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Five notes on the course of family education instructor
First, the way to integrate into family education

On the educational model of family members from the perspective of tiger mother and cat father (movie short film)

Practice of parenting style consciousness

1. What are the differences in the way family members educate their children?

2. What kind of education do you think is better? Why?

3. Self-awareness, what is the parenting style of your family members?

Family members have different upbringing.

Grandpa: Tiger Mom's current achievements have strengthened Grandpa's confidence in education, and she continues to follow China's high-pressure education method in the education of her grandchildren.

Grandparents: I am very fond and indulgent, and all the requirements are met.

Tiger mother: autocratic and controlled education, strong and high pressure, high requirements for children.

Tiger Dad: Advocate democratic and tolerant personalized parenting style, advocate common growth with children, respect and hope to give children a relaxed growth space.

What is the way of family education?

Family parenting style: Parents' or other elders' views, attitudes and styles on children's parenting have certain internal consistency and stability.

Different family education makes different children.

Family rearing patterns lay the foundation for children's future.

Four typical ways of family education and their influence

First, conniving (high reaction, low requirements) children are more likely to show a sense of irregularity. Children are spoiled, making children ask too much and have no self (exaggerating "false self-centeredness").

Second, smart (responsive and demanding) parents have a positive influence on their children, and children are easy to show positive, initiative, strong self-control, independent and able to communicate well with others.

3. Neglect (low demand and low response) children have difficulty in establishing relationships with peers, inferiority, self-abandonment, loneliness, lack of self-control and poor emotional adjustment ability, and it is difficult to establish intimate relationships with others.

Fourth, children who have a desire for control (high demand and low response) are more likely to be creative, or may turn their children into "please", or may cause children to resist and resist.

Baumland's Four Family Education Models

Control type: thoughts, actions and emotions are not free, and the rules are too strict to wrap people inside and can't move.

Indulgence: all the requirements put forward by the child are met, and the child has an irregular feeling.

Neglect type: children are easy to live in their own world without responding to their needs or demands.

Wisdom: a rational and democratic way of raising children. Parents set appropriate goals for their children, impose appropriate constraints on their behavior, and have clear rewards and punishments.

Second, the influence and mystery of family rearing patterns.

Ten Common Family Education Phenomena

Phenomenon 1: Children always bother you on purpose.

Truth: Maybe you don't have enough physical intimacy with him, and he is eager to contact you.

Phenomenon 2: Children often lie.

Truth: Maybe it's because you overreacted to their mistakes.

Phenomenon 3: Children lack self-confidence.

Truth: Maybe it's because you give them more advice than encouragement.

Phenomenon 4: Children will not stick to themselves.

Truth: Maybe it's because when we were young, you always complained to them in public or in front of family and friends.

Phenomenon 5: Children are weak.

Truth: Maybe it's because you helped them too quickly. Please don't clean up every obstacle on your child's growth path.

Phenomenon 6: Children are jealous.

Truth: Maybe it's because you always compare him with other children.

Phenomenon 7: Children get angry easily.

Truth: Maybe it's because you didn't give them enough praise. Only when their behavior is incorrect can they attract your attention.

Phenomenon 8: Children don't know how to respect others' feelings.

Truth: Maybe it's because you always order them and don't pay attention to their feelings.

Phenomenon 9: Children have many bad habits.

Truth: Maybe it's because you don't realize the importance of habit cultivation.

Phenomenon 10: The child's behavior is rude.

Truth: Maybe I learned it from my parents or others around me.

Children are a mirror of the family, and problems within the family are often reflected through children. Behind every unworthy child, there must be a family with problems.

The most destructive words of a controlled family

×? I was right!

×? This is all for your own good!

The Secret Behind, a controlled parenting model.

Controlling parents:

First, there is no sense of security, so it is easier for mothers to control, not only children, but also husbands. Fear of death will control her, and anxiety about the future will be controlled.

Second, my parents are very strict with me. When I learn the control of my parents, I will control my children.

Don't deprive children of the right to grow and develop in the name of love.

Let children grow up safely and freely in the fence at home

The Secret Behind, a laissez-faire education model.

Parents who let themselves go.

Reason one: "alternative compensation" brought by family background.

Reason 2: Parents have no constant behavior rules and effective rule-making skills.

Reason 3: Parents don't have a correct view of judgment and upbringing.

Two Common Types of Neglecting Parents

Parents are partial to one of them.

Parents are immersed in past traumatic experiences and can't take care of their children.

The Secret Behind, a neglected parenting model.

Neglect parents

Reason 2: The children's parents are traumatic parents. They are in pain and can't pay attention to their children.

Don't look, don't listen, don't tell.

Ignoring parents is a kind of mental harm to children.

Third, suggestions on family rearing patterns.

self-consciousness

It is parents' nature to love children.

"Love children" is a science.

What kind of education is better?

What is right is the best.

There is no uniform standard and the best scheme for family education. Parents need to shoulder their responsibilities, give full play to their wisdom, grow up with their children, and explore ways of coexistence suitable for their families.

1. nagging Endless chatting arouses children's disgust and disgust.

2. reprimand? Vent your emotions and keep living? Attack, hit the child's self-esteem and sense of identity.

3. standard type? It is divorced from the actual high goals and requirements of children, which increases the pressure and burden of children.

4. Count? Keep blaming and put out the positive flame.

5. corporal punishment? Using physical violence instead of preaching makes children feel fear and sadness.

6. Tired? Parents add extra study time and content in order to get higher in the exam.

1. Set an example: Parents set a good example of learning to imitate and set an example.

2. Consciousness and introspection: Parents should be aware of their children's needs, understand why their children have such emotional reactions, and constantly examine their parenting styles, and don't bind their children in the name of love.

3. Error correction: When the child is wrong, guide the child to know where it is wrong.

4. Positive affirmation: Parents must always hug their children and give them positive affirmation, encouragement and praise.

5. Accept differences: Every child is born with personality. Parents should treat each child fairly, accept individual differences and guide them.

6. Give autonomy: Parents should give their children autonomy within a reasonable range, let him learn to choose, and let him be responsible for his choices.

7. Norms and constraints: Every family should have family rules, discuss them with children, and discuss the rules, punishments and rewards that they agree with and are willing to implement.