Children are simple, but it is quite difficult to be a good parent. All parents in the world want their children to have a bright future. As long as they need to invest in their children, they will not leave their hands. And parents' laziness, rudeness, impatience, narrowness, snobbery, shirking responsibility, bad lifestyle and other bad behaviors are often easier to inherit, which directly affects children's experience and guides their ideology every day. Parents' incorrect family education strategies will affect children's personality all their lives.

First, how to educate successful children?

So far, scientists have not followed the lives of all families for a long time, so they can't clearly point out the best parenting skills. But they can be sure that some specific parental behaviors may lead to some psychological problems in their future, such as feeling depressed and anxious. According to the psychological research made by scientists, they also pointed out five kinds of parental behaviors that may lead to children's failure to become successful people in the future, as follows:

1, learn to be a lawyer instead of a "judge"

Some parents can't wait to become "judges" as soon as they see that their children have problems, which is very dangerous.

Children's inner world is rich and colorful, and parents should actively influence and educate their children. Without understanding their inner world, there is no way to talk about it. The first key to understanding children is to care about their self-esteem, safeguard their rights and become their trusted and respected friends.

That is, parents should treat their children like "lawyers", understand their inner needs, and always take safeguarding their legitimate rights and interests as their sole purpose.

2. tolerate children's different opinions

If our children are always happy to do what we say, life will be much easier-but this is not human nature. Therefore, when a child is disobedient, you should remember that he doesn't disrespect you, he just has a different view.

Teach children to understand that expressing their demands in an impolite way will not get good results.

For example, "you never take me to the park, my mother is not good!" " " .

You should teach children to make demands in a positive way.

"Can we go to the park after shopping?" .

With the gradual maturity of children's language ability, he can put forward his own requirements in a polite way. At the same time, parents should set an example for their children and lead by example.

3. Don't replace everything.

Nowadays, many parents don't let their children do anything and have the right to make their own decisions. The reason is to be afraid that the child will fail in the exam or avoid the sadness after the child encounters setbacks. But for children, how can they learn from their mistakes without experiencing failure? Moreover, a child will eventually face a major choice in life one day in the future. If he doesn't cultivate his abilities now, he can't grasp the future by himself.

Don't punish children by hitting them.

After 50 years' research on 1.6 million children, the research team of the University of Texas at Austin published their research results in 20 16, which confirmed that raising children by beating may lead to mental health and cognitive problems of children. In addition, some studies show that these beaten children are more destructive when they grow up, and may be more aggressive and deviant.

5. Cultivate children's good habits

A large number of facts have proved that habit is a tenacious force that can dominate a person's life. Everything about children begins with the cultivation of habits.

Habit is a big problem and great wisdom. The formation of good habits is not a day's work. Its main principles are: low starting point, strict requirements, small steps, fast pace, more activities, change, quick feedback and diligent reform.

The key to habit formation is decided in the first three days and one month. Parents should fully respect their children's rights and let them play the role of masters in habit formation.

In the process of family education, parents should not only pay attention to children's problems now, but also be vigilant in observing parents' defects, and sum up the knowledge and experience of educating children from adults, because it is easy to see problems from children, and the most useful real things need to calm down and think and refine. Educating children is not as complicated as parents think. Grasping parent-child relationship, habit formation and correct learning are not distant dreams. Parents become excellent parents and children become excellent children.