These real events and data show that many children are afraid of difficulties and have poor psychological ability to bear setbacks. In recent years, this problem has aroused widespread concern in the whole society, and the voice of frustration education for children has become increasingly strong. Psychologists, educators, parents and teachers all call for "today's children need frustration education". Then, how to educate children about setbacks in family education?
The so-called frustration refers to people's nervous state and negative emotional reaction when they encounter insurmountable or thought insurmountable obstacles and interference in order to meet their own needs and achieve specific goals.
There are many reasons for the frustration of primary school students. Mainly includes:
(1) school environment. At present, the main educational methods are "success encouragement method" and "encouraging evaluation", trying to take care of students' self-esteem and enthusiasm. However, schools are not a vacuum society. Class cadres failed in the election, made mistakes in answering questions, were dissatisfied with the test results, were rejected by classmates, and were correctly criticized by teachers. It may cause frustration to children and bring them adverse reactions.
(2) Family environment. Today's children are all "little emperors" and "little princesses" in their parents' minds. They grew up under the careful care of their grandparents and parents, lived in the sun and absorbed the rain and dew. I'm the only one, and everything has the upper hand. Imagine, such a child, if he does not accept positive guidance from an early age, can he embark on the right path of life? They will only flinch when they encounter difficulties, lose confidence and hope when they are frustrated, and can't stand the blow. They will only push the boat with the current, not sail against it. No wonder every year in our country, primary school students are poisoned to death because they can't face their parents' education correctly, commit suicide by jumping off a building because of classmates' ridicule, abandon school and live on the streets because of the pressure of study, become jealous because of jealousy and embark on the road of crime. ...
(3) Social environment. At present, China is in a period of peaceful construction, enjoying national prosperity and people's security, rapid economic development and affluent people's lives. Children are spoiled since childhood, and their material and spiritual requirements are more easily met, with a strong sense of superiority and lack of psychological preparation for setbacks.
With the further development of market economy in China, our children will face a more intense competitive environment. Competition is cruel, and survival of the fittest is the law of social and economic activities. Their journey of growth is bound to encounter more obstacles, and it will never be smooth sailing. As the saying goes, "adversity in life is nine times out of ten", no matter who is on the road of life, he will encounter setbacks, big and small. Therefore, in order to make them stand up to setbacks and be brave in innovation in the future competition, we educators must let children out of the greenhouse, endure the hardships of life and give them more stepping stones from now on. Therefore, the significance of frustration education lies in transforming the negative psychological influence and harmful behavior of frustration into positive and beneficial behavior, so that children can understand that in order to achieve success and happiness, they must first understand failure, misfortune, frustration and pain, and a setback can deepen their understanding of life; Once you make a mistake, your awakening to life will increase to a higher level; Unfortunately, once, the understanding of the world was mature; After suffering once, I fully understand the meaning of success. It can be said that frustration education is the need of the development of the times.
It is of positive significance to educate students about setbacks so that they can face setbacks correctly, dare to face failures in study and life, overcome their own weaknesses and become healthy people, which will help them better adapt to society in the future.
I think the specific ways to cultivate frustration ability are as follows:
(1) Know yourself and improve yourself.
For primary school students, their pressure is nothing more than parents' urgent psychology of wanting their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed; Nothing is better than the level of academic performance and the quality of academic performance; It is nothing more than quarreling with classmates and having different opinions; It is nothing more than the teacher's severe criticism and the classmates' ridicule ... But how can a "little emperor" and "little princess" who are spoiled by their parents at home bear these pressures at once? Either be naughty with your parents; Either fight with classmates; Either become withdrawn; Either become eccentric; Either oppose the teacher, etc. It can be seen that cultivating children's self-education from an early age is the key to helping children grow up healthily.
1, guide children to know themselves correctly and understand themselves.
Guide children to know themselves correctly and know their strengths, weaknesses, hobbies, personalities and habits. Learn self-regulation, self-reflection, and consciously learn, find out the gap with others, learn from others' strengths, and make up for their own shortcomings. Only by knowing yourself and yourself can we constantly improve ourselves: treat ourselves correctly, get along with others, study better and face failure bravely. Especially the underachievers in the class, their lack of self-confidence leads to their inferiority complex, which seriously affects their physical and mental activities and learning ability, and makes their original intelligence unable to play normally. For example, Ruan Zile, a classmate in my class, has ADHD since childhood, also known as mild brain dysfunction syndrome (mbd). (refers to a disease in which children with normal or near-normal intelligence have uncontrollable symptoms such as hyperactivity, emotional instability, willful impulsiveness and inattention. In the face of such children, it is even more necessary to help them know themselves, understand themselves and face reality. After letting them know themselves clearly, they should adjust themselves, overcome themselves and build up confidence with a clear mind and a good attitude. We should take "failure is the mother of success" as the driving force to meet new challenges.
