?
first stage
What I want to bring to you this week is a family education book, Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother. This book is mainly based on the author Chua Meier's personal experience. In the form of storytelling, tell us how tiger mother Chua Meier raised her two daughters with Chinese education. At the same time, it also shows her Chinese educational philosophy and her struggle process. She likes the traditional education in China. She regards children as an extension of her wishes. She believes that only by insisting on high requirements for children and constantly urging them to do a lot of exercises can children stand out. In fact, there are not only tiger mothers, but also similar wolf fathers. What they have in common is that they all believe that only by constantly forcing children to practice can they tap their potential, treat them strictly and raise excellent children. This kind of education has aroused discussions at home and abroad, so what are the advantages and disadvantages of this kind of education? Is this kind of education meaningful? After listening to this book, you should find the answer. I will interpret this book for you through three programs.
After having children, how to cultivate children has become the biggest confusion for many parents. They often ask themselves, I let my children attend this cram school and that painting class every day, right? How to educate children and make them become excellent people? The author of this book, Chua Meier, tells us how she brought up two Harvard high flyers with her personal experience of educating her two daughters. I believe her educational methods will also give you some inspiration.
"Don't let children lose at the starting line" is the anxiety that every parent in China will encounter, so parents try their best to educate their children, invite the best teachers for their children, learn the best courses, and expect their children to become social elites; On the other hand, some parents follow the western way of educating their children, hoping to give them a free, happy and carefree life, and even send their children to the United States to study and enjoy the relaxed study life in primary schools. Which of the two is right? What kind of education is better? After reading this book, the author's experience may open another door for you. As a Chinese mother living in the United States, she has always insisted on Chinese education, and finally her two daughters were admitted to Harvard University. And has a warm, healthy personality and outstanding ability. Does this prove that education in China is the best education? Don't worry, it's not too late to judge after I finish reading this book.
The author Chua Meier graduated from Harvard Law School and is a tenured professor at Yale University. She has written many bestsellers, such as The World on the Stove and Age of Empires. This book has also reached the best seller list in The New York Times, with global sales exceeding 5 million copies, translated into more than 30 languages, spread all over the world, and aroused heated discussion. The author tells you how she usually educates her two daughters by telling stories. You can read the story and learn about this tiger mother's educational philosophy.
At the same time, as a parent, have you encountered the following three problems?
First question: Which is better, China education or American education? Many parents advocate American-style education and think that children's freedom and happiness are the most important, but is this absolute?
The second question: Should parents compromise with their children? Should parents strictly train their children when they are very young? Many parents worry that if they are too strict with their children, they will resist and be driven crazy.
The third question: How to give children proper freedom? This is also a technical job, too indulgent, afraid that children will degenerate, too strict, and afraid that children will be annoyed.
These problems are often encountered in the process of educating children, and are also the key issues to be discussed in this book. The author gave her views from interesting stories.
This week, I will extract three essence parts of this book and explain them to you in detail. They are: how to choose Chinese education and western education; Should parents compromise with their children? How to give children proper freedom?
Today we are going to introduce the first part of the book "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother": which is better, Chinese education or western education? Which way should parents use?
The dispute between Chinese and western education has always occurred in Chua Meier's family, that is, Tiger Mother's family. Because Chua Meier's husband is an American Jew, she advocates western education, while Tiger Mother believes in China education, so the dispute between Chinese and western education is inevitable. After the publication of this book, it also caused fierce controversy in the United States and China. There are different opinions about which is better. At first, the tiger mother experienced a fierce ideological struggle when educating her children. Finally, she chose to train her two daughters with Chinese education.
Tiger mother's father is Chinese-American. After getting married, she immigrated to the United States and taught in a university. She is very interested in everything in America, but her parents teach her Chinese at home. Tiger mother had to speak Chinese at home when she was a child and got an A in the exam. She does well in all aspects, but her parents seldom praise her. It can be seen that Chinese education is characterized by high demands on children and will not praise them at will. Western education, on the other hand, advocates giving children freedom, obeying their inner wishes, respecting their hobbies, constantly praising them and protecting their self-esteem. So Tiger Mother scoffed at western education, and she firmly denied it. She believes that many western parents follow their children's hobby, that is, allowing their children to surf facebook for ten hours, which is a waste of time; Asking too much of them will bury their potential. Wait, finally Tiger Mother chose Chinese education, but it was not easy for her, and it was the beginning of a nightmare for her two daughters.
