When children grow up, it is talents who can be applied to society.

To cultivate children, we must first educate them to become adults. Only when children learn to be human can they do things, learn, communicate with others, be finally applied to society and be competitive. A person's competitiveness often depends not entirely on his intelligence level, but on how he uses his intelligence. A person with good behavior habits can often play an excellent role in the journey of life and get twice the result with half the effort. Because of what kind of behavior habits, what kind of personality will there be; What kind of personality, there will be what kind of opportunities; What kind of opportunities there are, what kind of development achievements there will be.

As one of the great men in American history, Benjamin Franklin taught himself French, Spanish, Italian and Latin, became an extraordinary scientist, writer, diplomat, inventor, painter and philosopher, and finally led the United States on the road to independence. Franklin's success is largely due to his use of habits.

Pay attention to daily behavior norms to develop good habits.

Franklin invented a method when he was young. He first listed the necessary conditions for the success of 13: temperance, silence, order, decisiveness, frugality, diligence, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, calmness, purity and humility; Then, Franklin decided to acquire these 13 virtues and form a habit; To this end, he designed a success record, each virtue occupied a page, drew a good grid, and when he reflected every night, if he found something that had not been realized that day, he made a mark with a pen. It was by turning these virtues into habits that Franklin succeeded.

The family should cooperate with the school to promote the all-round development of children's body and mind, intelligence, sensitivity, aesthetic consciousness, personal responsibility and outlook on life, so that children can gradually form an independent and critical ideology, have the ability of dialectical materialism analysis and judgment, and form habits, so that children can decide their own affairs in their future work and life.

Confucius said, "If a villain succeeds, habit becomes nature."

Children lose at the starting line and win a unique life.

If life is described as a game, the metaphor of "starting line" is more appropriate. But "losing at the starting line" is only suitable for short-distance races, such as the 100-meter race. If it is a marathon, you are not afraid of losing at the starting line. On the contrary, marathoners who win at the starting line often get up early and rush to the late gathering because they don't save their physical strength.

It can be seen that whether parents should worry about their children losing at the starting line depends on parents' estimation of their children's life expectancy. If a child's life is a sprint, and it is only ten years, he must not let the child lose at the starting line. As we all know, the key to the 100-meter race is often the start. If you start early, you will have succeeded more than half. However, if parents have a long life expectancy for their children, it means that their life is a marathon, and it doesn't matter whether the starting line is ahead. The characteristic of marathon is who laughs last and who laughs best.

The key to long-distance running is to preserve physical strength, which is the same as the truth that children learn knowledge. When children have no certain experience, they are given knowledge that does not match their age. Children who have no life experience will not have a deep understanding of knowledge, not only will they not resonate, but they will even hate it. The success of education is not measured by scores, but by whether the educated are more and more interested in what they have learned or less, and whether the children can grow psychologically.

If the educated are more and more interested in what they have learned, education is successful, and vice versa. The degree to which the educated are interested in what they have learned depends not only on the teachers' teaching methods and school education, but also on the children's perception of knowledge. For example, a 5-year-old child just recited Silent Night Thinking mechanically, while a 20-year-old young man who is far away from home may burst into tears and have mixed feelings if he sees Silent Night Thinking for the first time.

Anyone who has bought a new car knows that it has a running-in period. During the running-in period of new cars, the speed should not be too fast. Only in this way can the car go fast in the future. If the new car is driven at a high speed during the running-in period, it will be premature and will be overwhelmed when it is driven at a high speed. Suppose people are compared to cars, and their running-in period is childhood. You can't run at full load in childhood, you should run in moderately. In this way, when children reach adulthood, they can whip their horses and be full of energy.

Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge."

Only people with imagination can do creative work. Imagination and knowledge are natural enemies. In the process of acquiring knowledge, imagination will disappear. Because knowledge is logical, but imagination has no rules to follow. In other words, the essence of knowledge is science, and the characteristics of imagination are absurd. A man's brain can't have two tigers in one mountain: in preschool, imagination dominates and the brain is occupied by imagination.

After going to school, most people's imagination will be expelled from the country by knowledge, and they will become intellectuals who lose their imagination and can only repeat the knowledge discovered by their predecessors for life. These people can't make career plans for themselves. Few people can let knowledge and imagination coexist in their own brains. Once the two coexist, this person is a successful person who can carry out creative work and overcome setbacks.

Children are exposed to knowledge late in childhood, which is conducive to imagination camping in the brain. If the child becomes an imaginative and knowledgeable person, you can become the father and mother of the master.

Please let the children lose at the starting line. Losing at the starting line may win your life. Winning at the starting line may cost you your life. If you want to take it, you must first have great wisdom.

You need to learn the stocking education.

