First, love is true love.
Excessive indulgence and strict autocracy are always two common wrong attitudes and practices. The former is unprincipled love for children, which is harmful to children's physical and mental development, so he emphasizes "love children, but never spoil them". Seeing the phenomenon that some parents do what children can and should do on their behalf, he pointed out that parents' responsibility is to help their children live, stand on their own feet and be a man, rather than "bear hardships" on their behalf, so he put forward two principles of life education: "Let the children do what they can" and "Let the children think what they can think". At the same time, he also pointed out that the autocratic and strict discipline method in family education is also undesirable, and the consequences of this discipline method can only be to destroy children's creativity and bind children's thoughts. The author advocates that family education should be democratic, and parents should treat their children equally and respect their personality. He particularly emphasized that "the father should be the child's partner", which is a manifestation of the democratization of family education. He believes that the father-son companionship game has many advantages, not only can communicate the feelings between father and son, increase the happiness of the family, but also can use the opportunity of companionship to educate children, and can also find out the bad behaviors and ideas of children and correct them in time.
Second, parents are children's teachers.
The first principle of parenthood is to respect the principle of setting an example. In infancy, parents are ideal people in children's minds, and their every move directly or indirectly affects children; Even in kindergarten, teachers and parents have equal rights to children, but because children and parents love each other deeply and spend a long time together, the influence on children is still particularly great. Often some children receive a good education at school, which can't resist the influence of family environment. Therefore, parents must set an example everywhere. Educating children is actually a process of parents' self-education and self-growth. In order to educate children, we should give up the irregular life as much as possible and obey the rules at any time.
Third, return the responsibility to the children.
For many parents, because they have high expectations and high requirements for their children, they are afraid of their children making mistakes. When they see a child making a mistake, they don't think about why the child made a mistake or how to help the child correct it. Instead, they tell the child's mistake at the first time and struggle with it. We are not telling our children that this is wrong, but criticizing them and severely warning them not to do this next time. What's more, we are afraid that children will not remember and not punish, which has buried the fear of making mistakes in their young hearts: "If you are badly wrong, don't be wrong"; "Mom and Dad are unhappy when they make mistakes, and I make them unhappy"; "Wrong parents will criticize me, do they not love me"; "My parents may punish me for my mistakes, and we are afraid".
These are all manifestations of parents' "intolerance" to their children's mistakes. Children shirk their responsibilities and blame their parents in order to protect themselves. After a long time, they have developed the habit of shirking their responsibilities when they encounter something. In fact, it was the parents who stole the responsibility of the children. It is normal for children to make mistakes, and they are constantly improving in the process of making mistakes. We should tolerate children's mistakes, help them find out the causes of mistakes and guide them to correct them. In this way, the "responsibility" is returned to the children, that is, the "anti-frustration ability" is returned to the children, and the responsibility is returned to the children.
At present, many of our parents and teachers are confused about the problems shown by their children. The reason is that we, as teachers, have not played a good role in demonstrating and guiding. On a deeper level, our teacher doesn't realize that children's education starts from birth. When the child is born, when the child babbles, when the child tries to take the first step in life for the first time, when the child asks his parents for the first time, and when the child shows emotions for the first time, we should all pay attention to and educate. But many times, parents, as their children's first teachers, don't realize this problem and show indifferent attitude towards their children's performance. Now that you are aware of this problem, you should start with the small things that you can do, such as asking your child to put tables and chairs, tidy up the dishes, wipe the table and wash the dishes after meals, check the homework, etc., and find out the problems of your child as soon as possible to help him correct them. "Learning" is not a happy thing, but learning results is an extremely happy thing. I believe you will stick to it. When you see the change of children, you will get great happiness.