Therefore, when children make mistakes, it is more important to blame or punish. For scolding, it has gradually withdrawn from the stage of human historical performance. Of course, parents have different opinions.
Pro-school: Since ancient times, there has been a saying that "if you don't fight, you will lose your weapon". It can be seen that beating and scolding children is a parenting education method handed down by ancestors. Especially in the rebellious period, boys will continue to do things that have no bottom line and principles in addition to singing against their parents, so they need to have a good fight to make them unforgettable for a long time.
Objection: I was beaten when I was a child, and I still feel a little shaky in retrospect. As the parents of the new era, it is really against beating and scolding children, and it is too harmful to provide children with physical and mental depth. Children have only worries and fears about their parents.
The initial intention of beating and scolding children is nothing more than feeling that they have made a serious mistake, and I hope they can correct it. The original intention is good, but the form of scolding is not good. On the contrary, it is easier to lose more than it is worth, making children more rebellious. Beating children is not the only thing. Even if you "torture" them at first, you will resist and show yourself later.
From the perspective of culture and education alone, beating and scolding education may still have serious consequences. Principles: Deception, stealing and bullying the weak can be taught seriously. No matter how well you speak, children may not listen, and the same mistake will happen again.
The effective way is to "fight" mercilessly, so that children know that this is also a matter of principle and the moral bottom line of parents. Small mistakes can be blamed or even ignored; But it's not good to be wrong, so you must accept the reality of your own problems.
Of course, there are principles for beating children. Parents are not advised to beat and scold their children, but the mistakes that touch the bottom line can still be talked about. Generally speaking, it is a word: you can hit your child, but you should pay attention to the way and appropriate limits to avoid aggravating the contradiction between parents and children.
First, the principle of beating and scolding children must be kept in mind 1. It is only a seriously incorrect guidance and education for children, which is the standard of "talking about things" that we often say. There is no need to mention it at any time. There are unnecessary phenomena. Don't hit children. That's also the basic principle. If you want to know the difference between carelessness and intention, don't label them.
2. If you don't beat your child in public, even if you do something wrong, please ask your parents to insist on "don't scold in public" to safeguard your baby's self-esteem. Many parents just want to educate their children, but ignore their mental health. If everyone goes to culture and education, the children will be particularly pitiful, even a little sad, and their faces and self-esteem will be shattered.
3, "fight" first can't tell the truth. After the child understands that he has made a mistake, he will feel a little worried because he doesn't know how his parents will punish him. This alone proves that children have room for correction, and parents don't have to scold everything. Sometimes, if you scold too much, it will naturally be less useful.
Second, the warm advice to parents can hit children, but we must pay attention to the method, parents can not be reckless. Remember, beating is not the purpose, but recognizing mistakes and correcting them. If the baby has the following reaction, parents should stop it quickly, indicating that there has been rebellious psychology.
Try to resist each child's different personality. When he tried his best to resist, it showed that the child's attitude had changed. At this moment, he stood on the opposite side of his parents, and he must stop in time, otherwise it will push the child to a farther distance.
(2) The eyes are dull and the parents are silent. The children have nothing to reflect. The whole person looks particularly unsalable and there is no good data signal. When I suffer this kind of injury alone, it means that I don't care anymore, and I feel like a broken jar, but I have no affection and dependence on my parents.
You can educate your children calmly. I sincerely hope that parents can gather their anger and talk to their children in a calm tone and behavior. Calm parents will also affect children's mood and reduce the war between parents and children. A calm state of mind is very good for children's mental health, which is conducive to children to develop a good temperament.
Write at the end: Compared with other methods, the effect of beating and scolding children is the most obvious. Who is not afraid of being beaten? However, this method will lead children further and cannot achieve the results that parents want. Sometimes, if you make a mistake once or twice, you can still choose to beat and scold, but the frequency can't be too much and you can't force it.