Sophia, the first daughter of Tiger Mother, has had high hopes from birth. But unlike western mothers, Tiger Mother will not praise and encourage Sophia to study, but rely on high expectations and repeated practice to make her progress. Sophia was able to read English letters when 18 months old, which surprised pediatricians. When she was 3 years old, she finished reading the little woman's simplified book, and she could also summarize it in Chinese. In our opinion, the child is really something. But mother tiger is not satisfied with this. Because of this, she began to choose piano for Sophia when she was three years old, hoping that Sophia could master the more profound and complicated art of piano, so as to tap her talent.
From enlightenment education to Sophia, we have seen the tiger mother is different. You know, this is the United States, and a Chinese mother who insists on managing her children with her own Chinese education will encounter many difficulties. First of all, I have to convince my husband to face the doubts of my neighbors. This is really very brave, and this is just the beginning. There are many twists and turns behind, and their stories are more exciting than novels.
When Sophia was 3 years old, her sister had a nickname Lulu when she was born. Unlike Sophia, who listens to the tiger mother, Lulu has been rebellious since she was a child. In a mother-daughter confrontation, Tiger Mother was challenged for the first time. What happened was this: Tiger Mother wanted Lulu to learn the piano, so she took Lulu to play at home. First, she played a few notes for Lulu to demonstrate, but Lulu patted around the piano and didn't want to learn. So Tiger Mother got angry and scolded Lulu for playing well. I didn't expect Lulu to be more arrogant and started kicking around. At this time, the tiger mother was going crazy, so she threw Lulu on the porch outside and warned her not to obey and threw her into the yard. I didn't expect Lulu to take the initiative to go to the yard. In the winter of MINUS 6 degrees, Lulu shivered with cold, but she wouldn't listen to Tiger Mother. Really stubborn. In desperation, the tiger's tiger was challenged for the first time, so she took Lulu back, bathed her and ate delicious snacks.
From this incident, Tiger Mother also realized that Lulu and Sophia have different personalities and cannot adopt the same strategy. They should teach students in accordance with their aptitude and sometimes compromise in due course. Lulu is the nemesis of the tiger mother, and from then on, the mother and daughter will also fight with each other.
While Lulu made the tiger mother suffer serious setbacks, Sophia brought good news to the tiger mother like an angel. When Sophia was 7 years old, she won an award in a local piano competition, which was a great encouragement to Tiger Mother and a compliment to her strict education. She is convinced that studying according to children's preferences, practicing for half an hour every day and praising children in the way of western mothers can't help Sophia win the prize. So she supervised Sophia and practiced the piano for at least an hour and a half every day. She believes that superb skills must depend on day-to-day practice. Of course, this may not be recognized by western mothers, but she firmly believes in the power of practice. She does exercises with Sophia every day and will always supervise her and be strict with her to prevent her from making low-level mistakes. So under the hard and boring training mode, Sophia's technology grew rapidly. But Tiger Mother found Sophia unhappy every day and unwilling to play the piano. Tiger mother also considered this problem, and finally came to the conclusion that parents don't have to make their children happy and please them. Sometimes it is irresponsible to children, because letting children indulge their temper will only inhibit their potential and hinder their progress.
Compared with Sophia, Lulu's piano progress is very slow. Lulu doesn't like the piano, and she always rants. In order to avoid the blind comparison between Lulu and Sophia, Tiger Mother lives under the aura of Sophia, and she decides to let Lulu learn violin instead. Although she did, she didn't think it was bad for the child from the bottom of her heart. She believes that the appropriate comparison is to develop children's potential and make them stronger. For example, she sometimes says to Lulu, "Look how well Sophia plays. You should train as hard as she does." In her view, comparing the two daughters is to inspire Lulu and prevent her from falling into the quagmire of inferiority in the future because of her lack of ability.
Ok, this is the first knowledge point to share with you today. From the entanglement between Chinese education and western education to Hu Ma's firm implementation of Chinese education, her educational methods have achieved certain results. She insists on being strict with her children and praising them as little as possible. In order to stand out among her peers, she asks her children to practice hard and practice more. These educational ideas, which only belong to the tiger mother, have always dominated the educational process of the two daughters. Whether it is right or wrong depends on your own judgment. I will continue to interpret this book for you tomorrow.
Secondary phase
Today we are going to introduce the second part of the book "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother": Should parents compromise with their children?
In the first part, we can see the tiger mother's persistence in Chinese education and high demands on her daughter. At the same time, we also see that our daughter will be a little unhappy. Then you may have questions. Should parents compromise in educating their children? After all, no one wants to be an annoying mother or father. Tiger mother also encountered this problem, but she made another choice.
