But even a small complaint from a child's mouth may trigger a war at home. Especially in today's families, if a child's mother goes to work, her mother-in-law will usually come to help take care of the child, and there will inevitably be some conflicts in educational concepts between the two generations.
Mothers sometimes complain to their husbands behind their mothers' backs. These words were learned by children and told to grandma. Grandmothers dare not quarrel directly with their daughters-in-law, so they can only call their sons and call them. Daughter-in-law is more wronged when she listens to her mother-in-law's criticism.
My son told my grandmother what I said. Li Hua's child is four years old this year. Once when she complained to her husband about her mother-in-law, the child heard her. As a result, her mother-in-law came to see her the next day. Mother-in-law asked Li Hua what she had done wrong. You're still at a loss. She asked her mother-in-law if there was any misunderstanding. Mother-in-law said to take the children out to play today. They want to play with sand.
She refused the child's request on the grounds that the sand was too dirty. The child was very angry and pointed at her nose and said, mom says you are fake and clean. While crying, my mother-in-law pointed to Li Hua and said, I have worked hard to help you take care of your children and take things out. Li Hua is not a soft persimmon either. She immediately pointed to her mother-in-law and said, Don't you always think that I can't wash this and that?
After listening to Li Hua's words, her mother-in-law began to pack her clothes and prepare to return to her hometown. Li Hua also knows that he shouldn't speak ill of his mother-in-law, but he just said it casually. Unexpectedly, it reached her ears, but her mother-in-law came to ask questions. Li Hua couldn't help but apologize to her mother-in-law.
The influence of children's messages is 1, which is not conducive to their own personality shaping.
It's a big disadvantage to spread it out. A gossipy woman won't achieve much. As soon as he hears the slightest sign of trouble, he will rush up and spread it everywhere. This is a manifestation of conformity. He never thinks about the truth of this matter and whether it has anything to do with himself. He will not consider both sides of the problem dialectically. This is a sign that there is no independent personality.
Like the emperor's new clothes, they choose to turn a blind eye to the truth and only want to believe what others tell them. This kind of psychology is also a typical herd mentality. Everyone is talking about it. If you don't say what everyone says, it's easy to be labeled as an alternative.
People with this kind of thinking are often difficult to achieve a great event, because they can't objectively analyze the feasibility of things, so they are doomed to be mediocre.
2. Not conducive to interpersonal relationships
No one wants to be friends with provocative people. Such people always transmit some negative energy. They don't distinguish between what others will feel comfortable and what others will feel harsh.
In the general cognition of the public, people who often sow discord are often gloomy inside. They can't see that others are better than themselves, so they always use some words to stimulate others. He wants to comfort himself by watching a person's performance after being provoked.
Such people often step on other people's pain points and always mention the past that everyone is unwilling to mention, so many people will avoid them and their lives will be labeled as villains.
3. Family relations are very tense
Many family relationships will be hurt by this. As we all know, the bond between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law is her husband. If the husband is a messenger since he was a child, then he will also tell each other about her mother-in-law's dissatisfaction with her daughter-in-law and her daughter-in-law's complaints about her mother-in-law. Two people living under one roof have become enemies ever since.
There is an old saying in China that "a good son hides at both ends, and a bad son spreads at both ends." It is difficult for two people with different birth backgrounds and education levels to blend together. It is normal to have some friction with each other, and it is impossible to get along exactly like mother and daughter. If a husband sends a message in the middle, then the superficial peace can't be achieved, and the only way left is to go their separate ways.
Parents should pay attention to these points 1. Watch your words and deeds.
Parents should pay attention to avoid their children when talking about some private things. Children are too young to tell which words are harmful to people and which words are harmless to people. Once parents discuss things related to others, it is best to choose when the children can't hear them.
Everyone has his own subjective imagination when describing others. Adults will judge whether others' subjective imagination is biased according to one's words and deeds, but children, especially young children, will hardly question their parents' words.
When parents are biased against a person, children often don't like this person, which is unfair to other family members. Maybe there is a gap between the child's grandmother and the child's mother, but they all love children. If a child listens to the slander of one party to the other, it will cause the other party to resist, which is a painful blow to the offended party, so no one can use the child as a weapon to stab another person who loves her.
At the same time, when parents face some gossip, it is also a good education for their children not to spread it or listen to it.
2. Pay attention to moral education
Pay attention to guiding children's morality in early childhood. A person's moral level directly determines a person's future. Parents should cultivate their children's enterprising and optimistic personality and let them know tolerance, objectivity and fairness.
Good moral cultivation depends not only on the knowledge in books, but also on the words and deeds of parents. Parents should never have two voices when educating their children. Parents must speak with one voice and speak with one voice on the same issue, otherwise children will do what their father said to please their father and what their mother said to please their mother. It is easy to form the bad habit of lying and duplicity.
Parents can't take grades as the only criterion to measure their children's quality. They should encourage their children to become honest and kind people. Achievement is only a recognition of a person's efforts in learning, and the quality of personality is the prerequisite for identifying a person's bright future.
3. Create a harmonious family atmosphere
If there is no good environment, it is not conducive to the growth of children. A harmonious family atmosphere can make children feel warm and reliable. Children who grow up in such a family know how to live in harmony with others. More importantly, they have enough sense of security to support them to do more meaningful things.
Building a harmonious family atmosphere is inseparable from mutual appreciation between parents, as long as everyone has shortcomings. However, loving couples just want to forget those shortcomings and only see each other's advantages. This model of mutual appreciation and tolerance will benefit children greatly. Smart parents seldom blame their children because they know that appreciation is more powerful than blame.
Once a child makes a mistake, parents will accompany the child to find out the cause of the mistake, and go to the correction meeting with him to make the child feel tolerant, and they will treat others with the same tolerant attitude in the future.
4. Don't spoil too much
Don't spoil children too much. Give them whatever they want as long as they cry. Don't let them feel that crying is their most powerful weapon. They can communicate directly with their parents what they want, and satisfy it three times and twice, which will not only make them feel happy, but also let them know how to express their needs correctly and let them know that their parents have limited ability and can't satisfy everything.
If parents spoil their children too much, they will form the idea of "being the only one", as if people all over the world should spoil them and spoil them. Once this idea is formed, it will be very unfavorable for children's future interpersonal communication. Let the children know that everyone is equal, and only by respecting others will others respect you. Selfish people are often disliked by others, and equal pay for equal work is the premise of establishing a good relationship.