-Zhu Deyong, the absolute child.

What can parents teach their children?

Parents teach their children to control their emotions, get along with others correctly and handle things rationally.

Many parents know that strict education is very important for children's growth. Strict education is the foundation of success, but many parents think that being too strict will destroy children's self-confidence.

So what kind of education method should we choose?

I want to educate my children strictly, but I choose to indulge them for fear that they will leave a psychological shadow. Is the result really good?

There has always been a saying in China that "a loving mother often defeats her child". Children can't tell right from wrong and can only get results from their parents. When a parent gets angry and denies his behavior, the child knows that such a thing is wrong and should not be done next time.

On the other hand, parents have been tolerating their children's mistakes, letting them escape their mistakes on the grounds of "children are still young" and "they will understand when they grow up", so children will never understand what the bottom line is.

Some children's growth history is a history of suffering.

For children, the most vulnerable thing is psychology. The author of "My 20 Years of Hunting Murderers in the FBI" said in the book: Most people can understand physical pain, such as domestic violence, but mental trauma is often more fatal.

Few parents take their children's "psychological trauma" seriously. In their view, when a child grows up, he will understand that everything his parents do is for his own good.

But after the injury, there are very few children who can really open their hearts and understand their parents. More children can no longer be "normal" under the rude education of their parents.

Parents think that they can educate their children with "advice when most needed is least heeded", hoping that their children will become stronger and not be defeated by setbacks, but they often ignore that this method may have a greater impact on their hearts.

To some extent, this is a kind of mental violence, which will leave a big shadow in children's hearts.

There are some things that children will not understand until they are old. A young child, lacking in logical ability and understanding ability. If he just wants to use reasonable methods, sometimes it is useless.

What can convince children is the attitude of parents towards their children, and the expression and tone they give when they speak are more important than the content of their speech!

Obviously it is a very serious matter, but parents don't take it seriously and handle it at will. What may be recorded in the child's mind is that this matter is not serious and can be committed again in the future.

You care about your child's feelings and wishes, and the child will in turn care about your feelings and wishes.

When there is a problem, it is best to communicate face to face with your child, instead of prejudging and arbitrarily deciding whether something is right or wrong. Human growth is a process of constant self-reflection and self-correction, and we should also respect children's right to enjoy this process.

If children want to obey the rules, parents must set an example. For example, you can't play with electronic devices at the dinner table, you can't lie, and you should finish your own things in time. Parents themselves must do it first, telling their children, "I can do it, so can you." So that children will be willing to abide by it with their parents.

On the other hand, if parents say to their children, "You must do it!" "You are not a 3-year-old child!" "Other people's children are much more obedient than you!" Wait, it may scare the child for a while, but what is instilled in the child from top to bottom is: I am your guardian, you must listen to me! This is an authority, and such a relationship will obviously frustrate your communication with your children.

Parents can't teach everything, but should make rules on those issues that involve big and big, so that children can understand that they can't cross the line and do dangerous things.

What parents ask their children to do, they will set an example first. According to the child's acceptance, cognitive level, age, personality and environment, it is decided whether to be strict or tolerant to the child.

What is a healthy parent-child family relationship? Parents liberated themselves and made their children. Children can "manage" themselves and don't have to revolve around them.