilant and have a sense of self-protection. But excessive control will destroy a person's normal social activities. To report where to play and who to meet, ask for instructions early and report later to limit children's normal social interaction.
At the same time, instill in children: "No one else can believe it! Only parents in this world really care about you. " Over time, you will find that you have no trustworthy friends and no other social support except your parents.
2, belittle the accusation
When children make mistakes and are disobedient, parents will clearly accuse and reprimand them, and even degrade their personality. At the same time, when they are involved in all aspects of children's lives, they will confidently explain: "I am not doing this for your own good. Can parents harm you?" However, the control and coercion behind this "for your own good" is sending another message: you can't! You can't do anything without our guidance!
3. Economic control
The taste of economic independence is really hard. At this time, parents' economic control is the most powerful weapon. Controlling expenses is equivalent to controlling children's actions and activities. Even for economically independent adults, the economic means of controlling parents still works: "If you want XXX, find a way to pay the down payment yourself!" "
4. Emotional kidnapping
Making children feel guilty is a common emotional weapon to control parents. Even popular songs are teaching us: "Listen to your mother and don't let her get hurt." What a smooth hypnosis, imperative words, no room for refusal, and the consequences of refusal-"If you don't listen, your parents will get hurt." Implicitly conveyed the subsequent guilt, in one go.
Many children still can't get rid of this emotional control when they grow up. In the process of separation-individualization, they walk heavily in every step of gradually leaving their parents, and their hearts are full of anxiety and self-blame. Emotional kidnapping makes children feel that their growth and separation from their parents are cruelly "abandoning" them.