I. Special treatment
Children are superior in the family and take special care of them everywhere, such as "eating alone" and putting delicious food in front of him for him to enjoy alone; As an "only child", grandparents can skip their birthdays, and children have to buy big cakes to give gifts for their birthdays ... Such children feel special and are used to being superior, so they will inevitably become selfish, unsympathetic and will not care about others.
Second, deprivation of independence
For absolute safety, parents don't let their children go out of the house or play with other children. What's more, some children have become "small tails", and they can't live without their parents or the elderly, cuddling and sleeping, sitting next to each other and walking on their backs; If you put it in your mouth, you are afraid of melting, but if you spit it out, you are afraid of flying away. Such children will become timid and incompetent, lose self-confidence, become dependent, often become "gatekeepers", bully the weak at home and be timid outside, resulting in serious personality defects.
Third, pay too much attention.
His family has been taking care of him and accompanying him. During the Chinese New Year holiday, relatives and friends come and often laugh and laugh. Sometimes adults sit around him in the center, welcoming children to perform programs again and again, and applause continues. Such a child thinks he is the center and really becomes a "little sun". Everyone in the family revolves around him. He fidgets all the time, and his attention is extremely distracted. He is so crazy that he can't even talk when guests come.
Fourth, easy to satisfy.
Give the child whatever he wants. Yes Parents also give their children and primary school students a lot of pocket money, making it easier for children to meet. This kind of children will inevitably develop a bad character of not cherishing things, paying attention to material enjoyment, wasting money, not caring about others, and having no patience and hardship.
V face-to-face protection
Sometimes the father takes care of the children, and the mother protects: "Don't be too strict, he is still young." Some parents educate their children, and grandma will stand up and speak: "You can't ask for too much urgency. He will naturally get better when he is older; When you were young, you were far less outstanding than him! "Of course, such children can't be taught! Because he has no concept of right and wrong, he always has "protective umbrella" and "shelter", and the consequences are not only the distortion of children's personality, but also family discord sometimes.
Sixth, life is lazy.
Let children eat, play and study irregularly, do whatever they want, sleep late, skip meals, wander during the day, watch TV late at night and so on.
When such children grow up, they lack self-motivation and curiosity, muddle along, and work hard without end.
Seven, arranged instead.
I once asked some mothers if they would not let their children work, and some actually said, "I don't have time to hurt, but I still have the heart to let my children work?" Others said, "It's more troublesome to ask' little things' to do things, so I might as well help him." So three or four-year-old children still have to feed, but they can't dress. Children aged five or six don't do any housework, and they don't understand the fun of labor and the responsibility of helping their parents reduce their burdens. If this arrangement goes on, they will inevitably lose a hardworking, kind, compassionate, capable and self-motivated child. This is by no means sensational.
Eight, make a fuss
Originally, "newborn calves are not afraid of tigers", and children are not afraid of water, darkness, wrestling and illness. After wrestling, I often get up quietly and continue to play. Why did some children cry later? That is often caused by parents and grandparents. When children get sick, they panic. The end result of doting is that children will not let their parents leave. These children will be regarded as cowards.
Nine, pray for advice
For example, while coaxing children to eat and sleep, they promised to tell them three stories before eating. The child's psychology is that the more you beg him, the more awkward he is. Not only can't distinguish right from wrong, but also can't cultivate a sense of responsibility and a natural and graceful character, and the prestige of education has also been lost.
Ten, afraid of crying
As a result of accommodating children since childhood, children threaten their parents with crying, sleeping and not eating when they are unhappy. Spoiled parents have to cajole, give in, obey and accommodate. Parents who are afraid of their children crying are incompetent parents; Children who abuse their parents will become ruthless rebels, sowing the seeds of selfishness, ruthlessness, willfulness and lack of self-control in their character.
The above ten ways of doting will ruin children, and parents should take a warning after reading them. I also hope that these can help parents educate their children in the right way.