In fact, "stocking" is not uneducated. Some parents regard "stocking" as "laissez-faire", and are busy with work, career or part-time job to make money all day, only providing children with the guarantee of life, but ignoring their inner world. In modern society, families should try to avoid closed and isolated "captivity" and abandon unrestrained and laissez-faire "stocking", which will easily lead to children's lack of gregarious and cooperative spirit, and most likely to form "problem children". The key to proper "stocking" education is to cultivate their awareness of rules in play and guide them step by step, thus promoting children's healthy psychological growth.

According to a survey, 50% fathers spend less than 5 hours a week with their children on average! Communicate effectively with children for no more than 6 minutes every day! Psychological research shows that preschool, children and teenagers need different communication and companionship at different stages of their children's growth, and neither father nor mother can be absent. Otherwise, it is not conducive to the formation and perfection of their personality.

How do dads answer this question?

"I'm busy"-whenever the child says, "Will you play with me for a while?" Parents always answer, "I don't have time to play with you." Due to heavy work pressure or different life concepts, more and more "post-80s" parents hand over the responsibility of raising and accompanying their children to grandparents and other third parties.

"I don't understand"-parents often say, "I don't know how to teach children." So I sent my children to the social education mechanism, thinking that "investing money" can make up for my own shortcomings.

One father is better than 100 principals.

In fact, the value of parent-child companionship exceeds any education and training. It is not enough to give children material care. Sincere companionship and careful care are more important. The key words of parent-child companionship include interaction, respect, dialogue and understanding.

The best companionship is spiritual companionship, and a good relationship based on close emotional connection should be established between father and son. Communicate and communicate through true and inner feelings, convey love, trust and security, and promote understanding, care and trust. In the process of children's growth, the intimate relationship between parents and children is more important than "correct" skills! The love and trust that spiritual companionship conveys to children will affect their life.

The investment with the highest rate of return is parent-child relationship.

Any professional role can be replaced, but the role of parents is irreplaceable. Some people say that choosing a job is choosing a lifestyle. The struggle in the career makes people full of self-confidence and sense of accomplishment, but the absence in the family and the indifference between parents and children greatly reduce the beauty of life. In early childhood, parents are willing to "invest" in parent-child relationship, and children can get positive returns all their lives. Some people say that I work hard to make money, not only for this family, but also for children to live better and receive better education! However, is it worthwhile to exchange time for money in the workplace that should belong to yourself and your family?

The concept of stocking is sometimes misunderstood by some parents.

I once attended a parent-child lecture. At that time, an older mother brought a pair of twins to the lecture. The twins were over two years old, just at the age of exploring the world.

In the classroom of parent-child lecture, there is a teacher in front, and everyone is listening carefully below, but the twins are running around in the classroom for a while and dragging the scrolls of Chinese painting hanging on the wall for a while. Mom just sat there listening to the class, and the teacher probably didn't say anything out of courtesy, but later when two little guys scribbled on the slide screen with markers, the teacher broke the silence for the two children and told their mothers.

Later, during the break, after listening to the introduction of this mother, I realized that she was also the host of a parent-child program on a Chinese radio station in Auckland, and she had her program at a fixed time every week. At that time, she also explained to us why she didn't take care of the children in class. Her philosophy is that children are over two years old and exploring the world, so we should give them more opportunities to explore.

At first glance, her idea is correct. Children over two years old are at the age when they feel fresh about everything and want to touch everything when they see it. If the caregiver refuses to let the child do anything or touch anything at this age for one reason or another, the child will lose many opportunities to explore the world and learn at the same time.

However, this stocking must have principles, including:

① Safe. The key to our parents' safety in China lies in moderation. I remember 1999, when I had no children, I was invited by a friend to visit a kindergarten in New Zealand. After the visit, I was scared. At that time, I saw those preschool children (New Zealand children will go to school on their fifth birthday, so kindergarten children should be under five unless there are any special circumstances), standing on the ladder to nail, standing on the workbench to saw wood, sitting at the table to cut paper, and all the children used physical objects. At that time, I thought these things belonged to kindergarten "controlled" knives in China! But that's how children played at that time! Looking back now, isn't this a kind of stocking? Now it's your child's turn to go to kindergarten. The scene you saw has not changed much from ten years ago. At the same time, I have never heard of children being injured by these tools. Through observation, I found that when children play with these "toys", teachers take pains to teach them rules, essentials and precautions. These rules ensure the safety of children and learn from them.

(2) Do not infringe upon the interests of others. Just like the twin mother I mentioned earlier, her stocking is the result of infringing on the interests of others. There is nothing wrong with children exploring the world, but "exploration" disturbs the classroom order and disturbs others' listening. Mom saw it and should stop it in time.

(3) It does not cause a lot of property losses. We can't let the child throw the diamond ring in his mother's hand into the lake just because he wants to see what it looks like when something falls into the water. At this point, different families can make rules according to their own situation and keep a balance.

Whether a child can succeed depends on his mother.

I don't know if you have noticed how many celebrity biographies describe mothers in this way: mothers are gentle, virtuous and considerate, and she always pays silently for her children without complaining. Mother is strong, kind and opinionated, as if nothing can beat her ... Are these words familiar? It is such a mother that it is possible to cultivate such excellent children.

