In China's traditional ethics, the requirements for women are harsh, and the so-called "three obedience" and "four virtues" are the foundation of women's existence. So what are "three obedience" and "four virtues"?
The so-called "three obedience" means: don't marry from the father, marry from the husband, and the husband dies in the child. It means that girls should listen to their parents' instructions before getting married, and don't contradict the instructions of their elders at will, because their social knowledge is rich and has fundamental guiding significance; After marriage, you should be polite to your husband, keep a house and practice with your husband, respect the old and love the young; If the husband unfortunately dies before himself, he should stick to his duties, find ways to raise the children and respect their philosophy of life. Obedience here is not "following" in the superficial sense, but the essence of "engaging" with the nature of work.
The so-called four virtues refer to: virtue, tolerance, words and deeds, that is to say, being a woman, the first thing is morality, and being upright; Then there are looks (pointing out that you should be dignified and steady, and you can't be frivolous and casual), words (meaning that you should be free to add meaning when talking to others, understand what others say, and know what you should and shouldn't say) and the way of running a family (the way of running a family includes taking care of your husband, educating children, respecting the old and loving the young, being thrifty and so on).
The so-called "three obedience and four virtues" and "three obedience" means "at home from the father, married from the husband, married from the child." Especially this "obedient husband", that is, after her husband's death, not only can the wife not remarry, but she must always obey her son's leadership. Such a woman can be written in the female biography of history books. "Four virtues" refers to "female virtue, female speech, female appearance and female merit". "Women's virtue", good moral character; "Women's word", words and deeds should conform to China's traditional etiquette norms, and be good for in-laws, sisters-in-law, husbands and children; "Woman's face" should be beautiful but not coquettish; "Women workers" should focus on pot tables, grinding tables and kang tables in their daily lives, especially by hand, and the food should be delicious. The final establishment of the standard of "three obedience and four virtues" was actually completed in the Song Dynasty.
In the past, the most basic criterion for examining a woman was "the husband died and the son succeeded" in the "three obedience and four virtues", that is, it took decades to be widowed before it could be written into the official history of Women's History.