Almost every child has heard the most from his parents since childhood: "Be obedient … be good …". It is important for every child to be obedient, but some of his nature cannot be suppressed or completely ignored. Take myself as an example.

Every family has a hard experience, and so does mine. When I was a child, because I was the first child in my family, my parents were very strict with me, asking me to know some basic knowledge of life, do some basic housework, and be obedient and sensible. In order to please the adults, in their demands, I gradually became what they thought of as a "child"-good, sensible and obedient. However, when I was a child, I often thought, I am fine, why my sisters still don't like me very much, my aunts think I am too dull, and they all like my smart, lively and naughty sister and brother. Every time we have an argument with them, even if it is the fault of our brothers and sisters, the adults always say, "You are the boss of the family, can't you make room for people younger than you?" Every time I hear these words from adults, I see their preference for brothers and sisters. I know more than my sisters and I am more diligent than them. Why do you still think I'm inferior to them? Every time you ask me to do something, I do it slowly, because I want to do it carefully and perfectly. But why do adults still call me the old cotton picker (slow as a turtle)? ……"

Alas, adults ask too much. ...

I want to be as naughty as my brother and sister, but I'm afraid you won't like me if I'm not good. Every time they see children younger than me arguing with me about what I like, adults will always say, "You are the cutest and obedient doll, be good, take things to your younger brother (sister) ..." Every time I hear them say these words, I feel very sad and wronged, but I can't go against what adults say, otherwise I will be baptized by more heartfelt words. In fact, only I knew at that time. I don't want to be a good boy. I want to be a bad boy. Like my brothers and sisters, I can cry loudly every time I am wronged, instead of holding back my digestion. Therefore, when there are no adults at home, I am happier and more naughty than when they are there. When I see that many children around me, like my cousins at home, like to play with my lively and stubborn sister and ignore me, I always envy my sister, and at the same time I can only shut myself in my little house, sulking and sulking, and tears will fall out. ...

Sisters are like pets at home. Grandpa prefers the second sister, grandma prefers the third sister, and mom and dad prefer the little sister. So I especially liked sleeping at that time, because I could satisfy my inner needs by my own imagination. However, my family didn't sleep late ... I will also play two wronged people, one crying and needing comfort, the other comforting the crying "I", or comforting myself and convincing myself by asking and answering questions. I did a lot of bad things because of my inner jealousy. For example, I speak ill of my sister, steal my parents' money to buy snacks for other children or myself (of course, I was educated after being discovered by adults), draw my sister Barbie's face with crayons, and let my sister ask my grandfather for pocket money to share with me ... Every time I think about this, I feel really sad.

Actually ... when I was a child, I was like a child at my grandmother's house! ! Even when I was a child, I always cried to go home. Because of the love of my uncle and aunt, my brother and sister, I have been looking forward to going to my grandmother's house. Although I always feel homesick when I go there, at least I don't have to always care about the demands and opinions of my uncle, big brother, big sister and parents in menstruation. But when my brothers and sisters went there for the first time, I was always afraid that they would take all the love from my grandmother's house ... so I would speak ill of them and want them to ignore my brothers and sisters. Finally, finally, I found that no matter what I say about them, my uncles will never ignore their brothers and sisters. ...

? Even though I ended up in junior high school, I still envy my sisters' temper, even though they sometimes make my parents hurt their brains. Later, because I envied my sisters, I slowly began to learn from them to liven myself up, but liveliness was only superficial. I'm still that dull, always swallowing my heart. I don't know what to pay attention to in interpersonal communication, and I don't know how to control my emotions. Even if I gain some playmates after being lively, they will think my temper is strange after getting along for a long time-grumpy, stingy and a little boring. Later, I gradually noticed that each of them was afraid to get along with me in the end, not as casual as others. No matter how good I am to them, I can't let them treat me as a friend. So at that time, I always longed for and looked forward to a real friendship, a real way of getting along with friends. Later, I went to high school and suffered a lot because of those bad temper. Fortunately, I woke up in time, read a lot of books and tried to be better. But I still don't understand the emotional problems described in some abstracts and periodical stories I have read-friendship and love.

Therefore, starting from my own reality, I think that "obedient" education should not let children suppress their nature to please adults as they did when they were young. I think "obedient" should be an education that does not suppress children's nature and gives them a sense of self-judgment. Instead of treating children as "slaves" for their own self-interest, they are always obedient. Over time, they will not only fail to achieve results, but will harm children-let them have a sense of "servility" in their bones. Even if children want to get rid of it when they grow up, it takes a lot of effort.

? Moreover, childhood is a critical period for the formation of many good habits and behaviors. Adults should not just make children "obedient" and ignore their other aspects of development, such as children's emotions, psychology, knowledge, brain thinking ability and so on. The subject of education is the educated, so I think the subject of "obedient" education is children, and its essence is to let children release their nature, study happily and make positive progress. Instead of using children as tools to realize their own selfish desires. In the process of children's growth, we should not only evaluate their growth from the perspective of physical health, but also carefully observe their mental health activities, and guide, comfort and encourage them in time when they have some uncomfortable behaviors, instead of mocking and suppressing them.