Because children have an instinctive dependence on their mothers when they are young, their mother's personality, language and behavior will affect their lives. How can we make the child's personality habits not develop in the opposite direction to the mother's personality and inherit the advantages of the mother? The best way is for a mother to restrain herself in front of her children and become a real mother.

In front of children, not at the negotiating table, mothers don't need to look at children with critical, critical and demanding eyes. Their aggressive attitude, harsh language, manipulative behavior and self-righteous judgment do far more harm to children's self-esteem and self-confidence than exam-oriented education. For a child, from the moment he was born, the child's demand for the role of mother is almost eternal.

1. "Ignorant" mother

When a child comes to ask his mother such a question as "how to pronounce this word", her mother had better not answer him immediately. The worst answer is "How come you don't even know this word". Mom had better take a look and say, oh, I don't know. Shall we look up the dictionary together? After several times, the mother taught the child to use the dictionary. At the same time, children will have a great sense of accomplishment after looking up this word in the dictionary. After many times, he will get into the habit of not relying on his mother to look up information.

When children come to ask their mothers questions, they must not act as smart and capable as they do in the company. Pretending to be "ignorant" is a good way to encourage children to use their brains and figure out their own problems, or mothers can consult books with their children or use the Internet. Mother can't say all the answers like "spill the beans from the bamboo tube" and be complacent while saying it, which is not good for the growth of children. After several times, the child will avoid asking her questions and become very inferior.

2. Go to the door and forget your unhappiness.

Mother must remind herself before entering the house: forget all the unpleasant things in the unit, and now she is taking on the role of mother. Children need their mothers to be happy, so don't pass on bad feelings that have nothing to do with children, because children are innocent.

3. Children's small honor is very important.

Don't show boredom or disdain when the child happily tells his mother that he got a five-pointed star or a small red flower at school today. Be sure to praise him as happily as your son. The most appropriate way is to say whether you can show it to your mother and share this happiness with him, because this honor is very important to your child.

4. Calm down, calm down, be sure to calm down.

When the child tells her mother that she didn't do well in the exam today, her mother must restrain her emotions, never get angry or look gloomy. The child is looking at her face nervously at the moment. Therefore, it is best for mothers not to show emotional changes, and let their children take out their papers and analyze what went wrong with them. If the child has understood what is wrong, the mother doesn't have to pester him any more. But in the end, I encouraged him: you see, if you understand, you won't be wrong in the next exam. If mom feels that she can't control her emotions, go to the bathroom to wash her face, look in the mirror and take a few deep breaths.

I was a coward before.

When a child shows timidity before an exam or before doing something important, the mother must disagree or scold him for being timid or acting more nervous than him, which will aggravate the child's psychological pressure and lead to the child's failure to play normally. At this time, the mother had better tell the child easily that no matter what you do, mom and dad are not as good as you at your age. Don't worry. At this time, the child will be very confident and confident, and will play better than usual.

If the child wants to participate in important activities the next day, when the mother observes that the child is preoccupied and nervous, it is best for the mother to sleep with him at the bedside that night, and tell him a story or read his favorite book before going to bed to relieve his inner pressure until the child falls asleep.

We should be stronger in the face of failure.

When a child encounters failure or frustration, the mother should be strong, never give up, and tell the child calmly that failure only represents a temporary failure, not a lifetime failure. No children. Before she considered giving up, her mother first showed no hope. The worst thing is to use harsh language to dig at him, scold the child for nothing, and even settle old and new accounts together. Children educated by such mothers will feel extremely inferior, affect their mental health and even give up their bright future.

7. You must do this.

Before the child has clearly expressed what he wants to say, the mother should not be self-righteous to express her views. Whether children like it or not, they should use the tone of "you must …" and "you should …" to command children, and represent their own views and ask them to implement them. Mother must not be synonymous with "autocracy". In this case, the grown-up children lack independent opinions and the ability to judge right and wrong. Mothers and children should establish an equal relationship (equality is not unprincipled) and know how to respect each other.

8. The injury comes from the people closest to you.

A mother should control her way of speaking in front of her children. Mothers know children best in the world, so they know their weaknesses best. If a mother often points directly at her child's weakness when she speaks, satirizes, criticizes or threatens, or deliberately asks her child to do it knowing that she can't do it, she is undoubtedly stabbing her child with the sharpest weapon. The child will be very hurt inside, because this kind of injury comes from the people closest to him.

9. nagging

Mothers should control the number of languages in front of their children. Stop nagging. In fact, what scares children most is the mother's silence. So instead of talking endlessly to your child, it is better to tell your child in short language what mistakes he made or what he should pay attention to. Next, mother's silence is definitely more useful than continuing to talk. Don't think that children don't understand. Although he pretends to be indifferent, he is actually observing whether his mother takes what he says seriously.