On Tiger Mother's birthday, the whole family had a big meal in the restaurant to celebrate. At this time, Tiger Mother's two daughters Sophia and Lulu successively took out homemade greeting cards and gave them to Tiger Mother as birthday gifts. But when she saw the rough and scrawled birthday cards, Tiger Mother didn't accept them and express her gratitude like a typical western mother. On the contrary, she flatly refused to let them change it again. The two daughters complained about this, but in the end, according to her request, they modified the birthday card on the birthday night and gave it to her.
When you see this, you will be surprised at the severity of the tiger mother, and even think that she is a little heartless. "This will make children hate!" You might think. But tiger mother doesn't care. She thinks that if we compromise with our child and set a lower standard for her, we will miss the opportunity to make her better. She hopes to create a bright and promising future for her children. Therefore, she would rather be a strict mother who makes her daughter tremble than praise her daughter and destroy her children's loving mother.
More than that, in other aspects, she will not think too much about her daughter's feelings, but will force her daughter to meet her high standards. For example, at her mother-in-law's funeral, she asked her two grieving daughters to write sincere and profound eulogies in memory of her grandmother. However, it was severely rejected by two daughters, which will not let Tiger Mother give up this idea. She used both hard and soft methods to make them do it. Finally, the arm could not twist the thigh, and the two daughters did as she said. At the funeral, they made a heartfelt eulogy, which was greatly praised by relatives and friends who attended the funeral. This time, Tiger Mother won again. Tiger mother's strong education once again gained the upper hand.
Tiger mother's natural strength forces her daughters to make continuous progress, and she has nothing to say about her daughters' efforts. In her words, don't be stingy with your investment in children. China's parents are generous with their children, especially the tiger mother. In order to find a good violin teacher for Lulu, they can drive 9 hours to a famous violinist's house, hoping Lulu can become her favorite pupil. After driving to the destination, Lulu began an emergency rehearsal in order to perform better during the performance. What's more, Tiger Mother will save money for summer vacation and even big meals, buy high-quality violins for Lulu, and spend a lot of money to ask teachers to teach her, which can be said to be a lot of trouble.
So is Sophia. She took Sophia to the famous pianist Yang, accompanied her to piano lessons every day, and urged her to practice piano after class. Sometimes she yells at Sophia's mistakes, and sometimes she revels in her wonderful piano sound. With such efforts and constant running back and forth, Sophia finally got the opportunity to play in Carnegie Hall, and was unanimously praised by people. This is the highlight moment of the tiger mother. She has a great sense of accomplishment and has more ardent expectations for her daughters.
When she saw her daughter's achievements, she thought that the rejection she had suffered in the past and the energy and money she had spent were worth it. This is also the typical mentality of China's parents. As long as they can win a better future, they can make great efforts for their children.
From these things, we can also see Tiger Mother's educational philosophy: she insists on paying for her children and cultivating them at all costs. Moreover, she has strong execution ability and can persistently supervise her daughter. Fortunately, the two daughters have become accustomed to her way of education and can withstand this high-pressure way. So for their daughters, the advantages should outweigh the disadvantages. However, parents, don't blindly imitate after seeing it. This kind of dedication is certainly very touching, but if you ignore the child's personality and use it blindly, it may not have a good result. Not everyone is suitable for this kind of high-pressure education.
In this process, there have also been some very controversial things. For example, Tiger Mother thinks that children are an extension of their parents, and children should unconditionally obey themselves and work hard for the glory of the family. This concept remains to be discussed. After all, times are changing, and many parents no longer care about their children. They want their children to be themselves, do what they like and live for themselves. In real life, this concept of tiger mother really failed, such as the resistance of her daughter Lulu. This part of Lulu often does not cooperate with practice, and her attitude towards Tiger Mother is getting worse and worse, and she is becoming more and more dissatisfied. This worried the tiger mother, and the final break was quietly brewing.
This is the second part of the book I want to share with you today. Do parents have to compromise with their children? I will continue to interpret this book for you tomorrow.
third
Today we are going to talk about the third part of the book "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother": how to give children proper freedom. This is also an important turning point in this book. Because in the first two movies, what we saw was the strength and control of the tiger mother, which suffocated the two daughters. Of course, they have also made some achievements. But as we mentioned in the last part, the break between Lulu and Tiger Mother will also happen. Next, let me tell you what's going on.
