Parents should pay attention to the rebellious child, because he may do something that seems out of line, which requires us to communicate with the child calmly instead of swearing, which may be counterproductive.
When my child was in the second grade, I thought he was rebellious. When we were young, children used to do whatever we said and listen to adults. As they gradually come up with their own little ideas and work hard to realize them, they may bring a pile of garbage to their homes and make their rooms dirty and messy. In our opinion, it's just a joke, but what he feels is the joy of turning them into reality. This is the contrast. Many of our parents may not be able to stand this and may have conflicts with their children. We should look at the problem from the perspective of children. Children in this period are also very sensitive and may talk back to their parents. However, this is an unintentional move by a child. Don't surf the Internet easily. We should roll with the punches and roll with the punches. The stricter the parents are, the more rebellious the children are, which may prompt them to avoid their parents and not want to go home. We should take the initiative to understand their thoughts and accompany them.
Rebellious children are an important period for the formation of outlook on life and values. We should guide ourselves reasonably, put ourselves and our children in the same position and consider each other's feelings. You can't think that you are an elder and you can arbitrarily interfere with children and deny them. Many teenagers who embark on the road of crime have negative thoughts because of the contradiction with their families during this period, which greatly affects the road they choose in the future. When they encounter things, they may be more extreme and narrow-minded.
When children grow up, our thoughts will grow with them. We can't always think that children are still young and just scold them. When children are psychologically mature, their self-esteem will be greatly improved. We should respect our children, understand them, and try to get along with them by making friends, which will have unexpected results.
In the face of rebellious children, parents should first calm down, in other words, practice.
I don't quite agree with the rebellious period of children. It is better to say that the child has encountered setbacks, and the child wants to bear or solve it alone, trying to break through the restrictions or control of parents. Therefore, children and parents must have different degrees of conflict.
Therefore, parents should not "show their parents' genealogy" at this moment, but lower their posture and strive to be listeners and supporters of their children, and the relationship will naturally be harmonious!
First of all, congratulations!
First of all, congratulations to those parents who think their children have entered a "rebellious period", because this shows that your children have grown up and become more and more independent, even though these thoughts and behaviors of children are "incorrect" and "rebellious" in the eyes of parents! But after all, children are becoming more and more independent, and no parents hope that their children will always be a "giant baby" without their parents!
Second, the "rebellious period" is a false concept for boys and girls, which will mislead adults and children.
What is treason? Adults are called rebellious because their children are not as obedient and obedient as they were when they were young?
The process of children's growth is like a pendulum, swinging from side to side with parents as the center, and the swing range is getting bigger and bigger. Finally, they leave their parents as the center and become independent adults!
I really don't understand, just watch the animal world of CCTV 8! As a young lion from focusing on the lioness to leaving the pride independently.
Third, how should parents get along with their children who have entered the so-called "rebellious period"?
1 I understand that this is an inevitable process for children to grow into independence step by step and should be treated with joy.
Don't force children's views and behaviors to be exactly the same as those of adults. It is treason to think that children don't follow their own ideas.
Respect children's thoughts and behaviors, even if they seem naive to you.
Don't expect yourself to tell your child "truth", and the child will understand. Listen, you know, do, you understand. Any thoughts and behaviors of children should be encouraged to try (under the premise of safety), and it is best to wait until the children have done it before reflecting and summing up with them. Parents cannot deprive their children of the right to try and practice.
At the same time, gradually let children know that what ideas lead to what actions will also lead to corresponding results. Children should know how to be responsible for the results caused by their chosen "behavior"!
The characteristics of the rebellious period:
The rebellious period of general boys is 12 to 15. The most obvious symptom of the rebellious period is that he loves to talk back, likes to spit, and is keen on online games or songs. What changes have been made to the rebellious boys? They especially like to stay at home, hate to hear nagging, and often get upset or out of control for no reason. If the child has these symptoms, then parents must pay attention to them.
Years ago, the way I got along with my children was to quarrel for three days and quarrel for two days. I was angry with him and didn't understand me at all. I don't love me. I'm in menopause. Why didn't I be more considerate? Why do children talk back and say that they are still rebellious? I really didn't care much at that time. Later, after several quarrels, I found that many problems were my own.
The story of my rebellious children
Last time we quarreled, I ignored him all day, even if he apologized. Later, an article was sent to me, which is the story of Tao Xingzhi's four candies to educate people. A child hit a classmate and Tao Xingzhi told him to wait for him in the office. The child arrived on time. Tao Xingzhi gave him a candy, praised him as a punctual child, and gave him a second one, saying that children listen to him and Tao Xingzhi when hitting people. At this point, the boy cried and told Tao Xingzhi that he was wrong. He shouldn't hit his classmates. Finally, Tao Xingzhi rewarded the fourth candy and praised the child for correcting his mistake. I heard this story a long time ago, but when the children showed it to me again, I reviewed it to alert myself to my behavior.
Arguing with children is the most harmful thing. Why do rebellious children always quarrel with us? Because children grow up and have their own opinions and ideas, which is a good thing. We always treat them as children, and children certainly don't like them, just as mother must make us wear long pants in autumn. When children grow up, the way we love should also learn to grow up. Know more, know more about children.
What should we do in the face of rebellious children?
Remember not to nag, rebellious children grow up, there are some things we can believe that children can do well by themselves, so don't nag too much, which will cause children's disgust.
Listen more, encourage more and talk less when encountering problems. Children often complain to you about too much homework. When you are in a bad mood, you should learn to accept your child's emotions, listen to him more, and don't criticize or accuse him. It would be much better if he said it. When facing children, learn to control your emotions.
Play games with children or go outdoors. Usually nothing, playing ball games with children, climbing mountains, opening up and chatting like friends. Such activities are conducive to the growth of children.