2. Approach the poor students and teach them to reflect.
In class groups, children with bad behavior are not liked by everyone, and teachers often criticize, educate and help him. While teachers criticize, educate and help, words may inevitably hurt students. In this case, if children don't have healthy thoughts and endurance, they can't face it correctly, which will lead to bad consequences. Especially some introverted children, who are not good at words, are more likely to have adverse consequences. In the face of such a child, we should enlighten and inspire him more, encourage him to check and reflect on himself, let him understand his own shortcomings, know his mistakes, find out the gap and misunderstanding with others, and find out his own problems. Educate them from an early age to know themselves, understand themselves, improve themselves and form a good habit of self-reflection, so that they will become healthy people. Take Feng, a classmate of this class, as an example. He is eccentric, usually quiet, solitary and likes to play on the road. His parents can't help him, he is always beating and cursing. He is rebellious, and the stronger he fights, the more he fights his parents. Whenever this happens, my parents will call me. I know that children are not bad in nature, smart, cute and naughty. Children can't be persuaded by beating and scolding education. Hard is soft. I approached him actively, chatted with him, and let the children in the class play with him actively, making him feel that teachers and classmates are amiable and lovely, and they are trustworthy people. In the process of communication and play, education such as the ability to distinguish right from wrong, ideology, moral behavior, self-examination, self-criticism and self-ability is permeated. At the same time, communicate with parents and change the way of education. According to parents, children are gradually correcting their bad behaviors and can go home on time every day after school. Facts have proved that only in the process of self-examination and self-reflection, can children truly realize their mistakes and faults, change their behavior, concentrate on their studies and become people with strong learning ability.
(B), hit, learn to face
The fatal point of life is that you can't stand setbacks. Once some people encounter a little trouble and a little setback, they can't accept it and treat it correctly. Some people are confused, depressed, unhappy, taciturn and helpless; Some people vent their anger and have a bad temper. They take all their anger out on others. Some people are stubborn, Looking for ways to commit suicide to end their own lives, ............................................................................................................................................................, but most children are spoiled and cry when they encounter difficulties and setbacks, relying on their parents and teachers. How to train children to face the blow from family, school and society? This problem must attract our attention.
1, face yourself
Keep a clear head when you are hit, and think more about the reasons why you are hit. If it is self-inflicted, we should face ourselves bravely, dare to assume our own responsibilities, and tell our children that no one is perfect, no one is a saint, and there are mistakes. If the shoes fit, put them on. Correcting mistakes is a good boy.
Step 2 face your parents
Parents all over the world want their children to be dragons and their daughters to be phoenixes. Parents will angrily criticize their children when they see their children's poor academic performance. Some children can't accept their parents' criticism and education, have conflicts with their parents, disobey their parents and even threaten them. Such children's thoughts and behaviors are on the verge of danger, and teachers should give them correct guidance: first, take the way of carrying out activities to let children understand and find out their mistakes in activities; The second is to communicate with children by means of communication to understand the good intentions of parents; The third is to give examples and phenomena of life, distinguish right from wrong, and correct your bad behavior.
Step 3 face the teacher
Children with good grades feel that school life is happy, they can study, play games and play activities, and regard school as a paradise. Children with poor grades feel that school life is painful, and they have to face difficulties in learning and teachers' requirements every day: homework can't be scribbled and can't be completed; You can't be naughty, you can't violate discipline ... the teacher will criticize and educate you, and it is inevitable that there will be harsh words. So, how to guide children to face the teacher's criticism and education correctly? First, let children understand the purpose of teacher education criticism; The second is to let children know their faults; The third is to let children put themselves in others' shoes. Fourth, the teacher should explain to the child his position in your heart. By doing these things, children will not be afraid of their teachers. They think teachers are strict and reasonable, broad and gentle. Only in this way can they truly face their teachers, dare to speak and admit their mistakes.
(3) Carry out colorful activities.
Group counseling at the event. (1) Carry out "advantages self-report" activities to cultivate self-confidence. In the activity, students first find their own advantages, and then other students find the advantages they have not found, so as to "spread out" the advantages as much as possible, find out more advantages and let them shine. This can make students feel happy and speak freely. Even students who feel inferior and seldom speak have found many advantages, displayed their "bright spots" and cultivated their self-confidence. (2) Carry out the activity of "Excellent People Accompany Our Bank" and set an example. Pupils like to imitate and are good at imitating. Once they have an example, they will imitate the actions of the example, compare, find out the gap and make clear the direction of their efforts. Educate students with examples of typical people who have become successful in setbacks in various countries, encourage students to cheer up in adversity, and turn pressure into motivation. The role model you choose must be convincing far and near. Beethoven, who suffered from deafness, finally became a world-famous musician. Zhang Haidi overcame setbacks with tenacious perseverance, mastered many foreign languages, mastered a lot of medical knowledge, published many books, and made brilliant achievements in his career, which is a "far" example that shocked the soul. At the same time, many examples of overcoming setbacks in our lives are more vivid and instructive. For example, laid-off workers find their life coordinates again, and those who fail in the college entrance examination become self-taught and so on. (3) Carry out "simulated consultation" activities to cultivate the ability to withstand setbacks. Ask students to write down their frustrations (or worries) on paper. After the collection, let each student play the role of a psychologist and randomly choose one to help solve and solve problems. In the process of helping others to relieve their troubles, students can achieve the purpose of self-regulation and self-education, so that students can experience that everyone will encounter setbacks and troubles in activities. In this way, students' ability to withstand setbacks will be significantly enhanced.