Tiger mother treats Lulu just like Sophia. It's a pity that Lulu is resolute and independent, not an obedient child, so she began to constantly resist Tiger Mother. She often doesn't practice at the time designated by Tiger Mother, sometimes she doesn't concentrate on practicing violin, and even has a bad attitude towards the teacher chosen by Tiger Mother, which makes Tiger Mother very angry. So Tiger Mother ordered Lulu to stop all this evil deeds, but Lulu didn't listen to her, even though she wouldn't let Lulu eat. Lulu is a teenager, and she is no longer scared by such punishment. On the other hand, this is also a side effect of Tiger Mother's high-handed policy. It also proves that not every child can adapt to the tiger mother's education. People's personalities are different, and parents also need different education methods, which cannot be applied across the board. Let's go back to Lulu and Tiger Mom. Finally, one day, Lulu and Tiger Mother had a big fight in the restaurant. Tiger mother forced Lulu to eat caviar, but Lulu refused to eat it. She challenged Tiger Mother's authority in public and broke several cups. These bad behaviors made Tiger Mother almost collapse. She ran out of the restaurant and ran until there was no way out. This also made her feel that her education for Lulu was going into a desperate situation.
She is very reluctant to see this, but in fact it is true. It suddenly occurred to her that when she was a child, she never had much choice. She has always listened to her parents' demands and tried to be a good daughter. She was admitted to Harvard University to win honor for her family. She is sad and confused. Did she do something wrong? Is the truth you believe wrong? During this time, Tiger Mom's mother and Lulu's grandmother told her that the times have changed now, and her Lulu's education method will also change.
She is also deeply aware that if she doesn't change, she will gradually alienate Lulu and eventually lose Lulu. To prevent this from happening, she decided to compromise. She changed the way of education, began to give Lulu more freedom, and gave up letting Lulu learn the violin. Accompany Lulu to practice tennis. Tennis practice is Lulu's favorite thing, although she is not very good at it. The coach also said that Lulu had no talent in tennis, but Lulu worked hard and made 1 10% efforts. Tiger mother saw it in her eyes. Although she didn't agree, she couldn't beat Lulu.
This incident let the tiger mother know that the child needs to be given some freedom. At the same time, it also reminds parents who are listening to the audio that their children need some respect and freedom, not only Lulu needs it, but also your children need it. Simple control and suppression may be effective in the early stage, because early children are weak and have to listen to adults; But when they are older, have their own ideas and have the strength to resist, they will be less obedient. This story is a negative case of tiger mother, but fortunately, tiger mother can reflect on herself in time and correct her inappropriate education methods, which is very precious. To err is human, and correcting mistakes is a very important advantage. Let children become themselves and give them the freedom to grow up, which every parent should remember.
The story of the whole book is coming to an end here. Finally, I want to summarize the main contents of this book in three sentences:
[If! First, [endif] China education is different from western education. Tiger mother insists on a thorough Chinese education for her daughter. In the end, her daughter made remarkable achievements, which made the family proud. In her book, Tiger Mother praised China's education and thought that China's education was the best.
[If! Second, in the story of Tiger Mother, China's parents will not give in to their children easily. When parents force their children to do a lot of repetitive exercises, they will be unhappy and hate their parents, but Tiger Mother will still do so, because she believes that it doesn't matter to be hated by children, but it is important to think about their future.
[If! Third, [endif] give children some freedom and don't let them do things they hate. This is what Tiger Mother got from her own educational experience. In the confrontation with Lulu, Tiger Mother finally gave up control and let Lulu choose what she liked. Sophia, the eldest daughter of Tiger Mother, was forced to keep practicing, but when she was finally surrounded by applause and flowers, she was very happy. In other words, she wants to get excellent grades, likes playing the piano, and she can adapt to this kind of education, so it is her own choice.
Throughout the book, Tiger Mother focuses on her own experience of educating her daughter, telling it in the form of a story, which is ups and downs and fascinating. It should be noted that the educational ideas I just read in the audio are all tiger mother's educational ideas and do not represent the views of this program. Parents may also have a lot of opinions after listening. Tiger mother's educational concept caused great controversy at that time, and there are still many voices against her until now.
So don't blindly believe in authority and blindly follow the tiger mother's education method. From this book, she also made her point clear. For example, in a family in China, children should absolutely obey their parents and work hard for the family. These views are out of date. There is also her absolute admiration for Chinese education and her absolute contempt for Western education. For example, in her book, she mentioned that "children from China families must be happier than those from western families" or "Western education can only teach useless children". These views are groundless and biased, and parents need to look at them objectively.
Well, the interpretation of this book is over. Congratulations on taking another step forward on the road of educating people and self-education. See you next week.