If you have something to say to your child, write it down for him, or put it on a post-it note somewhere, and the child will understand what is going on when he sees it, which will get twice the result with half the effort.
Don't beat and scold children during the rebellious period.
Beating and scolding children is the most incompetent performance of parents, which will also reduce their IQ. What happened to hitting the child? This will make children lose the opportunity to reflect. Parents may not think that corporal punishment can not only play an educational role, but also alleviate the child's sense of guilt, so that the child can feel that he has suffered the loss of atonement and can make mistakes with peace of mind next time. On the contrary, many mothers will fall into deep remorse after hitting their children, and as a result, they will change their methods to compensate their children. If I had known this, why bother?
Beating and scolding children will also help them learn to fight violence with violence. Parents are their first teachers. What really affects children is often not what we say, but what we do. When we educate our children by beating and cursing, we set the worst example for them. Beating and scolding children will also reduce their IQ and EQ, and corporal punishment will cause great psychological pressure to children and make them unable to concentrate. Many children who are beaten live in anxiety and panic, and they are always suspicious, which will not only destroy the parent-child relationship, but also cause a lack of security. It will also affect their future interpersonal communication and personal development, and even lead to depression.
A more effective way than beating children is to discipline them positively and raise them in a gentle and firm way.
1. Understand their conflicts and uncontrollable growth; Because their growing needs don't match their actual abilities, we need to understand them at this time and then give them appropriate help at the right time; Facing children's learning pressure, understand their difficulties and pressures, accept their present situation, and work with them to set their own goals.
2. Accept this fact instead of trying to blame and control it. Parents can't suppress it, in fact, they can't suppress it. The result of suppression is that Mars hits the war at home of the earth.
3. Guide them to vent their emotions in a correct and appropriate way-such as exercise, such as effective dialogue.
When it comes to children's rebellious period, I have read such a sentence in a book: "What children rebel in adolescence is actually not their parents, but their poor methods of discipline."
My mother is gentle and kind, and she has been kind to my brother and sister all her life. Our brother and sister grew up in a vigorous adolescence, not a so-called rebellious period. I learn to be a mother like my mother, and so does my daughter. She is only in adolescence, and there is no rebellious period. Her classmates all say that she is a good daughter. She teased her by imitating the way her mother answered the phone. She smiled and spoke to us in a very polite tone. Now senior three, the college entrance examination is coming soon, and I am still sunny, confident and optimistic.
When the child is very young, we pay great attention to the attitude towards the elders and show her that we are also very polite to our parents-in-law. We lead by example and educate our children by example.
Children are rebellious. As parents, it is right for us to look for reasons from ourselves first. Your question is also what most parents want to ask. Parents' patience, love and care are the best education for children's adolescence.
As the old saying goes, "There is no better way to know a son than a father" and "Mother and child are connected". Parents are the people who know their children best. I believe that you will be able to communicate well with your children, get along well, and spend this little rebellious period. May you live happily all your lives!
We know that in the process of human growth, due to physiological and psychological changes, there will be special reactions at some time. For example, there will be adolescence and rebellion in childhood, and menopause in middle age. It should be said that this is a psychological reaction, and most people will get through it smoothly. However, as parents or family, we should give them more help.
First of all, we must affirm or agree. For example, children enter a rebellious period. Generally, children are in junior high school at this time. They face many choices, temptations and difficulties. As parents, we can no longer give them material rewards as before, but should give them more spiritual encouragement. For example, to affirm their efforts and efforts, we should first agree with their views and help them understand the correct concept of right and wrong and outlook on life.
The second is to pay attention to and guide children's psychology. When children enter junior high school, it means meeting more challenges. Excellent children may enter junior high school and no longer be excellent. Academic difficulties may hurt their self-confidence, communication between classmates may become complicated, and bad information may flood their brains. At this time, if there is no parents' attention and guidance, then the child can only be pushed to the society, and then become problem of juvenile.
Finally, the cooperation between parents and teachers. Home-school cooperation has always been advocated by society. As a parent, only by communicating with the teacher can we find the children's small mistakes in time and help them correct them, so as not to cause big problems.
What should parents do when facing rebellious boys?
First of all, parents should know that the boy's self-awareness becomes stronger during the rebellious period. He thinks that when he grows up, he can make his own decisions. He doesn't want to listen to his parents' nagging and arrangements, and he hates his parents' condescending speeches and rambling. During this period, parents should learn more about and listen to his opinions and ideas, and mainly discuss and talk as friends. He will be happier as a friend, and his parents can guide him. After the rebellious period, the child will naturally understand.
The boy entered the rebellious period of youth, which marked that he changed from a child to an adult. He has his own thoughts and ideas, no longer depends on his parents, and wants independence and space. Many parents can't see the change of their children, and still treat him as a child and discipline him strictly. At this time, children are prone to conflicts with their parents. So how do parents deal with the boy's rebellion? Hou Ma has been focusing on parenting education for more than ten years. Now, let's talk about how to get along with them.
1. The boy has entered the rebellious period of youth and is already an adult. Parents should not treat them as children, get along with him as equals, pay attention to the tone of speech when communicating with him, and don't suppress him as parents.
Pay more attention to the child, not just his academic performance. Parents should help him with his ideas and realize them with him. When a child feels the love from his parents, he naturally won't object to his parents, and he is willing to talk to them.
Parents should make more positive comments on their children's thoughts and practices and less criticism.
4. Respect the child's self-esteem, don't beat him, don't beat and scold the child.
Adolescent children's thoughts are still immature and their values are forming. Parents should give guidance, don't let him be influenced by bad social atmosphere, and help him establish correct values.